Posts Tagged ‘Oprah’

Beware of Illusions

December 6, 2010

Last night, I watched the Keith Urban interview on the Oprah show. I am a HUGE Keith Urban fan. LOVE him!

As the little intro played prior to the show introducing him to the audience and viewers, there it was…Pictures of him as a little guy loving country music, playing guitar to Australian audiences and hitting super Aussie stardom, and then a few sentences such as “he left Australia and moved to Nashville where he rocketed to even great fame!”

And, while that sounds nice, it isn’t exactly true. They left out a minor detail of the 10 YEARS in between “leaving Australia” and “rocketing to fame” not to mention some major bouts with the dark night of the soul, drug abuse and false starts during that 10 years.

Why do I care?

Well, because I see people trying to measure up and reproduce these illusions and they are simply not real. I’ve probably read between 500 and 1,000 biographies and autobiographies, and any way you slice it, the arc is roughly 10 years.

I don’t care if you are Brittany Spears who started at 7 or so and was a superstar by 17 or you are Taylor Swift and you started singing at 3 and were a megasuperstar by 16 or you are J.K. Rowling who wrote for years, and then committed to a character and story for five years and hit mega stardom two to three years after that. Even late-in-life successes such as Paula Dean adhered to that time span.

The focus tends to be on the destination. The desire is attached to the fame. However, each one of these ‘superstars’ took a journey to the center of who they are and each day showed up to be what that is. Along the way, they figured out the details.

So, if you are feeling like it is going to take too long to reach your dream, keep this in mind. The sooner you get going, the sooner the 10 years (or so) ticks away. Be honest, if you didn’t believe in yourself until now (like I did) or if you haven’t had the courage until now (like many I know) or if you simply didn’t figure out what ‘it’ is (like most of us), give yourself a break and be happy that you are on the same trail as all of those who went before you. Enjoy the day to day details that are guaranteed to take you places if and only if you don’t quit (because it feels like that destination is just too far away).

You can be a REAL form of the true you…superstar and all…if you start today! What is REALLY exciting is that at that 10 year mark, things have a way of exponentially taking off.

Keith Urban

P.S. And, if you don’t believe me about the 10 years or so, check for yourself. You can look up any movie star you like, find their ‘breakout hit’ and then travel back in time on their filmography and see how MANY films (and years) there were BEFORE they were famous enough for you to notice them. There’s a reason why there’s a term called a 10-year overnight success! :) Of course, like anything there ARE exceptions to the rules…though I don’t see many of them! And, don’t stop that from you being open to being one of them…still, it all starts in the same place and goes from there…one-step-at-a-time.

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I drank in the Oprah interview with J.K. Rowling like a kid eating popcorn in the front row of the theater. Two of my favorite ladies in the world sitting together for tea, chatting like old friends felt like life at its best. I love a great conversation, and let me tell you, this was a great conversation.

Oprah asks such great questions – the ones I always want to ask – and J.K. (Jo) was so open and honest. Yeah!!

On the show, a clip from a Harvard University commencement speech showed Jo talking about failure and how failure is so important. She said that she hit rock bottom and that foundation is where she rebuilt her life. Having gone through my own huge failure (complete with paralyzing stint in the ditch) I so related to what she shared. I have spoken to friends about how we all ‘play it safe’ and ‘quit’ when we think we aren’t going to win something. I wrote about my Oprah tryout…that day my intuition told me I would not get a call back, but my inner guidance said, “Go.” In our world so focused on succeeding and racking up achievements, what would one every think about going somewhere where you know you won’t win? That day, I got to see and learn what the experience has to offer me.

My own failure was debilitating. I was ill-prepared for it as I had skirted dealing with any failure (except for the end of my first marriage) my entire life. Once I locked into a path, and then my intuition alerted me that all the doors were closing, I freaked (literally!). I was scared. I could only hold on for dear life. But what I didn’t know then that J.K., Oprah and many others, including myself, know is that failure is just a moment in time that molds you and offers you a gift to use to create something new. Like Jo said… her rock bottom became her foundation… “there was nothing left to lose.”

When Pat Bacilli was on my show a few weeks ago, she talked about this, too. She talked about not going for it, playing it safe. Jo, in the commencement clip, eluded to the unfortunate experience of playing it so safe that you might as well not lived at all. Ah, yes. Wise words for all of us.

When I go speak for organizations, I ask, “What is your juicy dream? What is the dream in the back of your heart that you know you want to go for?” Most people know what their dream is. Not many dare to let it see the light of day. I dare you to pull yours out and consider taking just one step.

When I went to the childrens’ book writing conference a few weeks ago, I met many people who had written for years and never considered publishing. There I was, juicy dream in my heart, 30+ years later considering the possibility of my dream. Why now? For me, it is because I’m no longer afraid. As Jo shared in her interview, poverty cut everything that was not essential. I’ve done that too. I now have space for what is most important to me, and I also know what is important to me. Now it is time to do only those things. Nothing more. Nothing less.

And, yes, spending an hour with Oprah and Jo is one of those things most important to me. It goes under the heading of ‘tea with good friends.’ It’s an interview I’ll never forget. It even included a tidbit about Jo hearing an encouragement from a ‘voice’… “The hard part will be getting published. If you do that, it will be huge.” SO glad she didn’t give up!

J.K. Rowling, Harry Potter

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Oprah and Me!

June 13, 2010

Hey everyone, thanks so much for your well wishes. I didn’t get a call back, though Ellany Cevan, did!! Send your well wishes her way…let’s share the love! Ellany, Brandon (her husband) and I went to the auditions at 4:45 am. We arrived just before 5 am. There were hardly any people there – maybe 100 or so. We were numbers 22, 23 and 24 in Line D. They took groups with 12 people each and we pitched ourselves and our show ideas to one person from the OWN crew. Ellany nailed it and totally deserves to be there! PLUS, she set an intention LAST YEAR (before the contest was even announced) that she was going to have a show on the OWN network. That’s what I call INTENTION, baby!

What I learned from going for it:

1. Going big with friends is better. If you don’t make it, then you still get to celebrate for your friends, and if you do, then they can celebrate with you!

2. Just going big feels amazing. As we stood in line, we patted ourselves on the back for just DOING IT. I am still feeling the expansiveness of possibility despite not getting a call back. “This or something better” for my highest good is my motto!

3. It’s not as scary as you think it’s going to be. In my mind, I thought it was going to be a much bigger deal than it was. It was really simple, really laid back and the people were awesome – those trying out and those working with OWN (of course).

4. When you put yourself into greater possibility, you want to stay there. Even as we were waiting in line, I was exclaiming, “THIS feels A-MAZING…what else can we experience?”

5. You always get a gift for yourself. For me, just filling out the application was a gift to see and consider things I haven’t thought about in years. Clarity came in the form of… yes, life is FULL of possibility!

6. I have so many people who love me. Your emails and well wishes touched my heart – thank you!! What a gift to enjoy those. Brandon and Ellany came to spend the night since the tryouts were just 10 minutes from our house (is that lucky or what?). We had so much fun the night before we stayed up all night!

7. Breaking barriers is fun. When I was in Junior High, I made it to the second round of cheerleader tryouts but felt I would not make the squad. Rather than ‘fail,’ I quit. The reason why was I didn’t want to be embarrassed by ‘losing.’ Today, nearly 30 years later, I’m realizing there is no embarrassment in losing something that was never yours to begin with! Isn’t that so funny? Leaving that behind was a huge gift.

8. Thinking you could do something someone else is doing as you are watching them is NOT the same as actually doing it. We’ve all watched people trying out and thought, “I could do that.” Well, I can tell you that LIVING your life and EXPERIENCING it is not nearly the same as watching others live their lives. GO FOR IT!! For years, I really thought I WAS living my life but what I was really doing was living it vicariously through watching others. My intuitive nature allowed me to do that. Boy, LIVING is so much better!

9. Only I can decide for myself. I decided I was going and I knew what I wanted was the feeling of I did it! I showed up! And, boy, did I get that feeling and then some. It was awesome!

10. If you don’t try, you’ll never get the chance. Mark’s mom said to me, “Well, if you don’t go, you know you won’t get a chance!” Mark says, “If you want to win the lottery, you’ve got to buy a ticket. I would add, “and you must claim it too!”

I’m so inspired by the experience, I’m wondering what else I can do with this energy!! Where can you ‘go for it?’ in your life? Do it today… jump in, the water’s fine!!

P.S. Mark is going to post some pics. The crew made jokes that they weren’t going to judge us on what we looked like in 100 degree weather. It wasn’t yet 100 degrees, but it was HUMID and my hair was frizzing to the max! LOL

Sometimes I wonder about how we are all connected, and how we touch each others lives in ways we don’t even know.

I’m seriously behind on my Oprah watching, so I decided to take a break and watch a few episodes. Stephanie Nielson, a blogger who was loved and adored by many blogging fans of her popular blog, the Nie Nie Dialogues shared her story of coming back from the brink of death.

I sat spellbound watching the story about this woman and her prince and how they survived a plane crash that smashed the plane into a million little pieces.

What touched me the most was the courage, the heroism that came through in the interview. First, when Stephanie described how her husband, Christian broke his back trying to get the door open for her, and then when Stephanie walked out with the obvious scars from their experience in the burning aircraft. She walked out so bravely with the dazzling blue eyes that her dad said he knew it was her when he saw them through all of the bandages that covered her body, which had been burned more than 80 percent.

Then, she talked about a moment when she was in the hospital when ‘someone’… an angel… a messenger possibly – she didn’t say specifically – told her that she could choose to leave or she could choose to stay. She chose to stay… despite the pain, she came back for her family.

Wow. What a moment.

It reminded me of a moment when I prayed for a man who was in a coma. He showed me that he saw death and life, and he kept going back and forth with the decision. Until that moment, I didn’t realize that there ever is a choice. He said he didn’t want to come back if he couldn’t be whole and active like he had always been. He felt he had had a good life, and was complete with it.

And so it is… whatever it is for the person. Perfect in the choice.

Today, Stephanie reminds me that she (and we) can be a courageous hero for all of us. We bloggers who have people who love us, and think of us as family… visiting often or months at a time…it doesn’t matter. We are connected, deeply touching each other if only for a moment.

And, she and Christian are a tremendous example of true love. Oprah commented on how the studio audience responded to Christian and how he looked at Stephanie… love alive, fired in his eyes. As I watched, I could feel it too… his Presence was gentle, kind…so loving. What a gift to be so loved… what a love to come back to.

To give love like that…what a gift we all have to share, too. Thank you, Stephanie, for sharing your life, your courage, your love with all of us. Oprah and Oprah producers… thank you too!

Stephanie Nielson

Looking for a Dream Life: