Queen of Dreams Radio
Posts Tagged ‘Friendship’
A few months ago, I went to see Ellany, my friend and gal pal, because we planned to go get ‘makeovers.’
I can’t remember the specifics of how the comment came up when Ellany said, “I see you. When you have your make-up on, and are dressed in your girly shoes and dresses, I know that’s you. It’s SO you.”
There’s something about your truth that grabs you in the throat and heart and gut all at the same time. I blinked many times quickly so that I wouldn’t let the tears rushing from my throat to escape. I wondered, ‘Why does this touch me so deeply?’
I thought about that moment many times in the following weeks, wondering what it was that she could see and others haven’t. It reminded me of something Sonia Choquette said in one of the workshops I attended with her many years ago…I see you is the highest form of love. The truth is…I felt loved in that moment…to the depths of my soul.
It’s so easy for us to ‘see’ people’s flaws, their insecurities, their foibles, their mistakes and, sadly, I believe most people think this IS people’s truth – who they are. I know, FOR SURE, it isn’t. I have not met one person yet who doesn’t have a brimming, brightly-lit soul full of beauty and love. When we focus on people’s ‘ick,’ we energize it. When we focus on their truth, we energize it. What cuts to the negative, can just as easily cut to the positive. To see the love a person is – deep inside…that takes seeing with your heart. Looking with loving eyes.
I remember when I wrote my second book, I had many people telling me that I wasn’t this or wasn’t that. My agent at the time said I was “serious,” not whimsical and child-like like my book. She said my book was too “playful” and wasn’t “serious” enough. At the time, I was struggling to determine exactly who I was. I had been so good at being whatever I needed to be in any moment, the “me” that I am got lost along the way. My agent’s pressing words forced me to look to see what was real – what a gift!
I thought to myself, ‘Well, I can be TOO serious, but my heart, my spirit is playful. This is as “me” as it gets! I am the QUEEN OF POSSIBILITIES!!! It takes a childlike viewpoint of ANYTHING IS POSSIBLE to show up like this!’ I realized, too, that she identified with my business consultant side, which, in our experience together, had been dead serious, because her situation had required it…I showed up in the energy of ‘let’s MOVE’ because that is what the situation called for – dead serious, every moment counts, we must turn this ship around NOW!
The truth is, we all have EVERYTHING inside of us. Every facet, every aspect is waiting for us to express it, as needed. Our ‘expression’ is a blend of those facets we access most often. My entire inner (and outer) life is playing a game. If I shared how many games I have created for myself since I was a little girl, you would see that, to me, life is a big game to play. I make up games to get projects done. I make up games to clean the house. I even teach my inner games to others who just might like to play this way, too. And, just like playing a board game, the gamut of emotions are there too…serious, playful, competitive, concerned and more.
Anyone who knows me knows that I laugh a LOT…and bring a playfulness to serious things such as depression, being stuck, fear and the gamut of other human emotions we encounter along the way. I have lightened up along the way as I have discovered the game isn’t dead-serious. Do I act like I’m at the circus each day? No way – I’m playful, not a clown. One of the things I’m known for is bringing a “you can do this” attitude everywhere I go. However, I can bring a fire starter if people want it. I can bring an edge, too; however, it isn’t my preferred energy. I enjoy being laid-back, on-point and playful. Why do we need to be so SERIOUS all of the time??? Can’t we just do what we love and love the experience, including those we are serving?
That day, in the reflection of Ellany’s eyes and words, I felt that she saw me… my spirit… my truth. And, that is about as good as life gets. Pure magic! Thank you, Ellany!
Tigers…playful and yet dead-serious! 
Looking for a Dream Life:
I’ve had the opportunity to talk to several people who have been reading my praises for The King’s Speech, and each one has asked me, “What exactly is it that you see in this story?” No doubt they can feel my enthusiasm floating off of each blog post, but perhaps I haven’t communicated all that I felt from this movie…a great story of triumph!
As I watched the Oscars last night, I truly felt the presence of love as Colin thanked Olivia for being in his life…not unlike Sandra Bullock’s heartfelt tribute the year before to her husband at the time, Jesse James, which I believe was as real as anything regardless of what happened afterward – that moment was true. Natalie Portman, in love with love growing in her belly, also swept the big awards this year.
I asked Mark, “Have you ever noticed how people who are in love seem to leap to greater heights?” Perhaps I put two seemingly random connection points together, but it made me think about my own life and how when Mark and I first met everything seemed to bloom … it seemed like nothing would not grow in that energy. I had never known unconditional love like that before…it buoyed my spirit (I’ll share more thoughts on this and how love grows deeper over time in another post).
Great love…that’s what I see when I watch The King’s Speech. I see a man who stutters who has great love for his children, his wife, his country, but he does not yet have that great love for himself. Enter two others who bring heavy-duty mirrors to show him the love he is…to assist him in reclaiming his voice. Lionel (his speech therapist and friend) brings tough love and the unrelenting challenge of pushing the would-be King to be all that he already is. Elizabeth, the Duke’s wife, will not give up on love or on her husband. Her love holds space for the love the Duke already is to grow. In her Presence, he can bloom…and that is just like what I see in these actors…they bloom, grow more vibrant in the swirl of love. The King found his voice and acceptance (a.k.a. love) for himself through love – both friendship and deep romantic love as well as the love of his children. In so many ways, it is the most perfect example of ‘love conquers all.’
The saying, “Behind every great man is a woman no one knows,” and every other version of it seems to say that a great man is great and the woman is unknown, but the truth is without the woman, the man likely would not have been great. And so I see this, too, in The King’s Speech. In our day and age, there are as many men standing behind a woman, loving them…seeing them. Both necessary, equally as critical to the whole. Click on the image below to go to a great clip of “Elizabeth” in this stunning movie!
Looking for a Dream Life:
A couple of weeks ago, I had two different friends ‘connect’ in the ether to ‘send some love’ and both thought, “Ooooh, something is very wrong with Tina, she doesn’t feel like herself.”
About a week after that, I was telling each of them of what was going on with me…what had transpired the week before. Both said, “I knew something was off, but I thought maybe you just needed some space.”
In this instance, a phone call sharing what they were each feeling/seeing would have been really helpful, even gratefully received.
I told each of them, “Please, please the next time you feel something like that with me, TELL ME!”
In this instance, I had a big energetic disruption that kept me from being all ‘me.’
We laughed about how funny things are, how we make up stories about not wanting to upset the person, about dismissing ourselves as being judgmental or intrusive or whacked or whatever else is our ‘not acceptable attribute.’
One thing I learned early on as a business consultant is that when I am truly in my heart, sharing what I see, people can take it. They may not like it (read: The Ego may want to scratch your eyeballs out), but their heart will hear the truth. Then their ego will come around.
I believe we need each other to be out best. Sometimes we can’t see or don’t want to see. Those who love us can see what we can’t…and from a place of love, the guidance will be accepted…whether the ego likes it or not! 
A good friend answers truthfully… the question, “Does my butt look big in this dress?”
Today (right now – 5 am), one of my bestest friends in the world, Miss Debbie, will be walking in the Susan G. Komen 3-Day Walk for the Cure. This 3-day, 60 mile trek is to raise awareness and funds for breast cancer. Some other people I know will be walking, too, (hi Bethany! and Jeannine! and Karel Anne!); however, this post is dedicated to Miss Debbie.
I met Debbie nearly 14 years ago through my employer. When I left that job, she became one of my marketing clients. Since then, we’ve gotten to know each other much better (including finding out we have the same birth date!), and we’ve both seen ‘action’ in this thing we call life.
Five years ago, Debbie found out she had breast cancer. This year, she is walking to celebrate her fifth anniversary of being a cancer survivor. She is doing this for herself and other survivors and for those who may survive from the efforts put forth by organizations like the Susan G. Komen Foundation.
Today, as I celebrate Debbie’s spice of life, I want to share just a few reasons (there are so many!!!) why I’m so grateful that Miss Debbie is a dear friend, part of my life and an integral part of my life journey.
1. Debbie marches to the beat of her own drum. Way back when, she used smiley faces and ellipses and dashes and ways of talking in email that absolutely made my heart leap for joy. When I saw her doing it, I started doing it, too. Yes, even the guys enjoy an occasional xxoo!
2. Debbie is on fire for life. She is all about the EXPERIENCE! One year, I did this birthday project for her and I got to see that most everything I wrote to her was about how she DEVOURED life. I’ve learned a lot from watching her eat life one day at a time. We have laughed for hours upon hours over the years…life is better with a friend!
3. Debbie has her own style. Put on your big girl panties and deal with it is woven into a pillow that she had sitting in her chair one day. She does this and more…with the savviness that makes MEMORABLE stand out in my mind. I’ll never forget the red shoes she wore to celebrate her last day of chemo. That’s style!
4. Debbie is no BS. As loving and as Pollyanna as she can be, she can pull out her General Patton and motivate you to be more than you can even conceive of for yourself. She reminds me that love comes in all kinds of forms.
5. Debbie has a big heart that is as big as the world. I’ve heard from people all over the world about little things she does with such love that makes a huge difference in the hearts and lives of others. When she was ill, that love came back in spades…wrapped in cards, food, gifts and an unbelievably huge helping of love. She is always looking for ways to serve others, connect people and make the world a better place.
Debbie, the world is a better place because you are in it! I’m celebrating your five-year anniversary and can’t wait to celebrate your 25-year anniversary! Good luck on the walk today, tomorrow and the next day. Our hearts are with you!
If you want to donate to the Cure, here’s a link! http://www.the3day.org/goto/DebbieMrazek
In true Miss Debbie style, she urged each person to donate just $1. She has more than tripled the amount asked to raise…and that’s just her style! She always does more than asked…with a smile!
Love you, Deb!
Miss Debbie and I spent an afternoon this week in a play date, a.k.a. Seymour Group (inspired by the fabulous Henriette Anne Klauser in her book, Write It Down Make It Happen).
We used to do Seymour Group every single Friday afternoon but with jet set-schedules taking Miss Debbie around the globe every week and the new projects I have on the burner, we’ve been getting together every other month or so. Such as it is, Seymour Group is still a place to come together to breathe, celebrate each other and to share ideas.
This week, I picked up Chinese food on the way over, and we both cracked up when we opened our fortune cookies and had the SAME fortune! I’ve never had this happen. But what was even more magical…what our fortunes said! Your loyalties are clear when it comes to friends. We thought that was a hoot!
Speaking of loyalties and friends…Mark, Chance and I watched the sweetest movie about the power of the connection between an owner and his loyal best friend. The movie is Hachiko and Richard Gere plays lead with Joan Allen as his wife. An amazing crew of Akitas play Hachiko at various ages. This is based on a true story, and you all should’ve seen us when we finished watching that movie – puffy, red, swollen eyes! Yes, but oh so worth the trip to know the faith, devotion and loyalty of a dog like Hachiko.
P.S. This photo is fuzzy, but we tried to share this with you! Maybe if you squint you can see it. Oh, and the backdrop is Amy Sedaris’s book, I Like You: Hospitality Under the Influence. I just noticed she has another book coming out the beginning of November…looks like another hilarious title: Simple Times: Crafts for Poor People.