Posts Tagged ‘Letting Go’
How many times have you felt like you had to do everything yourself? I know I have in many ways along my life.
When I was in my 20s, I had to do everything myself because I had to have everything the way I liked it. I cringe now thinking of the times when I would re-do something someone else did (from the house not being clean enough to rewrapping a present with wrinkles in it!)
When I was in my 30s, it was all about everything I did being an extension of me. So, if my team (at work) did something, then I had to approve everything to ‘ensure’ it was ‘good enough’ to meet my high standards. Ugh! Talk about exhausting!
Now that I’m in my 40s, I’ve relaxed a lot (not entirely), yet a LOT about all of these areas. I realize that trust goes a L-O-N-G way and the more I’m willing to trust others, the more I attract others who are worthy of trust! Wow, such a deal!
Plus, I can use my personal power for good instead of trying to control things!
Yesterday, I talked to a friend who just had a baby. She was grappling with this idea of “I must do everything myself” and it’s first cousin, “Everything must come through me.”
Her baby has a super high metabolism and somehow more breast milk was needed. She had a choice to make…would she allow others to support her? Would she give up the need to be the way?
Once she decided what she most wanted (which equaled – Healthy Baby), then the decision was easy…I want whatever allows me to continue breast feeding and also gives my baby the most health. Soon, several other mothers showed up to donate breast milk and my friend has what she wants…healthy baby, breast feeding and support.
What I see is my friend’s beauty and love reflected back to her. She is ALL about community, she believes it does take a village to raise children, and believes help comes in many abundant ways.
Indeed!
Remember, just say yes…and, remember, you don’t have to do everything yourself! In fact, it can be so much fun when others join you!
Yesterday, I called a friend who was feeling down. I shared from my own experience how the soul beckons us back to who we are – pure love, pure joy. I told her my story of learning how to love myself. I never thought of this story as funny, but she was laughing so hard that something in it must have been funny. Trust me, at the time, it was ANYTHING other than funny!
She said… “I have tears coming out of my eyes and they feel like not happy tears, but I’m laughing at the same time.”
That’s kind of what it feels like when you begin to return to the true you. It feels really sad at first. Like, HOW could I not care for myself anymore than this? HOW could I possibly have THOUGHT I loved myself when OBVIOUSLY I’ve been deluding myself! And your ego will really grieve how you didn’t see it all along. You might even sprinkle in some course critical comments about how “stupid” you’ve been. But, slowly, you begin again.
And the fog clears.
Then YOU get to come back and make some clear choices, and see that you really are amazing and brilliant. And wonder how ANYONE wouldn’t be able to see that – including you!
The rose is a symbol of completion…wholeness. I’ve seen this symbol so often over the years in readings – rosebuds for people who were just about to open, roses that were opening and closing for people who were saying – I want to, I don’t want to, I want to, I don’t want to, white roses, red roses, roses covered in snow, roses floating in the ocean, but mostly, I see roses and I experience the loving beauty as God wants to say… I see you!
For years I’ve tried to read Oriah Mountain Dreamer’s books. They called to me (still do), I bought them, but I could never read them. I would begin and then so much energy would build up in me that I would put it down and go do something else.
Recently, though, I picked up her book, The Call, and was able to actually read a couple of chapters of it, realizing that the time is the time when its the time – there’s no judgment in all of this. Evidently, this was the time for me to learn about this archetype. She begins the book, writing about this image she has of herself with her hands held in front of her with her hands severed.
She writes… The woman with her hands – a symbol of doing – severed says to me silently but emphatically, “I quit!”
I read this several months ago, and after learning about quitting ‘doing,’ just like other times, left the book alone. Last night I came upon some of the most clearly stated information about the inner dynamics of the Self. I literally lapped at this book soaking in how crisp and clear Robert A. Johnson’s descriptions were of how we work with our dreams and the unconscious.
Today, I felt pulled to know more about this man who touched me so deeply. And this is what I found on a site by one of Johnson’s mentees, Alzak Amlani, PhD… our handless maiden again.
“In the myth of the Handless Maiden a miller makes a deal with the devil in order to get more work done quickly and with less effort. The devil demands the miller’s daughter as payment. The miller is desolate but unwilling to give up his much expanded mill, so he gives his daughter to the devil. The devil chops off her hands and carries them away." Waited on her by newly prosperous family, the handless maiden is content for a time, until a growing sense of desperation sends her out to the forest alone.
The cry of contemporary women, like that of the handless maiden, is often some variation of "What can I do?"-a wounded, sometimes angry plea appropriate in a world that often makes women feel useless and second-rate outside of the realms of courtship or childbearing.”
In many readings I have seen soul information about a client being a ‘maiden’…with guidance and encouragement for the person to ‘surrender’ the maiden who must ‘do’ to be valued. I’ve seen women with any range of disorders around this theme – digestive failure, arthritic hands that plead to ‘let go,’ and hearts that literally appear to burst at the seams from holding so much resentment.
I had the fortunate experience to work with a beautiful woman last week and the Three Flames brought healing around ‘working hard,’ and worth derived from ‘working hard.’ I have benefitted from that energy, and I realize now that for a long time now Spirit has been trying to show me what to surrender…what to let go. I believe I’m finally home again.
Let’s thank the handless maiden for holding us for a while until we can reunite with the Queen… the Goddess within. The first step… pry your fingers away from the grip you have on control and then … let go!
Bumping up against the past, realizing that people take a snapshot of us, put a description on it and then label it as ‘you’ [insert name here] is challenging to the ego when you’ve moved along the continuum and the ‘you’ that you know is no longer a match to that. That was ‘you’ then, this is ‘you’ now.
The ego-mind wants control – always. Forever it is trying to make things what it wants. And, that includes trying to manage everyone else’s perceptions of who ‘you’ are.
Fugettaboutit…there’s no way to ever win that ego-mind war. But, the very best thing you can do to better deal with it is to gain clarity by letting go. Clarity of who you are, clarity of purpose, clarity of spirit, clarity of gifts, and then act in alignment with that clarity. Soon, your photo gets updated and you’ll get a new description in that person’s mind, and even perhaps, a new label.
Above all… love every part of who you are, where you’ve been, and what you’ve created…it’s all part of YOUR journey. And, don’t forget, pictures are taken all along the way!