Posts Tagged ‘Manifesting’
For more than a couple of months now, I’ve had this sparkly, surreal feeling while being in my house. I notice it most when I walk down the stairs. I feel as if I am extremely lucky to be living my life. I get the feeling of being inside of a dream…that I live in my dream home. I find that I look over to my office as I leave the stairs and I like what I see. I see the berry pink walls and the glitter, paints and my guitar on the wall. Then, I walk through to the downstairs living room and feel as if I am so lucky to be here.
A month or so ago, I walked down the stairs (feeling this way) and I walked through the living room to the kitchen. I could see the christmas lights twinkling through the living room window. The holly bushes that surround the back side of our pool are covered with small, white Christmas lights. Last year, after years of desiring that sparkle, I placed each strand on the tall bushes. Yet, on this evening, the lights meant that Chance and Mark were in the pool. I walked to the kitchen, feeling my feet against the tile floor and noticed that everything just seemed brighter, somehow richer. I felt drawn to the back door, so I pushed it open and walked out to the pool to watch them. Chance was screaming and carrying on…something I usually hear from inside. I felt happy inside – extremely happy. He and Mark were playing and I could see their pale bodies illuminated next to the pool light. Again, I noticed how everything seemed brighter somehow. The lights were brighter. The pool light was aglow.
I walked inside and started to go back upstairs. I had the distinct feeling of knowing I had created this experience. In that moment, the memory of how this house came to be came to mind. We were looking for a new house. We had an idea of how much we were willing to spend. This house was nearly $30,000 more than that. We had passed on it after the homeowner said he would not budge on the price. We kept looking. House after house made this one seem that much more appealing. I had felt when the homeowner initially said no it was because he had a date in mind when he would lower the price. We knew it was overpriced for the neighborhood. As we continued to look at other houses, I kept feeling that Mark really liked this house. I wanted him to have what he wanted. The last house was my idea.
Finally, one day, all of this built to a climax. While we were looking at another house, a messenger said to me, “If you want that other house, you must go now. There’s another couple coming and they are willing to pay full price.” I turned to our realtor and told her we wanted to go look at this house once more. As we stood in the kitchen that afternoon, I knew what number had to be on the paper for the owner (the husband) to say yes. We worked the numbers so that they worked for us and also showed him the number he must have said he ‘had’ to have before he could say yes. I asked Mark once again, “You are sure this is the house you like?” I had felt that this could be Mark’s turn to choose. I liked the house, I just didn’t care for the living room/kitchen area downstairs…it was galley style. A lifetime of living in apartments had left me not liking galley style areas. But, like Mark, I loved the yard and I loved the upstairs. Mark agreed. We turned in the paperwork, and the offer was accepted. Three days later, just as the messenger warned, another couple from out of state arrived and fell in love with the house (we were still in the option period). They were willing to pay full price – above market value.
This feeling of being ‘lucky’ – a word I prefer to fortunate, for some reason. It has a magical quality, this feeling and the word, a feeling of safety and security. I feel as if I navigate in this energy and it is here to remind me that creation is always available…just like it was when we created this house – our home.
The surreal feeling continues and the incidences keep coming to match this feeling. Wonderful synchronicities, amazing connections and I do feel as if I have entered a surreal existence – one where anything is effortlessly possible. I am so grateful! This is a whole new level of possibility for me… I’ve always felt anything is possible. This is an effortless feeling – beyond anything I’ve felt before.
And, perhaps, the joy this brings is why I so want others to experience it, too. I can’t wait to share my latest book with you.
How People Find Us.
- anything is possible
- law of attraction projects
About a year and three months ago, Mark and I went out to visit Dusty Rose (a.k.a. Mom). I had plans to take pictures and to help her set up her blog. This would be a surprise for her – my idea since I had signed up for a blog challenge and she had ‘wished’ she could, but she didn’t have a blog.
Like I had planned, I ran around and took photos. We went through a few thousand (or so it felt) WordPress themes, and finally found one she liked. With the blog set up, we started to write her ‘about’ page or her ‘bio.’ I traveled back in my mind to figure out the timeline… she moved out there when I had just graduated high school. My brother and step-brothers graduated from high school there. I estimated that she had been living her dream for about 24 years. I began writing her bio… “For more than two decades Dusty Rose has been living her country-fied dream of being an artist.” I finished the bio and gave it to my mother to read and edit.
She looked at it, and said (very matter of fact way), “I haven’t been doing my art that long.” I just looked at her like, “Mmmm, well, yes you have.” She said, “No, I haven’t.” And, I was like, “Remember, you lived out her and you worked for the state, and then after about five years of driving 120+ miles per day, you quit and started doing your art full-time?” It was odd to be arguing a timeline with the person who was supposed to have lived that timeline. She looked at my suspiciously, but then I started matching my own timeline to hers… I was married and then I was divorced (after nearly 8 years), single for four, and I’ve been married to Mark for 10, so… well, that’s more than 20 years!
She couldn’t believe it. She literally, in her mind, thought it had been about 10 years. Where does the time go?
And, that’s how our lives go. We dream. We create the dream. We live in the dream. Sometimes we forget to dream more – even when our world doesn’t really feel like a dream anymore.
I began to talk about how I remembered that her dream at the time was to quit her job and do her art full-time. She had, in fact, been living the dream for TWO decades! I began to say to her, “Mom, you are living the dream that you so desired many years ago. You are living the dream that MANY artists DREAM of… living out in the country, free to create as you wish, a full studio full of all kinds of art supplies, a big resource stash of reclaimed wood and metal at your disposal and a partner (my step dad) who can help you create anything!”
She nodded, but I could tell that she didn’t feel like this life was a dream.
I added, “Mom, if you don’t feel lucky to be living the life you are currently living, that just means you have an invitation to upgrade the dream. It’s time to dream a new dream.”
She listened, but I could tell she wasn’t sure that was really possible – perhaps, or even true.
All of this happened mid June 2010.
In late January of this year, I awoke to the idea to give my mom my treasured computer armoire. I called her and let her know I was ready to give it to her. The thing about my connection with my mother is that I’m extremely sensitive to her desires. If she needs help, I wake up feeling inspired to go help her. If she wants a new computer armoire, I wake up wanting to give her mine. This time, with the armoire, I could feel that she was ready for her own space. She had desires to have her OWN computer, her OWN desk and a yearning to have her OWN personal space. I see how easily my mom creates what she wants. I’ve always seen it – beyond the feelings of limitations, beyond the beliefs – and mostly because I’m usually part of the magnetic pull of her desires! A couple of months earlier she had said she would ‘pay’ me for my armoire if I was ready to get rid of it. I didn’t want her to pay me…at the same time, I wasn’t ready to let it go. About the same time she asked about the armoire, my step dad pulled Mark and me aside because he wanted to buy her a laptop and surprise her. Yes, her desires for personal space (she had been sharing a computer and desk with my step dad) were brewing.
Note… SHE did not go buy her computer, SHE did not go buy an armoire, SHE did not get someone to get her computer ready with all of the programs she needed. SHE did nothing but decide she wanted these things. The rest of us scurried around in the magnetic pull of her desire.
I believe that our conversation from June had been percolating… if you aren’t living your dream life, then what are you living?
When we arrived to deliver the armoire in February, we arrived to see my mom worked up. Not in a big way, but more in a way that was boiling under the surface. I walked right into the energy. I certainly wasn’t paying attention. All of a sudden, I took it all on. The anger. The frustration. The irritation. I began acting it out. Now, here’s the rub. I had been feeling similarly. Mark and I had had a long conversation on the way out to drop off the armoire. I was an energetic match.
Mark went to the store to get something. My step dad went to play Farmville. Mom and I headed out to her shop. I began to pay attention to what was bubbling up. I noticed a pattern in her that I also felt in me. It smacked of “I can’t because he wants something different from what I want.” I felt it with Mark. She felt it with her husband. I suggested four or five things, and every time she said, “I’ve been waiting on him to do it.” Soon, I could feel and notice the patterns. I was running the same patterns with my husband! Ack!
I harnessed the anger, the frustration, the irritation and declared, “Mom, if we aren’t living the lives of our dreams, then there’s only one reason… because we have not decided to! Let’s do it NOW – time to DECIDE!” I realized I had been holding myself back and making Mark my scapegoat. I saw the same in my mom. I had seen my step dad as someone who has always done what he could to give my mother what she desires. Same with Mark. He would do anything for me. What both she and I were bumping up against were our strong husbands who believe THEY know the best way for us to have what we desire. It wasn’t that they were trying to keep us from having what we want, it’s just that their way, their approach doesn’t necessarily feel good to us. We are both so sensitive, we tend to let things go instead of speaking up. We tend to dismiss, let go of things instead of making a big deal about it. However, in the process, we were mistaking this for ‘we can’t.’
Wow – what a HUGE a-ha! I knew it was time to shift this ancestral heritage. I knew I didn’t want to live this way anymore!
There we were sitting across from each other in my mother’s art studio. I started asking her, “Mom, what do you really, really want? No limits… what do you want?” As she spoke, I began to listen energetically…asking new questions as they came to me. Soon, she had her manifestation set. She was complete.
I’ll share tomorrow what has happened since then. It’s a GREAT story… I LOVE creation!
Yesterday, I shared an intimate view of how I work through limiting beliefs… for myself and with clients. It’s so much easier to spot the not with others! LOL
I had thought about what was shared and thought about some other perspectives that may not be as readily apparent.
For me… I truly feel like (in my heart) that we are all one (this is the reason Mark challenged me when I wasn’t acting like it)…when I am in bliss, I can hardly see the lines between us. It took me many years to figure out where ‘I’ began and ended energetically. When I give to another… I know that somewhere out in the cosmos, I’m being given to, and always in the moment as well.
This is trust at the highest level… letting go of the need to accumulate and ‘hold’ whatever it is you desire. Like the birds…they go, they have. Peace Pilgrim did it, too, to be a model of what is possible when we walk in peace and unity.
I remember when I was younger, before I learned to ‘force’ to ‘get’ what I wanted. Now, I look back and have to laugh at how I truly had everything given to me. I started playing tennis in 7th grade. That started out because I wanted to get out of gym class first period. Ugh! Can you imagine? Sweaty by first period? Adolescence? YUCK! This is the clearest memory I have of ‘figuring’ something out on my own instead of doing what I normally did – ask and follow. However, regardless of how forceful I ever became, my intuition always assisted.
I started by asking to change gym classes. The response – “no.” Then, I started asking if there was anything else I could do. I had made a decision to get out of that first period gym class – that’s for sure. But, then what? I went to the guidance counselor and she explained that if everyone wanted to change then it would be chaos. She made it sound like the city would crumble down if a bunch of 7th graders were given what they wanted. Hmmm, there’s got to be a way. Force –fully engaged.
During one gym class, a coach – the tennis coach – came to tell us about her sport. She was recruiting. I raised my hand, “What period is JV tennis?” The answer? Third period – right before lunch. I reasoned I would have until after lunch to get showered and ready for 4th period. I thought, there’s my ticket out of here!
Turns out I was pretty good at tennis. My love for the sport propelled me through high school. I eventually became the varsity team captain. Oh, and the wonderful reward? SIXTH PERIOD because once I got to THIRD PERIOD JV, I realized this was just a delay in my first period misery. Ah, force. The trappings of thinking you know what’s best for you!
Tennis, as you probably know, is a very expensive sport. VERY expensive. My mom did not have the funds for my new love. My grandmother shouldered most of the burden, but I see now that I attracted every experience I ever desired. I played at the local country clubs. I played at TCU. I won expensive equipment. I could never have ‘figured out’ how to ‘get’ these things… they came to me from sheer desire to have the experience. Each came in their own extraordinary way – even hitting balls at TCU a few courts down from Martina Navratilova! What a thrill.
The ‘work’ for what you want came in with the country clubs that were just given. Who could tell what was what? I decided I could handle the clothes part, thank you. And there it was… my first job at 13. Still, it was the best job for me… sleeping for a living. You can’t quite get away from what you are. I did… babysat at night by sleeping! Oh, sure, there was plenty of force right along with this as my teenage mind was driven to get what I want. I begged my grandmother for tennis clothes. Looking back on it, the guilt wasn’t worth it. I wanted the best, but we didn’t have a budget for the best. Every day I wore those clothes I got from force, I felt guilty for the money that went to pay for them.
Looking back, I see so clearly that my focus was on the experience I wanted to have in the areas where I could not figure out how something would happen. It was not on buying the things that would give me my experiences. This 20/20 hindsight is 20+ years in the making. I had it all along. Yet, I can see the differences in those things I had NO IDEA how to get vs. those I thought I did (like clothes). Had I been focused on ‘getting’ a country club membership, my journey would have been way different! I just wanted to play. I just wanted to go where my friends played. I wanted to see what it was like. Were the courts better like they said? My curiosity took me many places. Over and over again… delight to go and be part of something new.
Yes, we are all connected…and certainly, if you have the desire, you can have it.
Yesterday, as the sun went down, Mark and I sat in the back by the pool talking about his business, talking about my next project (at least one book about manifesting and the principles of creation), talking about marketing and what we see clients doing and also moving to a new house. The conversation was like many between long-time married couples who drift easily from subject to subject without transitions – a seeming long list of ‘to-dos’ that we will work together to create.
In the middle of the conversation, the subject of ‘we’ and ‘my’ came up. I tend to say ‘we’ for many things, and ‘my’ for ‘my projects.’ He always gives me a hrrrmph when I do that because he says it is ‘ours.’ This bone of contention ran through my business years, too, as he would say ‘our’ clients when ‘I’ was the one doing the work, ‘I’ was the one dealing with the personalities that came along with the work, ‘I’ was the one that was doing all of the administrivia and on and on. I didn’t feel that his occasional run to FedEx with me in tow at 9:45 PM to mail a client’s project ‘counted’ enough to be ‘partners’ and the business, as I saw it, certainly was not ‘ours’ though the money from it was shared willingly and freely for all those years I had it.
Yesterday, in the lap of our backyard with the blue pool at our feet, surrounded by the roses and holly berries with me maybe eight or so years wiser, I let my guard down around the subject and opened my mind to consider what he may be seeing or feeling.
I feel at ‘one’ in nearly every other area and expression in my life – Why not this one? Why is it that I feel the need to stake claim?
As we peeled back the layers, I finally said, “Well, I’m the author of this creation – that’s why it is mine.”
He replied, to what was already streaming through my mind, “Why is it that you are always fine with being about ‘oneness’ and it takes all of us to get to where we are going, and you TEACH this, but when it comes to your writing you act like it’s all yours?”
I have to admit…I didn’t know why. I just had this feeling in the pit of my stomach – a perceived truth to his words.
Then, he said, “You just don’t get it. Everything is all of ours.”
He began to give me a list of things he does to make my writing life possible. He listens. He responds to me when I ask, “Does this make sense to you?” He cooks my meals (and always has). He brings me coffee in the morning.
I can do all of those things for myself I reasoned. They are nice, but I don’t have to have them. But to write! There’s so much to do… listening and listening and gathering the drops as they come in, and the putting them on paper – actually getting them out of my consciousness and into this world! There’s work to do!
I jumped to something that came to me in my inner defense… “I have no need to claim anything you are working on. Your business is your business. I enjoy helping you and I don’t need to be considered a ‘part’ of it. I give freely.” There it was…separation. This time I couldn’t ignore it.
“Maybe that’s true, but you are. What’s mine is yours and what’s yours is mine.”
I bristled. “But you aren’t the one doing the work to write and to reflect and to collect all of these little messages that are coming in all day every day!” I exclaimed.
Then he said it. “Writing is easy for you. You write books like some people write articles. It just flows out of you like water.”
I swallowed hard because it was true – at least that part was true. And, somehow coming out of his mouth in actual words I felt like it discounted the process – the writing. That maybe it is too easy.
We drifted to another topic content to agree to somewhat disagree and somewhat to agree.
Later that night, I realized the writing IS easy for me…like breathing. I listen and follow. The structural part is more challenging. Putting myself out there even more so. The facing the business aspect from my true core as a creative soul has been the greatest challenge – even though I know what to do! I know how to run a business. I know how to grow businesses, but when I’m in my creative heart, I tend to be like other creative souls.
Our conversation simmered in the back of my mind. Something Mark said to me, “At the end of the day, Tina, you can’t be like everyone else. You can’t just forget that you have a business mind in there somewhere. That’s what makes you different, and what won’t allow you to just let things go.”
I wondered, Is that true? I remembered the feeling when he said it – solid as a rock. True.
This morning, as I ready myself to write. I see now what is at the core of all of this. Magically, it’s what is at the core of everything else around me right now, too. It’s about work. Who does the work?
Whomever does the work is the one that owns something. The belief that has been the fly in the ointment for far too long.
Wow, what an outdated notion. Puritanical for sure. A rush of thoughts comes to mind in this moment. I used to argue that an executive’s wife deserved as much out of a relationship because the person behind that person contributed as much to the creation as the one who actually goes out in the world and ‘does the work.’ So Mark is right…about me.
Funny how beliefs work. We can consciously think one thing and be running and living another.
I do believe in oneness… this is how I write – in response to what others are asking for. Yes, I’m the messenger, but the message is not mine. Like a baker who bakes a cake with flour and eggs and milk…the farmer, the land and many sun-filled days brought the flour, the chicken sent the eggs and cows lent the milk. Even those who ensured the chickens ate everyday contributed, the delivery people who took these to market… and every step in between… who sent water to the field? Who ensured the water pipes were laid? On and on and on in an infinite circle of creation… and, with me? If there were no questions for others, no desires for what I am writing… well, I would be a messenger without a message to deliver.
I remembered how when I first started writing – back in elementary – I used to think, Is this writing? I’m just listening and writing down what comes to me. Is this cheating?
This has affected me my entire life, but until today I didn’t know why. It doesn’t ‘seem’ like work, and true to this belief that has been driving this part of me (the one who does the work owns it), how could I lay ‘claim’ to something if it wasn’t ‘work’ if ‘work’ is the only thing valued? I would, based on this belief, create more ‘work’ – ouch!
Time to let this one go.
Wow. I feel free.
On Christmas Day, I shared an idea with a friend. I thought of the idea several weeks ago and had enjoyed all that it meant since then.
The idea was this…There’s a place in the world for EVERYONE, just as they are, exactly as they are, in the love they are!
Not a new idea by any stretch, but my focus was on the new show, Oddities, which airs on the Discovery Channel. The show dives into the weird world of strange and extraordinary science artifacts through the eyes of the proprietors of Manhattan’s Obscura Antiques & Oddities.
Of course, you all know I’m FASCINATED by PEOPLE from all walks of life, so I found myself GLUED to the screen taking in this whole new world I had no idea even existed!
When I consulted with business owners to help them grow their firms, I would always tell them not to worry about all the people who were not their clients and focus on serving those who were.
Later when I started coaching with people on their various dreams, I would say the same thing. Looking for love? Focus on love, don’t worry about all the people who don’t love you.
As I watched Oddities, I saw this woman (the owner, Evan) who was absolutely in LOVE with oddities, antiques and artifacts. She married a guy who was also in LOVE with the same passion. Now, she serves her clients who are OBSESSED with oddities, antiques and artifacts.
Proof positive that you CAN be who you are and be the LOVE you are and do it in your OWN UNIQUE WAY that fills you with PASSION (not to mention profits) each and every day.
As I shared this story and remarked at how wonderfully divine the Universe is and how abundant we are to be able to be fully expressed no matter what – if we only dare – I found myself going on and on about the people I had seen on the show. At one point, I felt I was really going OVERBOARD since I had left my original point – we can be the love we are exactly as we are. I had drifted over into the territory of talking about the people on the show.
At one critical moment, another part of me said, “What are you creating here? What is your focus?”
I noticed this thought came as I went on and on about this one particular person who was searching for a monkey skull (really!), and I stopped myself and moved on to another subject.
The next morning, I puttered around in my office, and Mark walked in rather hesitantly. And said, “Wow, this is so weird…” He said it in the exact same way I kept talking about the monkey skull. I asked him, “What’s weird?”
Then he showed me this photo and said, “This was outside by the back door underneath the swing.”
He went on to say, “What’s even weirder is how did it get there? We have a 12-foot high fence!”
I looked at the photo and all of what I’ve shared here came back to me…that moment when another part of me was asking, “What are you creating?” And, here it is…my manifestation. It’s not a monkey skull, but it is definitely a match!
We all know to ‘watch our words’…it’s Manifesting 101. And, yet, as we move toward the New Year, it’s always a good time to review the basics! YOU are powerful…your words to God’s ear as they say. Be sure to whisper the ones you want to see in your life!
Watch your words…and thoughts…consider, with each one…What are you focusing on? What are you creating? Would you like for it to show up at your back door?
How People Find Us.
- obscura owners married
- obscura antiques and oddities