Queen of Dreams Radio
Posts Tagged ‘Gratitude’
In our neighborhood, we have a ‘volunteer’ association. This means that we don’t pay home owners association dues unless we choose to do so. One of the ‘benefits’ of donating is that you get Crimewatch emails that detail every crime that has been committed within a 10 to 15 mile radius of our little neighborhood. You also get a little newsletter that, again, highlights the crimewatch items.
When we first moved into our home, which is nestled into a little neighborhood of perhaps 60 houses total, and that backs up to a greenbelt that is lined by a creek, we signed up for the volunteer association. Back then, while I knew that old adage, what you focus on expands, I wasn’t quite as sensitive to it as I am now.
That first year, nothing seemed to make its way to us. We didn’t receive the Crimewatch emails and very rarely received a newsletter. I didn’t think much about it, and didn’t donate again because, quite frankly, I forgot and no one asked us to donate.
Then, about three years later, while I was in the middle of my own crisis, we were stopped on the street by the person who does the Crimewatch bulletin. Apparently, he knew those of us who weren’t donating. Our conversion van had been parked out front, and though I repeatedly asked Mark to bring it to the back (we have a gated back drive) as I felt something was off, he didn’t and the van was broken into and the big screen TV, DVD, and Chance’s childhood DVD collection were stolen. The man who stopped us said, “Now, maybe you will contribute to the association. Do you want to volunteer for the Crimewatch team?”
I remember standing on the street feeling a tiny bit of fear about being invaded, and then this man’s pounding energy flying at us with such bitterness.
We donated, just like we did before, when asked. To me, I don’t really think about this sort of thing. It certainly wasn’t personal. At the time, I was in very low frequency, too; a neighborhood donation paled in comparison to other concerns. A perfect match such as it was. I began receiving these emails filled with this intense hatred and agitation. I couldn’t read them … they were filled with too much energy. What I remember most was the lists of crimes and this man’s stories about how someone stole his identity and then it had happened to his brother…on and on it went.
I was sitting here about to update my bio when one of his emails popped up on my auto email alert, and all I saw was the first line… I haven’t received any crimewatch alerts. Apparently, he has passed the baton to someone not so organized as he.
Today, his presence brings me gratitude. I’m thankful I’m my mother’s daughter – the woman who left her purse in a Wal Mart parking lot and a young man returned it, complete with the $100 dollars from the check she cashed and her two checkbooks; one personal and one business. I’m grateful that even on that day when our van was broken into, I knew things would be okay; they always are. I’m grateful I’m not preoccupied with the insanity of others…and the experiences that insanity brings to others.
I’m also grateful for the man who, until today, I didn’t realize was an angel sent to me to show me how I was feeling at the time… it’s us against them. Today, I know that’s not true. And, for that, I’m delighted to send him love and hope that one day soon he knows that for himself, too.
DeDe Murcer Moffett guest-hosted on Queen of Dreams Radio this week. She is the founder and CEO of The Snap Out of It Women’s Network, The Snap Out of It Radio Network and Snap Out of It Radio Show. Her latest Snap Out of It creation is the Snap Out of It Conference. DeDe has chosen an amazing line up of speakers who will share their hearts with you.
On the show, something in our conversation took me to a moment a couple of days ago. I had just woken up and was greeted by my beautiful spirit guides. They illuminated a pale, bright white as they stood in a circle in front of me. One spoke…she said, “What else can we give you so you can trust more?” The question made me feel ashamed yet loved all at the same time. I could feel their loving concern and their desire to help. A barrage of images – memories of everything they have already provided – flooded my mind.
What had they not provided? Years ago, they gently brought me to a place of releasing my own self-hatred…then the healings for many people who ‘found’ me as I dared to show up and learn each day – proof I could trust these unbelievable miracles I began experiencing …then the many people who came to heal and who also taught me how to heal…not to mention how I have been fully and abundantly provided for every time I have asked.
I was ashamed that here they were, once again, with unconditional love asking … “How may we serve you?” I thought to myself… ‘There’s nothing left! It’s my turn now to serve myself – and others.’ I have always loved helping people, supporting them to be all that they can be. Perhaps doing it for yourself is one of the hardest things to do. I had taken so many steps with the guidance and watchful eye of these beautiful beings…and yet here I was again, standing at the edge of the high dive putting off the next step.
I could feel the effects in my body – more than at any other time – and there have been many other times. It is this same place I come to…and inevitably I take the step and it is no big deal, and yet every time it still feels the same – uncomfortable, unknown, uncertain.
“What else can we give you so you can trust more?” I could hear again as I considered that moment just a few days prior. I had thoughts of people who don’t hear these delightful beings – people who seem to assume since I can that somehow I’m not as human as they are – that I get to leap human tendencies in a single jump.
But, what I realized a few days ago…is… I am really not the same as I once was before they came. I have been in Spirit University for many years now…strengthening my inner understanding, applying it in the world. Coming back to this place is a habit like any other. I go here when I sense I don’t know something in my mind. Their loving visit jolted me out of the habit. And, reminded me I can make a choice to trust first. I don’t have to continue to make something big out of this feeling I have – I can move beyond needing the external reassurance – spirit or otherwise. Plus, I always know they are there to gently support me – in all ways. In a funny way, I know they knew this…and yet one more external prompting drove me inside to use the tools I have and to see the Truth. Everything really is perfect.
I have been in a time of intense acknowledgement for months now. And, what is true is…I have done the work. I do live what I teach and am still learning. Now, it is time to dance with others.
“You will always be provided for…” this is the message I’ve been given over and over in my life. In so many ways it is an odd assurance. Provided for…what does that mean? And, what did I care at three about it anyway? And, yet a week and a half ago, this was the same gentle promise I received as I felt my heat soar and connect to so many others I will meet soon meet.
Ah, it feels so good – even with the uncertainty!
Looking for a Dream Life:
A couple of weeks ago when Sandra Bullock accepted her Golden Globe for Best Actress for her role in The Blindside, she thanked her husband, uber-entrepreneur Jesse James, for ‘having her back’ and commented on how it wasn’t surprising that her work got so much better when he came along because before that she never knew what it was like to have someone have her back.
That moment, watching Sandra’s heartfelt sentiment come out of her heart, and then thinking about the family from the movie, The Blindside, and how important it was for this young boy to know a place where someone had his ‘back’ made me think about my own life and who has my back.
When I think of who has my back, I realize that it is easy to feel that no one does when you feel alone. I’ve known for a long time that God has my back, but there have been times when I have forgotten. Somehow, when Mark came along…similar to what Sandra said…I felt like I wasn’t alone anymore. I felt like someone understood me.
As I watched Sandra, considered my own life, and thought of how things did change when I met Mark…I realized how much space it takes up inside of a person to ‘go it alone’… and even to believe they are alone. The feeling of you against the world takes a tremendous amount of energy. When I think back on my life, I’ve always had people who had my back. The difference that came with Mark was that I let him into my heart – fully, unconditionally, completely. In doing that, I could release my heart in a bigger way.
I believe that is what Sandra meant… that she was safe in letting her heart out. I know exactly how that feels.
Thanks, honey, for having my back. Love you.
A few weeks ago I spoke at the Holistic Networking Group in McKinney, Texas. Right before I began, PJ Spur came up to ask if she could record the presentation. She promised to send me a copy of the recording, and off we went…she to a table and me to present.
Imagine my delight when just a few days ago I opened the mail to receive not only a beautifully designed CD label, complete with the date and location, but also a sweet note of gratitude.
I felt amazing and thankful, too. Thank you PJ!
A week or so ago, as I waited for my next appointment to arrive at my ‘office’ away from the office… Paradise Bakery, I threw away the cup from my previous appointment and went to get a napkin to wipe down the table.
The area managers from Paradise Bakery were holding a meeting at a nearby table, and noticed that I was ‘cleaning.’ One jumped up and offered to wipe down the table top for me. I blushed, embarrassed by how long I had actually been seated there (three+ hours), yet accepted his offer, and before I knew it, everything was clean and I was saying hi to my next appointment.
I have been a fan of Paradise Bakery long before that kind gesture, but ever since then I am an even bigger fan. I appreciate this company and all it stands for – fresh food, considerate service and a great dining experience.
Thank you!
