Queen of Dreams Radio
Posts Tagged ‘Gratitude’
About 20 years ago, I received a phone call from my grandmother. She had been in a drunk driving accident, and although she was not hurt, she was very scared.
When I arrived at my grandmother’s apartment, I found her sitting on her couch looking three shades of white. She looked like a little child sitting there, and I could not imagine what she would say to me when I asked her what happened.
The accident took place over on the north side of Fort Worth off of an old highway that used to serve as a main artery for the city. I knew exactly where the accident took place because I had taken my driver’s test over there, and nearly failed it because of the two lane street that opens up to a four-lane highway confused me. I didn’t know ‘where’ to drive or which ‘lane’ went where. The four lane empties into a little two-lane street that drops down at a nearly 90 degree angle. When you point your car down that road, you literally can only see the trees above you as you descend down the road.
My grandmother was on that narrow two-lane street driving home late one night when her car veered into oncoming traffic. She had just closed my great-aunt’s bar, had had a few drinks herself and was headed home when she struck a car head-on while diving to grab her cigarette that had fallen into the floorboard.
Wow, can you imagine?
Her Chevy Caprice was totaled. My grandmother told me of a wonderful black woman who had been driving the other car. She was a ‘big’ black woman with a heavy Cadillac, and she was unhurt. “She was only worried about me…was I alright?” my grandmother said. “She cared more about me than she did about her car that was wrecked – even herself!”
My grandmother had been extremely racist her entire life. In that moment, I knew she had let it all go. My mother was not at all racist, and extremely tolerant and forgiving. My brother is half-Spanish and I am half-Native American. My grandmother had been so racist, so intolerant of our fathers. And, in that instant, not only was she healed, but so were we.
I had never seen my grandmother afraid until that day. She was terrified of what was going to happen to her. She had always done what she was supposed to – paid her taxes, followed the rules; this was beyond her rulebook.
I have written about my ex-brother-in-law who was an alcoholic, and it was his attorney that took very good care of my grandmother and kept her out of jail at 70 something years old. The black woman never pressed charges, and I can only imagine the number of angels that would create a healing scene like this.
My grandmother never drank again. After a life of cigs, beer and booze, she walked away from the alcohol and the cigarettes weren’t too far behind when her mind gave way to Alzheimer’s and she literally forgot she smoked!
Sometimes when things happen we like to tell stories, blame people, blame ourselves, and sometimes all that is needed is to receive the gifts and to say thank you.
Looking for a Dream Life:
One of the best things about having a 10-year-old in the house is the art that comes out of his imaginative mind. Each day, he wanders into the dining room and creates some kind of art for the day. No matter how much I ‘play,’ I simply don’t create art that looks like this. It’s whimsical, playful, impractical…so, well, artistic. I mean, if this was mine, I would only have one smiley face…where the face goes, you know? But here’s Chances, and the more smiley faces the better, it seems. I appreciate these days. Wandering in to see what he has drawn today and to enjoy it until tomorrow when another equally as childlike piece will take its place. So fun!
Ever get a message in many ways? Well, this is what happened to me this week. I received an email from a friend who was reading my blog and he told me he felt downright sparkly after reading it. And another reader emailed to tell me she felt like I really ‘got’ how she felt.
I had been wondering…Is my blog something I should continue to do? Does it make a difference? Am I connecting heart to heart in a way that matters?
I got my answer in many, many ways…and Beverly sent this post to me…for you. As much as I share and serve to remind…LOVE YOURSELF…I still find myself in tears of gratitude to be loved so deeply.
Enjoy!
Love,
Tina
Sometimes the things that are right in front of our noses … those beautiful every day things … are the most important messengers, but because they are there every day … we might tend to love them, yes, but also quickly move on to the next, and the next, and the next thing in life … without stopping to say “Thank You. I Love You” …
So I am stopping right here, right now … in the midst of just a little J chaos in my home as I prepare to have all the old flooring replaced with new… and this is what I am stopping for … to say Thank You Tina … and I Love You Tina … for all you do and for all you are and for sharing with sooooooooooooooooooooo much joy about beauty-full Life.
I had taken a moment in the midst of my to-do list to read your Blog. There I was transported from my world of ‘to do’ to a world of ‘done’ … beautiful hand-painted silk scarves … a young boy who got his magical snow day … a snowman made by boys in shorts and sandals and one big dog who knows he is a person too … parties where joy abounded, so much so that it spilled out into Tina’s Blog and into my home and my heart.
When I went downstairs and looked at the ‘chaos’ again … everything seemed brighter for some reason … the bags, the boxes, the files had taken on a sort of whimsical energy … and what once felt like work now felt like playful interaction with all that awaits my participation in the game of life !!!
So I started thinking … where else is Tina gifting her beautiful messages in my life and in the lives of so many others. I just had to smile … talk about a big list! … I think everyone can relate to what I mean here! I have concluded that Tina’s life itself is one big beautiful message she is sharing with us all … and how lucky are we because each precious moment is infused with such love and joy it literally infuses us with love and joy too! What a precious blessing that is!!!
So this one is for you dear Tina … a Miracle Messages of Love through your beautiful Heart and Soul … with deepest gratitude and a big hug!!!
Shared with You with Love, Beverly…
Looking for a Dream Life:
Maybe it is because we just got back from the gorgeous, autumn-flavored hills and valleys of Maryland, D.C. and Virginia, maybe it is because our Halloween Party was so much fun, and maybe, just maybe this is a really, really special year full of more magic than my heart has anticipated in a very long time.
Before we left for vacation, Mark and I hustled about cleaning and clearing out clutter in a way that made absolutely no sense as our vacation was just days away. I mean, Really? Is cleaning the garage the most important thing to do before going on vacation? Apparently it was. We donated, threw out and reorganized everything in the garage. I felt guided, directed, virtually compelled to clear the space.
Even though I kept eyeing the Christmas decorations, we dutifully put up all of the Halloween decorations (our backyard transforms into a Halloween Wonderland each year).
After the party this past Saturday, we put up the vintage decorations, and bustled about cleaning up the house. Mark emerged from the garage with a Santa hat on his head and it both cracked me up and delighted me as my heart is already swimming toward this holiday season. The weather Sunday felt amazing…a cool breeze as we moved about in the backyard.
We are invited to Thanksgiving dinner with sweet friends – a real ‘down home’ style Thanksgiving – and I already have the dessert menu planned out. Pumpkin Pie, Brownies and Banana Pudding ought to cover everyone’s cravings.
Yesterday, I woke up with the most unexplainable urge to listen to Christmas carols. Pandora streamed Christmas tunes, and though I couldn’t write to Bing Crosby’s White Christmas and had to switch back to classical instrumentals, the vibe must have been in the air.
When Chance came downstairs, he dressed Rico up in Mark’s Santa hat, and much to our surprise, Rico ‘posed’ (almost like Secretariat) for these photos. LOL
Rico is four now and in English Mastiff years that means middle age. It’s hard to believe our forever dog has been with us that long. He’s starting to get grey in his face and his left eyebrow has some grey too. He is still the same sweet, mellow fellow we took home so many years ago.
Mark and I were sanding down our kitchen table (the one we eat at each day), and I found myself feeling inexplicably joyful. It prompted me to think of these things I’m grateful for, but would probably not make it to the highest values list…here they are:
1. I can get in touch with Mark (my husband) any time day or night. This is something that hasn’t changed in 10 years. Mark is dependable with a cap D. If you ever want to get in touch with me, call him – 469-831-2450. You will always be able to get an answer or a very quick call back if he’s on the phone. Love you honey!
2. If I am feeling blah or off, I can look at Chance and he’ll smile. If I say something to Chance, he will stop what he’s doing, look right at me and say, “Hi Mom” and smile. Guaranteed. Life should always be that reliable.
3. I have a built-in Comedy Club at my house. Between the three of us, we probably laugh more per day than most people laugh in a week or a month. Mark’s witty humor is dry, silly and guaranteed to earn an out-loud laugh. Chance’s eager comedy style is true straight man, but still can bring me to laughing tears.
4. Rico will always be needier than the average Joe. This dog never ceases to remind me that sometimes a cup is never quite full enough. And, that includes the amount of love given and received. If you pet him for 10 minutes, he’ll want 20. If you pet him 20 minutes, he’ll want 10 more. Need I say more?
5. Manual labor connects you to the present. There’s just something special about cleaning a toilet, scrubbing a bathtub, washing dishes, planting a garden, sanding a table and everything else in between that brings you to the current moment and returns a fresh perspective about everything in general. Thus, the catalyst for this post.
6. A fully-stocked Target (insert your favorite store). Ever go into a store early in the morning when it is just fully stocked? What in life is quite so picture perfect? Rows and rows of Tide lined up like little soldiers ready to go home and fight grease and grime are literally one of my favorite views. I pick Target because the aisles are wider and the floor is so shiny and reflective. The entire shopping experience is a feast for the eyes. Red does something to me that blue doesn’t, and brown can’t.
7. A juicy-unopened magazine or book. I remember the instant I fell in love with magazines. I was about 7 years old and I held a Seventeen Magazine in my lap on the bus ride to school. I read every word of every page and couldn’t wait until the next issue would arrive some 22 days later. I remember dreaming about the clothes, wanting to re-do my room and, of course, write for a magazine that would make others feel just like I did at that moment in time. A new book, beckoning to be explored holds the same experience and feeling. Mmmmm.
8. Diving into a movie again. For me, watching a favorite movie is like going to an old friend’s house. I love I can reconnect to movies in this way and appreciate them over and over again. There’s just something special about some of them that calls to me again and again.
9. A sugar rush. Remember when we were little kids and would lick the little decorations from the cake. After pulling the big Barbie-style ornament from my birthday cake one year, I melted into a sugar-fugue that I’m reminded of every time I eat a cupcake, slice of cake or even watch children licking their fingers and ornamental decorations.
10. A summer’s eve spin. When I was 16, I fell in love with driving, and that love affair has only intensified over the years. Last November, I thought I had died and gone to heaven as Abby and I toodled around in her boyfriend, Cy’s, Porsche convertible and I took in the sweeping ocean front views of San Diego. The moderate temperatures combined with the speed underneath of us of God only know how many horsepower and the wind and sun dancing on our skin was like Heaven on Earth. Mmmmmm, even here in Texas as hot as it is, at 10 or so, you can spin around with the sun roof open sharing a moment or two with the wind, moon and stars. Perfection.
