Yesterday, I woke up and the left part of my body, from the shoulder to the middle of my rib cage ached like an angry vengeance. My breast, in particular, ached and throbbed with a searing burn I have only experienced a couple of other times.

“I am tired of all of this work,” my body seemed to say. “Let’s play.”

But, I had other plans for that day. A long list of to-dos and some things that have been waiting on me that only I can do. Oh, and don’t forget phone calls and such.

“Let’s play…let’s take a break,” my body beckoned. But I did not listen.

The day went along and the searing in my chest grew more intense with every item I checked off the list. Check, check, check and while part of me was satisfied, my body was raging against the day’s events.

Last night, I dropped into bed with an unbearable pain that I can’t even remember having to that severity.

This morning, I woke up and the pain – my body – was there to greet me.

“Okay, you win,” I said. “What shall we do today?” And as I relinquished my stranglehold on myself, images of my mother came flooding into my mind.

Just a couple of months after I turned 20, my mother found out that she had a fibroid tumor about the size of a large grapefruit. I didn’t know at the time that she had literally been bleeding to death for nearly a year. As I tromped around in my own smoggy wedding ideals, I could not even find an ounce of compassion for my mother who seemed to be more tired than normal. My intuition told me something was wrong, but I was 20 and selfish and focused only on what I wanted, so I just blew it off.

Today, as I these flooded my mind, I knew what took her there – a desire to be an artist, trapped in a State job with its dependability and leash of security, and a never-ending pile of bills and kids still in high school that demanded all kinds of things that cost money.

She ended up having an emergency hysterectomy. Before she could have surgery, she required a tremendous blood transfusion as she literally was nearly bled out. This is the stoicism and strength that I carry in me. How easy it is to ignore one’s body!

Today, my mother’s memory came to greet me and to remind me to take care of myself. To have compassion for the part of me that no one may know of or even see that still requires my time and attention. To allow the creative to flow and to dance. As soon as I surrendered to a day of quiet solitude – even a few hours – the burning in my left breast vanished and my energy soared.

I threw on a little denim jacket that I’ve worn for many years, but have not worn at all this year. It is a simple Liz Claiborne jacket with two chest pockets. The left one, that is just above that same left breast that yelled out today, has a quarter size hole in it. Not only did the pocket have a hole, but also the material underneath it in the jacket.

Coincidence? You decide.

Feeling means taking a risk. When we open ourselves to feel, we also open ourselves to hurt. AND we also open ourselves to ABUNDANT BEAUTY, hope, passion, desire, and LOVE!

I love to share resources that have greatly aided me along the path, and yet I realize that each person is different, unique in what speaks to them. So, let your heart be your guide.

If you want to connect more fully to your heart, Karunesh’s CD with Heart Meditations truly is WONDERFUL. Here’s a sample!