Queen of Dreams Radio
Posts Tagged ‘Love’
When I am out and I see posters at the post office reminding us when Mother’s Day is, I typically think of my mother. I have never really thought of myself as ‘mother’ as Chance had a little phase when he called me mother or mom, but went back to ‘mommy,’ which, for some reason, I resonate with even more.
When I think about what it took to bring me to a true “Mommy’s Day,” I remember the nearly five years of infertility and drugs to rock my body to produce eggs that might have a chance to turn into a baby. I think of the countless shots and blood tests I went through. I think of sitting in my bosses office sobbing during a hormone-induced meltdown and confiding that I was full of hormones trying to get pregnant. I felt so out of control of my body. I felt embarrassed, too.
I also remember when I gave up on the whole thing. I just thought, “If my body doesn’t want to get pregnant right now, there must be a reason.” I let it go, and a year and a half later I woke up one morning knowing that I would divorce my husband. I believe our souls are wise and they direct the body, too.
Four years later, I met Mark on December 17, 1999. Just over a year later, we welcomed Chance into the world.
Both Mark and I were told the ‘odds’ of having a baby were slim to none, but there we were having our miracle baby – easily and effortlessly.
That baby is now 10 years old, and he has been running around whispering, giggling and planning for “Mother’s Day.”
How sweet life is!
Happy Mother’s Day to all Mothers, Moms, Mommies out there!
Last Friday, Miss Debbie and I were having lunch at a favorite Mexican food restaurant near downtown Plano. As we chatted, she grew quite serious as she said, “I read one of your blog posts last week and I have something to say.”
I knew exactly what she was going to say, and was ready for it.
She said, “You wrote about the conference again and I just wanted to scream!”
I agreed. I had felt that way when I trekked back over into that place.
She said, “I mean, I get that it could be helpful to others going through that, but enough is ENOUGH!”
What Miss Debbie meant was that I have been talking about my ‘failure’ in my ‘visionary’ conference for nearly five years (next month will be its five-year-anniversary). I had asked her to ‘tell me’ when she saw anything on my blog that didn’t seem like ‘me’ as part of a BFF ‘truth pact’ we made several months ago. I realize that we all have many parts of us and those who love us can spot us leaving our ‘truth’ faster than anyone can.
She was sounding the alert for me last week on this ‘enough’ of talking about the failure stuff.
I giggled because I could barely wait to share with her what had happened after the posts. And, this, now, I want to share with you, too.
Nearly six weeks before, I had come home from visiting friends and felt a compulsion to start way back in my life and share the ‘road’ I have traveled. I had no idea why, but there was so much energy moving in me, I decided to trust it. For those of you who read my blog regularly, you know that I wrote for nearly two weeks on how ‘far’ I have traveled to ‘let go’ and ‘come home.’
Then, an interesting thing happened on the way to the end of the story…I had a life-changing dream.
In my dream, I was hired to set up a circus for a client. I was charged with hiring clowns for the circus, and wanting only the best for my client, I hired Cirque du Soleil! In my dream, the families came to the carnival and then I realized that I had hired clowns that cost too much money! At first, I was so afraid of the error, and then the part of me that has been ‘absent’ since the conference came in and I thought (in the dream), “Well, whether I need to pay them back on an installment plan for the next 10 years, we’ll figure it out because everything always works out!”
In the dream, the clowns arrived too early, and I realized that there would not be time for them to perform the entire act because the kids had to leave early to get to bed. The whole carnival seemed to be a ‘debacle’ (just like the conference, and the conference was ‘too early’ also in the eyes of others who felt I had ‘seen’ way too far ahead). But, still, the part of me that is sure, that knows, was right there in my dream not worried at all about anything. I was sure everything will work out one way or another.
While we waited for the clowns to go on, I went to go swimming in a bay nearby. I swam with a man and a woman under the full moon. The water felt refreshing and I swam away my concerns about the clowns, the money and the debacle. As I swam, I looked over and saw an enormous great white shark. I saw its fin first and then I noticed its massive body under the ink black water. In my dream, I did not feel afraid at all. And, I nonchalantly told the man and woman to quit splashing along and just to float in the current. I said, “Let the shark swim and take us out with her.”
The man did not listen and the shark moved stealthily underneath the woman and me and ate the man. I still was unafraid. In fact, I felt comforted by the massive animal. I felt this animal would devour anything that came near me, and I felt so grateful for its presence.
When I woke from this dream, I felt free. I felt safe. I felt protected. And, most importantly, I felt I was back. The part of me that ‘left’ was back. I felt thrilled, excited and happy!
And, this is also why it has been difficult to go back and continue with the energy (and the blog posts) that brought this dream…the dream was the finale, of sorts, to that active energy inside of me.
Miss Debbie acknowledged the dream and said, “Okay, but enough!”
And, I couldn’t agree with her more. Enough.
When I looked up Shark Medicine, this is what I found. Interesting? You decide!
Its role is survival. Its lesson is forgiveness (in my case…of the self). Its theme reclaiming innocence (for me, this is returning to my natural essence so there is no demarcation of ‘before’ the conference Tina and ‘after’ the conference Tina… there’s just the I that I am).
Additionally, Shark Medicine brings protection, which I felt so powerfully in the dream. There was no doubt in my mind that this animal would devour anything that might come to harm me. A large part of the failure had to do with one person, in particular, and, yes, just like in the dream, he was a man that continued to flail about!
The Shark offers the power of protection to those who resonate to it. In the course of our life’s learning we can attract events and people that are disharmonious. When there is something in your life that you need to frighten away call upon the shark to help you. Working with shark medicine gives you the power and confidence to drive off the negative.
I believe in the power of dreams because my own experience with transformational dreams is that I literally am not the same again…I am transcended with the energies. I share these deeply personal experiences to invite you into your own dream experiences.
And, thanks to Miss Debbie, BFF truth teller!
One thing I know for sure…I will NEVER forget the energy of this shark totem. Love knows no bounds. That shark felt like a part of me.
Looking for a Dream Life:
I’ve had the opportunity to talk to several people who have been reading my praises for The King’s Speech, and each one has asked me, “What exactly is it that you see in this story?” No doubt they can feel my enthusiasm floating off of each blog post, but perhaps I haven’t communicated all that I felt from this movie…a great story of triumph!
As I watched the Oscars last night, I truly felt the presence of love as Colin thanked Olivia for being in his life…not unlike Sandra Bullock’s heartfelt tribute the year before to her husband at the time, Jesse James, which I believe was as real as anything regardless of what happened afterward – that moment was true. Natalie Portman, in love with love growing in her belly, also swept the big awards this year.
I asked Mark, “Have you ever noticed how people who are in love seem to leap to greater heights?” Perhaps I put two seemingly random connection points together, but it made me think about my own life and how when Mark and I first met everything seemed to bloom … it seemed like nothing would not grow in that energy. I had never known unconditional love like that before…it buoyed my spirit (I’ll share more thoughts on this and how love grows deeper over time in another post).
Great love…that’s what I see when I watch The King’s Speech. I see a man who stutters who has great love for his children, his wife, his country, but he does not yet have that great love for himself. Enter two others who bring heavy-duty mirrors to show him the love he is…to assist him in reclaiming his voice. Lionel (his speech therapist and friend) brings tough love and the unrelenting challenge of pushing the would-be King to be all that he already is. Elizabeth, the Duke’s wife, will not give up on love or on her husband. Her love holds space for the love the Duke already is to grow. In her Presence, he can bloom…and that is just like what I see in these actors…they bloom, grow more vibrant in the swirl of love. The King found his voice and acceptance (a.k.a. love) for himself through love – both friendship and deep romantic love as well as the love of his children. In so many ways, it is the most perfect example of ‘love conquers all.’
The saying, “Behind every great man is a woman no one knows,” and every other version of it seems to say that a great man is great and the woman is unknown, but the truth is without the woman, the man likely would not have been great. And so I see this, too, in The King’s Speech. In our day and age, there are as many men standing behind a woman, loving them…seeing them. Both necessary, equally as critical to the whole. Click on the image below to go to a great clip of “Elizabeth” in this stunning movie!
Looking for a Dream Life:
Beverly lives in snowy Canada where it has been snowing for months already. She wrote this just a few days ago.
I was rushing to leave Wal-Mart when I saw it … or maybe I should say I felt it. Just inside the store doors I was drawn like a powerful magnet to this scene, and had they not been so intensely focused, they might have noticed me having stopped and intently starring at them … taking in every instant of the BEAUTIFUL Love that was flowing through, and all around, them.
There were three. Dad, Grandma and the third was a Cherub … well, let us say in more ordinary terms, a gorgeous baby boy, probably about 10 months old. He had been Christmas shopping with his loving Guardian Angels, and now his bright royal blue snowsuit was being donned to keep him warm on the way home this wintery evening! Grandma was doing the dressing, while Dad held the Cherub!
What was so extraordinary about this seemingly ordinary scene? Two things especially will always remain in my heart …
The Love that poured from Grandma’s eyes felt almost palpable as she donned that small blue snowsuit on her precious Grandson! Was it my imagination? Was she in the beauty of this present moment but also somewhere, back thirty five years or so, dressing her own infant son, who now towered before her, in a little blue coat to protect him from the cold? This scene of pure never-ending Love etched itself indelibly on my heart, and then, I saw another …
It nestled in beside the first, not only etching itself upon my heart, but filling me with a deep sense of peace … the peace that comes from truly knowing the eternal nature of Love …
Was this also my imagination? It seemed that this towering grown man, so lovingly holding his infant son, for a few brief (but eternal) moment was small again, reveling once more in his Mother’s precious unconditional Love. Quickly, however, he returned to his role as grown up and parent, but not before momentarily turning his head to the side (perhaps so no one might see his heart shining from his eyes) in so touching a gesture as, ever so briefly, he seemed to be embracing the Love within and all around him.
Might that fleeting look upon his adult face have said, “I am grown now, yet the Love I knew all the while I grew, remains, remains the same, and my adult Heart is full, as full as was my child Heart. I am at peace.” And then, out the doors into the blustery night they went … snowsuits, but most importantly, hearts full of Love keeping them warm.
Why do I cherish this brief encounter so? Perhaps because that same fleeting look upon the face of my grown Son has also filled my Heart, and I was reminded, with such awe and gratitude, of the indescribable preciousness of Love … Love that reaches across all time and into eternity.
Soon, on Christmas Day, we will be celebrating another awe-inspiring story of the Love of Mother and Child, a story that miraculously birthed the wondrous Love that now encircles our beautiful planet Earth, uplifting all who feel such Love with the blessings of Peace Hope and Joy!
Wishing You and Your Loved Ones a Blessed Christmas and Holiday Season Overflowing with Love, Peace, Hope and Joy Beverly…
Looking for a Dream Life:
I feel SO grateful! Yesterday started out as one of those days I tried to schedule in three times as many errands as humanly possible. Soon I realized all would not all fit into one day, and something had to go. Reluctantly I gave up my planned trip to Michaels Arts and Craft Store (my sweet Sister-in-Crafting, Tina, will understand how difficult this was). Not only was I giving up my chance to delight at the aisles upon aisles of pure sparkling inspiration in this wonder-full store, but I was foregoing the exceptional timed special offer of 30% off my entire purchase.
Teeth tightly clenched, off I went to do the other errands, finally accomplished just before 9:00 p.m. “Now”, I said to myself , “let me just slip into Michaels for a just few minutes before they close,” thinking a few minutes is better than not at all, even though I had missed the 30% special.
In I went and got lost in Creators’ Heaven amongst the sparkling rhinestones, beads, decoupage papers and so many, many delights. A few things had found their way into my shopping cart when I realized it was much past 9:00 p.m. and the store was still filled with customers! Enquiring, I discovered the store was open until 10:00 p.m. … just enough time for me to explore to my heart’s content! GRATITUDE !!! My little ‘sacrifice,’ earlier in the day, had been so unexpectedly rewarded.
When I went to the cash register (right at 10 p.m.), what, to my surprise, did I find? My entire order was reduced by 30% after all … the timed special had so generously been extended until closing! GRATITUDE again!!!
I live in Canada, but today, alongside all my brothers and sisters who are celebrating Thanksgiving , I am grateful for so much … so much it feels as if it could take forever to list all that is in my heart! Whether you are reading this on Thanksgiving Day or any day of the year, I wish you so much JOY as you wrap all that means the most to you in loving blanket of gratitude!
This verse from Matthew came to my mind this morning and so re-enforces the Miracle Message (of Love) received in Michaels … “Therefore I tell you, do not be anxious about your life, what you will eat or what you will drink, nor about your body, what you will put on. Is not life more than food, and the body more than clothing? Look at the birds of the air: they neither sow nor reap nor gather into barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them … Consider the lilies of the field, how they grow: they neither toil nor spin, yet I tell you, even Solomon in all his glory was not arrayed like one of these…
Shared with You with Love, Beverly…
