She was big and fluffy and flew in my patio door as if she had a mission. I believe she did. She was your typical storybook bumble bee … round and soft … her beautiful stripes making her appear even rounder…

“Hello Darling” … I said to her matter-of-factly …   "I am sorry but you don’t belong inside … you must fly back outside,” and with those words she did just that; back out the open door she flew and  was gone from sight … but never from memory.

She did have a mission I believe … a mission to get me buzzing on my mission …

My mission?

Simply to BE … (hereon in referred to as BEE ) …

Almost immediately after her brief but impact-full visit,  many messages, all translating into  “BE WHO YOU ARE”,  began to arrive … including, of course, Tina’s radio shows, blog posts and her very vivid dream about the bees she was literally breathing like Life breathe! Who wouldn’t take note of THAT powerful image ?

What comes to me as the crux of this matter is … let us not deny the truth who we BEE, for who we BEE truly matters, both in our individual lives and in the Divine plan for the collective evolution and unfoldment of all Life.

Although BEE-ing who we truly BEE may sound like a simplistic modus operendum, perhaps Life is meant to be simple … but … a lived full-out- every-moment- kind of simple … not a half-lived life by a small part of who we truly are … that is not it at all…

I, you, we are not to be wasted … even the  tiniest aspect of our BEE-ing is too precious to be wasted. We might ask ourselves, “who am I to BEE this or to BEE that”; however, at this time in human history, we are clearly seeing we must ask ourselves instead, “ who am I to not BEE all that I BEE as a miraculous aspect of, and co-creator with, Creation itself.

Does the Lily think herself to weary fill the air with her precious fragrance ~ no ~ by evening, her fragrance flows even more sweetly into the night air. Does the humming bird fear the limitless sky is too large for its tiny wings to navigate ~ no ~ it not only fearlessly flies forward,  it flies backwards, up, down, sideways, even upside down! Although amongst the smallest living bird species, the hummingbird’s maneuverability in the sky outperforms that of a giant helicopter.

My saddest times have been when precious Life moments were wasted in anger, fear, worry or doubt. Very human emotions, indeed, so why would they evoke such deep soul sadness? Clearly the answer emerges ~ anger, fear, worry and doubt are not the truth of who I BEE, and being estranged from my Soul’s own truth is, at a foundational level, the greatest sadness I experience.

Okay then, pretty simple isn’t it? Commit to honor and simply BEE the Truth of Me, which is Love, which is the Truth of All Things. With that my Soul breathes a huge sigh of relief. Just BEE ME. Can that BEE so difficult? It cannot BEE. Alright then,

IN THIS MOMENT I FREE ME TO BEE … IN LOVE AND JOY AND HARMONY…

SO BEE IT

May Your Every Moment BEE

BEE-YOU-TI-FULL!!!

Shared with You With Love Beverly

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A few months ago, I went to see Ellany, my friend and gal pal, because we planned to go get ‘makeovers.’

I can’t remember the specifics of how the comment came up when Ellany said, “I see you. When you have your make-up on, and are dressed in your girly shoes and dresses, I know that’s you. It’s SO you.”

There’s something about your truth that grabs you in the throat and heart and gut all at the same time. I blinked many times quickly so that I wouldn’t let the tears rushing from my throat to escape. I wondered, ‘Why does this touch me so deeply?’

I thought about that moment many times in the following weeks, wondering what it was that she could see and others haven’t. It reminded me of something Sonia Choquette said in one of the workshops I attended with her many years ago…I see you is the highest form of love. The truth is…I felt loved in that moment…to the depths of my soul.

It’s so easy for us to ‘see’ people’s flaws, their insecurities, their foibles, their mistakes and, sadly, I believe most people think this IS people’s truth – who they are. I know, FOR SURE, it isn’t. I have not met one person yet who doesn’t have a brimming, brightly-lit soul full of beauty and love. When we focus on people’s ‘ick,’ we energize it. When we focus on their truth, we energize it. What cuts to the negative, can just as easily cut to the positive. To see the love a person is – deep inside…that takes seeing with your heart. Looking with loving eyes.

I remember when I wrote my second book, I had many people telling me that I wasn’t this or wasn’t that. My agent at the time said I was “serious,” not whimsical and child-like like my book. She said my book was too “playful” and wasn’t “serious” enough. At the time, I was struggling to determine exactly who I was. I had been so good at being whatever I needed to be in any moment, the “me” that I am got lost along the way. My agent’s pressing words forced me to look to see what was real – what a gift!

I thought to myself, ‘Well, I can be TOO serious, but my heart, my spirit is playful. This is as “me” as it gets! I am the QUEEN OF POSSIBILITIES!!! It takes a childlike viewpoint of ANYTHING IS POSSIBLE to show up like this!’  I realized, too, that she identified with my business consultant side, which, in our experience together, had been dead serious, because her situation had required it…I showed up in the energy of ‘let’s MOVE’ because that is what the situation called for – dead serious, every moment counts, we must turn this ship around NOW!

The truth is, we all have EVERYTHING inside of us. Every facet, every aspect is waiting for us to express it, as needed. Our ‘expression’ is a blend of those facets we access most often. My entire inner (and outer) life is playing a game. If I shared how many games I have created for myself since I was a little girl, you would see that, to me, life is a big game to play. I make up games to get projects done. I make up games to clean the house. I even teach my inner games to others who just might like to play this way, too. And, just like playing a board game, the gamut of emotions are there too…serious, playful, competitive, concerned and more.

Anyone who knows me knows that I laugh a LOT…and bring a playfulness to serious things such as depression, being stuck, fear and the gamut of other human emotions we encounter along the way. I have lightened up along the way as I have discovered the game isn’t dead-serious. Do I act like I’m at the circus each day? No way – I’m playful, not a clown. One of the things I’m known for is bringing a “you can do this” attitude everywhere I go. However, I can bring a fire starter if people want it. I can bring an edge, too; however, it isn’t my preferred energy. I enjoy being laid-back, on-point and playful. Why do we need to be so SERIOUS all of the time??? Can’t we just do what we love and love the experience, including those we are serving?

That day, in the reflection of Ellany’s eyes and words, I felt that she saw me… my spirit… my truth. And, that is about as good as life gets. Pure magic! Thank you, Ellany!

Tigers…playful and yet dead-serious!

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Friday, I went to Minette’s house for an art playdate. I felt so excited because I knew we were going to do a ‘thank you’ video for Violette because her online class, Journal Bliss, literally gave us 5 months of art-full play! I highly recommend grabbing a friend and getting one of her classes (Violette’s energy gave us a creative confidence boost and inspired us!).

While we created the video, I looked over and saw one of Minette’s Zentangle gift cards. She has made many of these over the last year or so (and they are all GORGEOUS), and last year, even invited me to a Zentangle class where I was introduced to this thoughtful, meditative creative expression.

As I looked at the card, I felt myself drawn to the card itself. I liked the idea of small creations that I could start and finish and know they are ‘done.’

When I came home, I had some other projects to finish for work and I deliberately chose to take a day off from school. I felt pulled to more art, and so I grabbed my watercolors and started painting.

As I painted, I thought of those cards again. I really wanted some. I thought, I wish I had some of those cards. I painted in my watercolor notebook and thought of different things I could paint on those cards. I have always said “I wish” ever since I was a little girl. I wish works as fast and as magically for me as anything. But, last night I was not even thinking of manifesting the cards when I said it, I was simply expressing what I most wanted from my heart.

I finished painting, put up my palette book and paints, and then played a game with Mark and Chance.

As the evening went on, I felt drowsier and drowsier, so I went to bed and quickly drifted off to sleep. The cards were a distant thought and memory.

Today, I woke up and got right back at my school work, but I couldn’t force myself to get going. Instead, I wandered outside and talked to the plants and birds. I fed our mama and daughter mockingbirds as they chirped nearby. I felt the breeze on my skin as I listened to the chimes gonging in the background. I looked at the color of the sun on the surface of the pool water, and noticed the sun trying to poke through the foliage above me. I soaked up the warm rays and felt them pelting against my pale skin.

I thought I might be able to read outside, but I couldn’t. The energies didn’t match up and I felt myself wishing to just relax, to enjoy this abnormal 70s weather in May and to take time out. So I did. I put the books aside and just enjoyed the rhythm of nature complete with the smell of mint nearby.

I walked inside to get some water and met Mark’s mom coming in from the front. She excitedly exclaimed, “Look what I got for you!” And, there, in her hands were two brand new boxes of Strathmore (one of my most FAVORITE papers) greeting cards…100 cards total! I am amazed at how fast things come to me when I wish from the depths of my heart…my dreamer’s desires. She has been saying that she wants to paint and draw, and with all of this schoolwork on the intellectual plane, she has been throwing tantrums! I have been keeping my promise to her to draw, paint and play at least twice a week. Yesterday, Minette and I only had 30 minutes, so I knew more painting was in store for me. And, now, I’ll do more Zentangling, too. Thank you, Nana, for being the messenger.

I wish… Please send… I ask for… whatever way you ask, ask and expect to receive it!

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Thanks to all of you who sent emails about kicking the sugar habit. I am going to share more details here and answer some of your questions.

Most wanted to know ‘how’ this works now, or more specifically, what am I going to ‘do’ differently now.

First, the ‘reason’ this was so huge is that when I originally thought that sugar was a ‘no’ category, this created tremendous resistance around it. I literally felt like an alcoholic with it in that I could put it down for periods of time, but when I would pick it up again, I felt powerless to say no. I’ve heard people say that if they start in the morning with sugar, they want it all day long, for instance.

Now, to know that I reach for it primarily for anxiety, which is fear of the future/projected pain in the future, I can simply be aware of this and move back to the present. In this moment, I can take an action instead of triggering my lifelong habit and checking out again. When we are under the spell of habits, often we reach for them so quickly that we lose our conscious choice to do something different.

As I have allowed my mind to wander with this new epiphany, other thoughts came to me. My childhood abuse involved sweets…a reward of sorts. Children’s taste buds change around 7 and 8, and children naturally like sugar more when their taste buds change. My stepfather at the time was part deaf from working on airplanes for a living without proper headgear, and his voice boomed through the house startling my brother and me. We were terrified of talking in front of him, and for a long time, would whisper our requests into my mother’s ear.

Action has always been my safe haven. When I am moving, I feel empowered. I may not know all the details of where I am going, but I know I will be guided in the moment.

Fear trips a wire within each one of us and we choose fight, flight or freeze. When I was little, I would fight. As I grew older, I learned that fighting was not ‘acceptable’ at school, at home, with friends so I started to run away. By the time I hit my 20s, I realized running away was only prolonging the pain. However, I can readily see that I freeze on the big decisions in my life. I knew a year and a half into my first marriage I wanted to leave, and it took nearly 7 more years and 80 lbs. before I did it. I did the same thing again with switching careers. Oh, yes, I moved and did take action, but not in a proactive, empowered way.

I believe in the power of awareness so much because I realize that awareness offers us a key into the Self we truly are. Awareness offers us a gift to speak our truth and to live it, too.

What I will do differently now…I’ll use the tools I share with clients to acknowledge my fears, form an intention in alignment with what I most want to create and then come back to the present and take inspired action. The searing burn I felt on my left side the last two weeks held old energy, which I cleared. I often say…expand first unless you can’t keep moving. If you are stuck, clear and then begin again with a new intention.

The teacher teaches what she most needs to learn and remember!

Today, I wish for you love and peace in your heart.

I wish for you to know how much you are loved, to feel the love you have for yourself and others rushing back at you.

I wish for you to know how special you are, how undeniably unique you are.

I wish you could see yourself like God sees you. I wish you could feel God’s love for you…as you are, right now.

And, I wish you could live this version of your truth every day.

Happy Valentine’s Day everyone…love you!

Tina

Today is Self Love Day. And, boy has it been a long road for me to come to know Self Love for myself.

Back in 2007, my radio show was new. I followed guidance to create the show and felt like I had no idea why.

I invited a woman to be on my show and it seemed like no matter what we did, it just was not destined to be. At the time, I had an actual producer who worked the recording of my show. He had no idea why the show did not record. There was literally no reason for an technical malfunction.

To me, it seemed that working to accommodate this woman’s schedule was a lot of effort. It felt hard. It felt forced. Yet there I was trying to do it. The first show didn’t record, but I plunged ahead.

The day we planned to pre-record the show, I juggled many responsibilities. My mother-in-law needed a ride to the hospital and I was the only one available that day. I figured if I could drive just a little faster and still get her to the hospital and get back for the show, despite not having one second to be delayed.

What happened that morning would change my life. It was the day I decided I had had enough.

That morning, I packed Chance and my mother-in-law into the car. I planned to speed. I planned to push the limits of my time that morning. I did not ask for help. I thought I can do this.

But something didn’t feel right that morning, and it set me on edge. I have sped before, but this tension had my intuition on high alert. I pushed the Tahoe to go faster as my heart pounded underneath. I began to think about jeopardizing our safety. Pound…pound…pound my heart thumped.

We made it to my brother-in-law’s house. He said he would come home and stay with my mother-in-law at the hospital. I dropped her off and peeled out of the driveway. I had exactly enough time to get home.

Meanwhile my heart is pounding out of my chest. Something was not right, but what? I didn’t ask to find out, I just soldiered on to meet the responsibilities of the day.

I knew I was going to be two minutes late when I entered our neighborhood. I dialed my producer to let him know and that is when I found out what I was picking up on. I had bumbled the pre-record time. We were not supposed to record at the top of the hour like my regular show, we were supposed to start at a quarter til the hour! My intuition had been firing on all cylinders, but my mind was on a charted course already.

A flood of emotions invaded my body. First, I felt bad for messing up the time. This woman who seemingly had no time for this show and whose schedule was inconceivably difficult to accommodate had shown up and I was not there. If I have never been anything else, I have usually been responsible. I felt so guilty for leaving her and my producer hanging. Then I felt regret. Regret for putting Chance and my mother-in-law in harm’s way. That day, I did not even consider my own safety. I felt angry at myself for running around like a chicken with my head cut off to try to figure out some way to FORCE this interview that never did happen.

The truth of the situation was that the producer was fine. He was there anyway producing another show. No big deal.

The truth is that Chance and I did arrive home just fine, despite my own recklessness.

The truth is that the interview was never supposed to be. There were many, many signs to indicate this, but I just was not listening.

When I composed myself, I called the woman to apologize. I was ready to fall on my sword without one word of an excuse. I flubbed the time. That was that.

When I called, I was surprised at what I heard on the other end of the line. She said, “I have a message for you from your angels. Would you like to hear it?”

I said, “Yes, I would.”

She said, “They want me to tell you that you need to love yourself. You don’t love yourself enough.”

At that moment, every bit of anxiety, guilt, anger, irritation at myself bubbled up and I literally wanted to reach through the phone and strangle this divine messenger.

She continued, “I have been learning to love myself and now I am at 51%.” She babbled on and on about herself and all I could think is how much I hated this moment. I thought about how her schedule was all-consuming in trying to connect and how I had bended, given and given to try to accommodate her. I felt enraged as she babbled on about her own journey without even considering what it had taken to schedule the first show, then schedule another one – all around her time. Love herself, yes, she was definitely doing that and not inconveniencing herself or her schedule.

“Pay her for your gift,” interrupted my loathing and contempt. The voice was firm and loving and I recognized my own spirit guide.

‘Fine. I will, but I am done with this pretzel making routine,’ I said in my thoughts as she continued to pat herself on the back.

I sent her $100 for her message to me that day. She was astonished at the amount for the less than 10 minute conversation. To me, that felt an appropriate amount.

I had wanted to scream back, “I DO LOVE MYSELF!!!” My ego was ENRAGED at the gall of this intrusion into its idea of itself.

Then I considered the truth of the divine message. What does it mean to love myself? I had not been loving to myself when I drove like a maniac an hour and a half to try to get back on time. I did not love myself when I ignored every cell in my body that said, ‘Just cancel this, it’s not worth it.’ I did not love myself when I put my most valuable possessions, including my precious child, in harm’s way through recklessness. I flat out just didn’t love myself. I saw the truth that day…and like many other instances of truthtelling I’ve experienced, it wasn’t pretty.

The angels were right. And, regardless of the messenger, the message was received.

That was the beginning of starting to learn what self love is all about to me.

And, though I read this now and it may not sound funny, if you could hear me tell this story, you would be rolling on the floor laughing like a client was a couple of years ago when I shared this same message…It’s time to love yourself. And, I shared with her how I wanted to throttle the messenger who brought me the message! And how I was SURE I DID LOVE MYSELF, thank you very much!!!

Love isn’t easy though it should be. Once you unravel all that isn’t love, self love gets a whole lot easier.

Here’s to all of us on Self Love day!

You all know I journal my dreams. What I don’t always do is share my dreams with you. I have, on occasion, shared some of the juicier ones. This one, though, is a sweet treat and reminder of what is true.

In my dream, I walked into an older house – ranch style with many people milling about inside. I walked in and saw these wool rugs hanging from the walls. Remember those rugs we used to make in the 70s where you take a little tool and loop a piece of yarn to create a piece of art? Well, they were like that and they were green and pink – very preppy. Lots and lots of pink graced the rugs. These rugs were HUGE, too. One of them almost looked like a landscaping design with waves of green and pink.

As I walked through the house, I noticed that I was drawn to this doll house that was built into the column of the house. It was like this column was a weight-bearing structure for the house that seemingly had no other walls to support the roof.

I kneeled down and opened up the doll house door and peered inside. I gasped with recognition of the sheer work it took to create this amazing piece of art. I felt like I was in my own little world in my dream.

Then, someone asked, “Do you like it?”

And I replied, “Oh yes, I LOVE it! I can feel the energy of every one of these little creations and they are magnificent!”

Then the young man replied, “Yes, we’ve always loved it. My dad was an artist and he loved to create and build these little pieces, but no one ever seemed to want to pay what they were worth, so instead of selling them, we just kept it.”

I could feel the sadness of his words, and I knew it was nothing like the magic that I felt coming from the doll house.

I said, “Oh, that’s too bad. I’m sure your father was a genius.”

The boy remarked, “Yes, he was always creating something, but he never seemed to be able to figure out the market.”

As we stood there talking, this giant, more lie GIGANTIC pink poodle came rushing up to me. Standard size is large sized, but this poodle was more like great dane sized. She jumped up on me and put her feet on my shoulders (very much like Rico has only tried to do once or twice). She was massive and the sheer weight of her pressing on me felt heavy. But underneath the enormity of her presence, I could feel a playfulness, a jaunty spirit and I also could feel that she loved me very, very much. I knew in that moment with her (inside my dream) she would do anything for me. She was a willing companion and, not only that, but she was well-trained, smart as a whip, playful, fun and had boundless energy.

The boy tried to call her down. Her name was Princess. The more he tried to get her off of me, the more she seemed to hug me. I put my hands out and rubbed her fur and realized this fur was the same fur that was on the fluffy pink and green art pieces that lined the walls. I could feel her girth under my hands and I hugged her back. She licked my face and then jumped down and trotted off as quickly as she came.

One of my mentors would often say our minds are like a pet. If Princess was any indication of my mind, she is ENORMOUS, which does not surprise me at all. What does surprise me is how well-trained I knew my mind was in the dream. And, I could tell that it had boundless energy to support me in . What I didn’t realize was it could be fun and companion-like and these two ideas felt really good.

As I processed this dream…the feeling underneath was helpful and magical. Princess brought this amazing helpful energy and I knew I could ask my mind for anything and she would retrieve it. I realized that I have trained my mind and the other parts of me, too, in a way that I am not sure most people experience day-to-day. To acknowledge this felt so good.

The doll house represented my inner wonderland. It also holds the many creations I love to create and dream of, but that I don’t always share with others. I felt so alive peering through that little door into the wonderland of the artist father.

The dream offered a glimpse into my own thoughts and limiting ideas about my favorite creations…ideas I have let go of since having this dream.

And, the art on the walls showed me what I am willing to share and display for everyone to see, yet I keep the true magic to myself, not because I don’t want to share, but because I am not sure anyone would love the magical side of life like I do…would anyone really see the value in these ideas?

And, truthfully, I didn’t value the magic side…until now. See, how it works… I say maybe you won’t value them when I am not valuing them, but as soon as I value them, then of course, you will too.

That’s the power of dreams. To be able to quickly and easily flip and dip back into your truth.

So, instead of sharing the magical side of me, Princess and I have walked the sidewalk of practicality and information. Oh, of course, my magical, sparkly Queen of Dreams slipped through, but it isn’t the same. I know it, too. We have created many things…many books that are practical and helpful and have even helped change lives. And those creations will still be part of what we create because I have parts of me very committed to that work.

Now it is time for us to spend more time in the wonderland inside of me. To create magical creations for you and to share my spirit in a way I have not been sure of until now.

Since that dream several weeks ago, I have made more decisions…to share the deeper, richer sides of me and to create from a higher place within. Dreams hold power and access to the richest sides of you…consider connecting to your dreams today!

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Ever get a message in many ways? Well, this is what happened to me this week. I received an email from a friend who was reading my blog and he told me he felt downright sparkly after reading it. And another reader emailed to tell me she felt like I really ‘got’ how she felt.

I had been wondering…Is my blog something I should continue to do? Does it make a difference? Am I connecting heart to heart in a way that matters?

I got my answer in many, many ways…and Beverly sent this post to me…for you. As much as I share and serve to remind…LOVE YOURSELF…I still find myself in tears of gratitude to be loved so deeply.

Enjoy!

Love,

Tina

Sometimes the things that are right in front of our noses … those beautiful every day things … are the most important messengers, but because they are there every day … we might tend to love them, yes, but also quickly move on to the next, and the next, and the next thing in life … without stopping to say “Thank You. I Love You” …

So I am stopping right here, right now … in the midst of just a little J chaos in my home as I prepare to have all the old flooring replaced with new… and this is what I am stopping for … to say Thank You Tina … and I Love You Tina … for all you do and for all you are and for sharing with sooooooooooooooooooooo much joy about beauty-full Life.

I had taken a moment in the midst of my to-do list to read your Blog. There I was transported from my world of ‘to do’ to a world of ‘done’ … beautiful hand-painted silk scarves … a young boy who got his magical snow day … a snowman made by boys in shorts and sandals and one big dog who knows he is a person too … parties where joy abounded, so much so that it spilled out into Tina’s Blog and into my home and my heart.

When I went downstairs and looked at the ‘chaos’ again … everything seemed brighter for some reason … the bags, the boxes, the files had taken on a sort of whimsical energy … and what once felt like work now felt like playful interaction with all that awaits my participation in the game of life !!!

So I started thinking … where else is Tina gifting her beautiful messages in my life and in the lives of so many others. I just had to smile … talk about a big list! … I think everyone can relate to what I mean here! I have concluded that Tina’s life itself is one big beautiful message she is sharing with us all … and how lucky are we because each precious moment is infused with such love and joy it literally infuses us with love and joy too! What a precious blessing that is!!!

So this one is for you dear Tina … a Miracle Messages of Love through your beautiful Heart and Soul … with deepest gratitude and a big hug!!!

Shared with You with Love, Beverly…

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I am so amazed with myself that I have held off as long as I have on this post. I am also amazed that this movie didn’t do better than it did at the box office. Months ago, as I watched the clips and previews, I wondered if knowing the entire ‘story’ would affect attendance. I mean, who wants to shell out cash to go see a movie they ‘think’ they already know the beginning, the middle and the end?

I wondered about this myself since after the PR circuit, I knew the ‘story’ and knew the horse won the triple crown for the first time in umpteen years.

Yet somehow, this movie pulled me in and lured me to go see it opening week. Though I might be a tad bit more sensitive than the average bird, I am not the only one who felt the call to this movie. Nearly every person in my current program went to see it opening week. My mom did, too (and she only goes ‘to’ the movies once or twice a year!)

Here’s my two cents. GO SEE IT!!! It’s one of those movies you really want to experience on the big screen. Really. Mom and I are even planning to go see it AGAIN on the big screen. I can’t even remember the last time I did that – the original Rocky and Grease come to mind. That was a LONG time ago!

Mom and I talked about this movie for an HOUR about the nuances of the events that led to Secretariat’s moment (and all of those involved in his historical place in time).

My point?

It’s not about the triple crown win.

This movie is about being a winner as my mom put it. It’s about following your heart. About listening to your gut when everyone and everything around you says not to. About grabbing life by the handle and hanging on. About being mighty and humble when everything inside of you wants to lash out. About doing things even when they are inconvenient. About being the wrong gender at the wrong time in the wrong industry and finding yourself triumphant – not because you are difference, but because you are. It’s a big-time movie about second chances.

And, for those of you who have read my many posts on horse spirit (just search horse spirit on my site to find them), this movie is about horse spirit and the energy of being allowed to be yourself – even if that isn’t ‘acceptable’ to others.

I could go on and on about the performances, but I won’t because the performances delivered these messages in such a powerful way.

For those of you who have families and who try to keep your kids from ingesting violence, this is a keeper.

Secretariat so captured our imaginations that we did some research about him and found out that he had an abnormally LARGE HEART – 22 POUNDS! That’s the heart of a winner!

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About a month or so ago, I attended an author’s panel at a local group. There were nine of us authors who were asked to attend to talk about the ins and outs of writing a book, publishing a book and so forth.

One of the things that I took away from the evening is a greater commitment to share with the world God’s love for them no matter who they are (including myself). The catalyst?

A well-known personal development guru who shall remain nameless.

When I arrived, I pulled out my new book, Must Be Present to Win and put it on the table along with my first book, The Power of Love. Yes, we were at a business get together, but since most of my clients are business people who take more trips to the ditch than most would dare admit, I really didn’t think much about it.

A friend who is a publicist, came up and suggested I give this person a copy of my book, which I did. She admitted that she was primarily there to get guests for her syndicated radio show. That seemed great to me as I had just heard of her a couple of hours before the gathering. Before that, I had no idea who she was – never even knew she was supposed to be a ‘big deal.’

I gave her my book. She thanked me for it. And, offhandedly turned around and asked me why I wrote it.

I told her I had a crisis that gave me an amazing experience with heavenly beings and that I documented the tools that came out of that experience in the book. I didn’t tell her that I felt it was the least I could do to thank all of the people, the messengers who came to help me find my way back to the living.

She said, “So your faith is important you?”

I said, “Absolutely.”

She said, “Well, mine is EVERYTHING, if you know what I mean. And, if yours isn’t mine, then you don’t get on my show.”

The energy she exuded was firm and she spoke forcefully. I started to feel sick to my stomach. For about 10 seconds, I allowed this energy to affect me, but then I said to myself, “No. I don’t have to accept this. I know God loves all of us.”

For me, I have done my best to share a message of love and hope to people. I’m not perfect, and often fall short of the aim even though Jesus is one of my guiding lights. He has shared with me…“Do not worry about the religions of the world. I know every heart. Every heart is mine.”

Most of my clients are Christian…usually they have drifted from their faith and are looking for comfort. Jesus is the Divine Comforter and Compassionate Heart. This is why every heart is his. He is within every heart already. To know Him, is to simply return to your heart.

I walked away from the event knowing this person was a Messenger for me. Her message? “Do you accept yourself wholly for who you are?”

In that moment, I began to accept myself in a way that is courageous. I am what I am. I am intuitive. I can hear divine guidance. I do have a high level of discernment, so not only can I hear it, but I can see who the messenger is and know who it is that has brought the messages. This means I am a medium, in the vocabulary of today.

I do assist others to reunite with their Truth, their divinity. And, yes, my faith is very important to me, and, yes, most of the people who attract to me are Christian. I didn’t ask for this. Jesus came to me when I was a little girl. He has asked me to help his people – all of his people – just as he has requested of me my entire life.

So, I thank this person for bringing the gift that has allowed me to walk courageously in a world that may not always understand that God works in mysterious ways, and brings messengers of light in many different packages.

Mark said something to me the next day as I grappled with the message I’m sharing here. He said, “You know, every person is one experience away from changing everything they believe.” The truth of what he said was undeniable. I’ve seen what one encounter with the divine can do for a person. And, this, ultimately is why I continue to be who I am.

Susie Jordan, my soul sister friend from the one heart tribe sent me this. Wow, what a gift! I hope you enjoy. I love you, too.

Sivan…what a gift you have given us. Big hug.

P.S. I hope back to school brought fun, joy and loads of memories for all of you students, parents and kiddos. The kids in this video…wow, so sweet!

It’s been three months exactly from my first post on easy weight loss. So much has happened! I wanted to share some of what has been going on, what I’ve heard from others who have been sharing their results and some thoughts I’ve had in between.

On the subject of feeling…I remembered back in high school when I used the ‘feelings’ (energy) of others to lose weight. At the time, I had no idea what I was doing, but now I know exactly what I was doing and why I got the results I did. Back then, I was a very overweight 13 year old. I wanted desperately to wear cool clothes and to be part of the ‘in’ crowd. One day, the idea to ‘pretend’ to be like one of the ladies I saw who was really thin (fit never entered my mind, I wanted to look thin!) popped into my mind.

What I was doing energetically was connecting to these women as a collective. The more I tuned in to their energy, the more my behavior changed. That was the summer I became anorexic, but I really wasn’t ‘consciously’ doing it…I was simply following the energy and doing what came to me. The energy of the collective was controlled. I remember wanting a candy bar one day and this constraining feeling came to me instantly…control, resisting = good. The more I tuned into control, resisting and the feeling of achievement with being these, the less I ate. The less I ate, the better I felt. Remember…control, resisting = good. I lost 80 lbs. in just over 3 months. I mastered my body in the most destructive of ways. Whew! That’s when I also tuned into the compulsive exercising energy, too. Let’s put it this way… no one should be working out 11 hours a day – ever.

Alas, I have vowed to master and commit to my physical in the highest way for all parts of me this time – once and for all!

So far, this is what has happened:

1. I have really felt intense love for my body – flaws and all. I had a photo shoot and really had fun! Mark and I did our first video that was equally as fun. I just really don’t have the desire to judge my body at all. I appreciate how adaptable it has been and how strong it is. Others have sent emails saying that they are also feeling more love for their bodies – where they are, right now. The journey doesn’t feel like a competition with time, it is just a trip to feeling good physically, emotionally, spiritually and mentally. Isn’t that cool?

2. At some point in the last three months, I had an epiphany around shifting from the inside-out. The point is to let go of all of the ‘trappings’ of the external reference point that affect the internal. These include anything that feed the part of me that habituates to ‘keeping score’… the measuring, the results, the getting to a destination… all of these energize the part of me that has helped me be very successful, but has also created an unhappiness that keeps me from being me. I let go of measuring through scales and measuring tape (an old friend). The clothes sizes…the noticing is as it happens… I’m not focused on them, they are simply part of the experience.I’ve gone down two sizes in my shirt size. My oversized workout t-shirts look like night shirts now. It’s almost time to go shopping for new under garments. VS…here we come! It’s like praise of any sort… nice, but not necessary.

3. The day I remembered my experience from 13 years old, the memory literally just popped into my mind. I thought, ‘Well, I don’t want to go that far again…but I could definitely tune into a ‘fit’ energy and work from that flow of what is best for me.’ So, I’ve been doing this (not regularly like I did before), and it is fascinating how wonderful it is to have a boost. There’s a flow to eating what I want (including chocolate cake and pie) or what I’m craving, and cutting back in other areas without ‘thinking’ about it. It’s been fascinating. I have the most incredible urges to work out… like I used to. I’ve done it once. Now that the book is put to bed, I’ll spend some time exploring how I want to work out now. Walking is always a welcome way to connect with my body.

4. I also noticed that there’s an energy or feeling to truly desiring something intensely. At 13, I intensely wanted to change my body that I didn’t like. At nearly 42, I simply love my body and want to enjoy it in every way I can. I don’t have an intensity to change like I did before. I don’t loathe myself. Surely there’s an intense desire I can connect to now. I keep going back to that free wheeling image I got at the start of this journey… cartwheels in the backyard. There’s absolutely the yummiest, free feeling associated with it. The childlike feeling I’m experiencing internally is a match to cartwheels and jumping on the trampoline. That feels good. I’ll keep you posted if new things come up.

5. Noticings. I’m not sure what this one means, but I’ve been noticing how small people’s shoulders are. We watched Back to the Future (the first original movie) and I noticed how tiny the people were in that movie. I’ve been noticing this in other situations as well. We watched Father of the Bride and the people in that movie appeared to be even smaller. I never noticed this before. As I’ve been noticing their smaller shoulders, I’ve also noticed my own. Wow, isn’t that interesting? I’ve also been noticing athletes. Perhaps my inner athlete is waking up. Isn’t this so much easier?

One last thing. During the last two weeks of getting my book to press, and as I relapsed into my old achiever ways, I noticed that I ate unconsciously and ravenously. I would reach for coffee and tea like old friends, and keep going. The sharp contrast between my joyous creating of the weeks before with the pressure being applied (errors in the graphics and a deadline of announcing the book’s arrival) brought back unconscious old habits. I noticed these, and vowed to set a schedule, work environment that uplifts me and allows me to love myself. Life really is too short to live any other way.

Send me your stories…letters[at]TinaFerguson.com I’m collecting these for my book that will share this process and share with others how they can do it too!

Looking for a Dream Life:

• hawaii fit
• salsa life fits my
• trampolines
• bra riding up
• future trampolines
• I love myself written on body
• measuring tape weight

For those of you wondering WHERE I have been (thanks for your emails – I’m doing fine, really!), I invite you to listen to last week’s Queen of Dreams Radio show. I’ve had an interesting few weeks of upgrading energetically to a new way of being. Absolutely everything had to go that was not true. I literally have been sick from trying to do things the forceful way!

If you are sensitive, most likely you are also experiencing dramatic shifts. I hope my show will assist you as you flow into a greater Presence and all that you truly are.

Love,

Tina

Looking for a Dream Life:

• acceptance purple
• real lotus blossom flower

Alrighty, let’s get into the details of this life experiment #45873.

Just kidding. I know I am part researcher by nature, so I love to do experiments all over the place. Why not do one for easy weight loss?

So, let’s just dive into some starting details.

1. I am not one of these people who hates themselves when they are out of shape or overweight. I actually have the opposite issue… inside of me, I feel amazingly attractive and people tell me all the time how beautiful I am (which I feel comes from inside), so when I get a photo where I realize I really do need to lose some extra pounds, it is almost weird because that isn’t how I feel.

2. #1 presents a big challenge because I have to remind myself to think of myself in a different way. And, it also points to the fact that somewhere, lurking way underneath the surface, there’s a hidden image that keeps me where I am.

3. I’ve dealt with my weight… excess or otherwise (I’ve also been anorexic)… ever since I was a little kid who was a bit ‘thick’ for my build. Now, with my own son, I can see – literally – that we are just thick people. That’s how God made us. We will never be a thin build, and that’s okay.

4. I had an epiphany a couple of weeks ago as I worked with a client. I stated very matter of factly that creation works extremely predictably. As I said it, I could feel this energy underneath focused like a laser beam on the words as they tumbled out of my mouth. Wow. Okay, let’s do this! I use these principles for everything else…why not for health? And, that’s when I realized that weight loss is the ONLY thing I go OUTSIDE of MYSELF for an answer. This is a long-standing pattern.

5. #4 tells me WHY even my rising at pre-dawn really wasn’t moving the needle on the scale. I made a DECISION back in December to lose this 80 lbs. (third time is the charm!) for the LAST time in MY WAY. I said to myself, “Self… we won’t be coming back here. This is the last time. We’ll do it our way and it will be our way for life.”

6. Here, we are.. on a precipice for a new dawn. Using creation tools for weight loss. I’ve tried everything else… isn’t this cool to be able to actually use my teachings to transform my body, too??? Whoa, I’m having a forest for the trees moment.

7. SO grateful, though! Really…

This is me in Hawaii … fit and active… and healthy and happy. Well, maybe a wee bit thicker, but still fit and active…and healthy and happy!

I talked to a friend the other day and she is just not feeling the blog love. She feels like it is a big burden, it is like talking to nothing with nothing coming back. She’s an in-person, immediate gratification people person.

Wow, do I get it. Me too!

When I first started out three years ago on Contact Talk Radio with my show, which was given to me by spirit (Guides & Guidance), I literally would talk for an hour to NO ONE.

Or so I thought.

Soon enough, I found out the truth. Me, myself and I were actually one of the top rated shows with lots of people tuning in. The people weren’t saying much, but they were definitely showing up and listening.

Sometimes that is how it is with life. It looks like nothing is happening. It looks like we can’t see or hear results. But, underneath, the people ARE coming…they ARE listening.

Same goes for your relationship with God and the Messengers. You may be showing up and showing up and not hearing anything. But, let me tell you what I know for sure… they are there. And, it isn’t them who can’t hear you, it’s you who can’t hear them. It just takes practice to tune in – and be okay with talking to the void.

Same is true for whatever you ‘think’ is not here yet… so… what’s it going to be? Whining or winning?

I vote… winning!

Send who you are out into the world for all to see. Don’t worry about acknowledgment from others… acknowledge yourself!

Well, it’s official. I’ve decided to use the methods I teach to create everything else in my life to work with weight loss – vitality gain. I’m sure you are saying, “Well, why didn’t she think of that before???” And my answer would be, “I have NO CLUE!”

I can only think that it must be because in this area of my life, I have so many ingrained patterns, beliefs and – yes, mindsets – around the subject. No more!

So, I’m going to chronicle my success on my blog and let you all know what’s going on with it. I really can’t believe how easy this is so far. Plus, I’m going to tell you step by itty bitty step how I’m doing it. All right here!!

No, these are not my toes…

In the flap of Susan Boyle’s new CD, she dedicates her new CD, I Dreamed a Dream, to her mother. She writes, “to my beloved Mother, to whom I made a promise to be someone.”

I completely ‘get’ what that means…perhaps not what Susan ‘meant’ as I can never know her heart, but I do see so many people…and many times myself…thinking that they must ‘be’ something or accomplish something to be ‘someone.’

The truth is you are already someone. You are a sister to a sibling, a mother to a child, a teacher to a student, a student to a teacher, an example, a dreamer, a person of faith, a child of God. You are already all of these things and so much more. Every day, in every way you touch people all around you. You choose each day what being someone means to you.

Don’t wait for ‘someday’ to be ‘someone’… be you right now!

I’ll join you!

I just lost a week of my life! I have not been this ‘busy’ in a very LONG time – mostly by choice. Last week taught me WHY I unplugged from everything. WHY I made choices to uphold what is important to me.

WOW.

I lost a week of my life… where WAS I? I realize I was present with my clients. With Chance. With Mark, mostly. But, where was my time? GONE! *Poof* In an instant… shazam! Dissolved into thin air.

When Friday came I was gone… literally and figuratively. I was empty. I had nothing left. I even rescheduled a beloved client because I literally did not feel like I was at my best.

Am I kicking myself? No. But you better believe that I made changes for this week! And, that really is how contrast works. We get an experience and we say, “Nope… this is NOT what I want.” then we create something new from that moment.

This week, I have clients, writing to attend to. THIS BLOG that went into my hyper vortex last week! And…yes… me. I have a very important appointment with myself. As well as Chance, Mark and clients I love.

I know, without a doubt, that for me to be optimal I MUST have time to process. I require more than most people, I’m sure. I had a friend who used to take three to four days per month to go be by himself. We all know what it is for us. For me, I need big, juicy chunks. Two hours is best. One will do. Less than that and I’ll vacate my body and go into the ethers to ‘make space’ for myself. Not the best for living in the world. Truly.

My family amazes me with how loving they are about this requirement knowing that when I take care of me they get the best of me.What’s your optimal? Play with it and see … you can have what you ask for.

Mary sent this to me! She is an amazing designer and creator of super crafty, wonderfully artsy things.

Isn’t it sooo cute?

Can you read what it says? Open Your Gifts…time with you via email or phone or in person is my gift.

Thank you!

Oh wow… look at that. Another year has gone by. Lots of years have passed since I first sprang into this world – 41, in fact.

I find that I really don’t think much about age until someone brings it up, or until I talk to someone who doesn’t know much about the 80s (when we get to ‘explain’ the jokes or how funny things were back then).

The older I get the more I realize life really is all about love. And we all have our special brand of it.

It’s perfect, really.

You are perfect, really.

So am I.

Let’s celebrate together!

Chance drew this for me…I love his drawings! I would have never thought to have balloons coming OUT of a mouth… so CREATIVE! And these words… crazy…yummy…party…love you…yay!

So sweet!

My last show was a bit more emotional than I usually get. Perhaps it is my heart… perhaps it is my unwillingness to sit by and watch … perhaps it is my love for you (and me) that I remind us to care for ourselves.

I find myself wondering what else I can say. What words matter? Love yourself… yeah, yeah, yeah… who cares? What does that mean anyway? a client recently said. I agree… the words are hollow.

Perhaps it is about caring for yourself. Is that any better? Care for yourself… yeah, yeah, yeah… who cares?

Okay, then think about someone you deeply love now. A child, a parent, a friend… and think about how much you love that person and how you would want the best for that person no matter what.

That’s what we’re talking about… that love. That feeling. Now apply it to yourself.

I have not always acted like I loved my gifts, but I don’t know that I would ever want to trade them in. That said, there’s something about seeing cancer or other diseases up close and personal in the body. I have worked with the beautiful healers as they have cleared a person of thousands and thousands of harsh words, or cleaned out a person’s blood bit by bit of chemicals.

I am in awe of their love and their desire to serve, and I wonder… could we maybe help a bit? Not being sassy here… but could we possibly love ourselves just a wee bit more? Or maybe open up to receiving the help some?

One of the hardest things for people to see and know is how they are hard on themselves…I remember how I defended myself and how “good” I was being toward myself. Ha! I could only hope to be good to myself at that moment in time. I cruelly tormented myself with doubts. Ah, to learn what is true.

So as we lay our friends down to sleep…Billy Mays, Jr.…Michael Jackson…Farrah Fawcett…Ed McMahon…personal friends near and far… can we find it in our hearts to honor their memories by loving ourselves and those around us just a tiny bit more? I hope so… love is waiting for you! You are love!