Queen of Dreams Radio
Posts Tagged ‘Creativity’
I’m still on blog vacation, but I’m certainly not doing nothing! I’ve entered into an intense creative spurt and having a great time.
Speaking of creative spurts, my mom gave me the most amazing gift for my birthday! It’s Sally Jean Alexander’s Crownalicious video workshop. Mom cut out all of the glass for me and brought everything I needed. It was like a sweet little basket of goodness. Thanks, Mom!
If you love making sweet, beautiful things, maybe Sally Jean’s workshop is for you! The creative spirit is always ready for you when you are ready for it.
Looking for a Dream Life:
About a week or so ago, Dusty Rose, (a.k.a. mom), sent me a cryptic email that said…Go here and call me tomorrow!
That email contained a link to Erin Smith’s sassy, irreverent web site. She has a ‘bloog’ instead of a ‘blog’ lest you get confused and ‘expect’ her to blog each day.
Mom said she knew I would love Erin’s style…sassy, true you. And, she was right. I did love everything about it… even the ‘warning label’ on her bloog, especially the part about swearing like a sailor with his foot on fire:
this is erin’s bloog. what the hell’s a bloog??
if it was a "blog" it would create false expectations in people . you might bug me to write everyday. some days i don’t even have time to brush my teeth, much less write. i’d love to be able to..alas. hence the made up word ‘bloog’. it means i can write whenever i damn want. THIS IS AN NC-17 BLOOG. i swear like a sailor with his foot on fire. if this offends you please hit the red x on the top right of your screen now. if anything you read here offends you, PLEASE do not write me and tell me about it. again. hit the red x on the top right of your screen, and don’t return to the bloog. no one is MAKING you read it. problem solved.
If you want to plug in to Erin’s world for a while, pull up a chair (you are likely to be there a while) and bring a cup of tea. Her art is cool, and she is too. Her irreverent style may not be to everyone’s liking, but I am so with her on the…if you don’t like it…move along! 
For me, I don’t have to ‘like’ everything a person is or does to appreciate their brand of authenticity. What I like most about people who are keeping it real is the energy of… here I am – take it or leave it! There’s a decisiveness that goes along with that, which is quite delightful.
Looking for a Dream Life:
Yesterday, I woke up and the left part of my body, from the shoulder to the middle of my rib cage ached like an angry vengeance. My breast, in particular, ached and throbbed with a searing burn I have only experienced a couple of other times.
“I am tired of all of this work,” my body seemed to say. “Let’s play.”
But, I had other plans for that day. A long list of to-dos and some things that have been waiting on me that only I can do. Oh, and don’t forget phone calls and such.
“Let’s play…let’s take a break,” my body beckoned. But I did not listen.
The day went along and the searing in my chest grew more intense with every item I checked off the list. Check, check, check and while part of me was satisfied, my body was raging against the day’s events.
Last night, I dropped into bed with an unbearable pain that I can’t even remember having to that severity.
This morning, I woke up and the pain – my body – was there to greet me.
“Okay, you win,” I said. “What shall we do today?” And as I relinquished my stranglehold on myself, images of my mother came flooding into my mind.
Just a couple of months after I turned 20, my mother found out that she had a fibroid tumor about the size of a large grapefruit. I didn’t know at the time that she had literally been bleeding to death for nearly a year. As I tromped around in my own smoggy wedding ideals, I could not even find an ounce of compassion for my mother who seemed to be more tired than normal. My intuition told me something was wrong, but I was 20 and selfish and focused only on what I wanted, so I just blew it off.
Today, as I these flooded my mind, I knew what took her there – a desire to be an artist, trapped in a State job with its dependability and leash of security, and a never-ending pile of bills and kids still in high school that demanded all kinds of things that cost money.
She ended up having an emergency hysterectomy. Before she could have surgery, she required a tremendous blood transfusion as she literally was nearly bled out. This is the stoicism and strength that I carry in me. How easy it is to ignore one’s body!
Today, my mother’s memory came to greet me and to remind me to take care of myself. To have compassion for the part of me that no one may know of or even see that still requires my time and attention. To allow the creative to flow and to dance. As soon as I surrendered to a day of quiet solitude – even a few hours – the burning in my left breast vanished and my energy soared.
I threw on a little denim jacket that I’ve worn for many years, but have not worn at all this year. It is a simple Liz Claiborne jacket with two chest pockets. The left one, that is just above that same left breast that yelled out today, has a quarter size hole in it. Not only did the pocket have a hole, but also the material underneath it in the jacket.
Coincidence? You decide.
