Queen of Dreams Radio
One of the things people ask me most often is…What’s it like to live like you do? I often find myself wondering what to say as I think of myself as an everyday girl.
I laugh like you do, I cry like you do, I wonder about things like you do, I grieve like you do, and I doubt just like you do.
I believe people think just because I have a ‘gift’ or a natural talent for connecting that I just accept it as normal and call it a day. I do more so now than ever, but it hasn’t always been the case.
For instance, a few summers back, when I worked with Betsy Bergstrom at a mediumship workshop.As a medium, Mark wondered why I would even need to or want to go to this ‘beginner’ class. I didn’t know why, but just went. Something said… “Go." Betsy told us she had many beings who ‘volunteered’ to come work with us. There were Christian icons such as Jesus, Mother Mary, Mary Magdalene, and other Goddesses, such as Kali, Ixchel, Isis and others.
As she rattled off the names, she asked each of us to feel into which ones we would like to ‘directly’ connect with in the inner circle. Think table in the middle with a big group of people in a circle around the table lending support.
My mind wanted to ‘pick’…not allow the feeling to come. But I knew I wanted to just go with what came. My mind also wanted to contemplate the existence of these beings. I wondered to myself, “Was Isis even a real person? I thought she was a God the Egyptians made up.” My Christian influence came up, too, making me scared of what I was getting myself into. Still, I quieted the chatter box and went with the process, trusting my Guardian, Lone Wolf, to help keep me safe.
As we strolled one by one with these beings coming in and out, I could feel how each one was SO different. It was like ‘tasting’ different energy. The energy was so palpable, so beautiful and soon I was fully engaged. Then, Betsy said, Isis to mark that Isis was coming in. Before I knew it, I saw this amazing woman (think Wonder Woman that is glowing and shiny) was standing in front of me pointing at me saying, “You, I want to talk to you!”
I’ve made no bones about being very fearful for most of my life, but having this powerful energy standing in front of me pointing at me scared me. So many thoughts flooded my head. What does she want with me? Aaaargh, I’m scared, go away. What does this mean? What does she want with ME? Who am I? I’m no one…go away.
As we each noted the ‘three’ we would directly channel I couldn’t help but feel like I had betrayed Jesus, and others. If I listened to my feelings I would go with these Goddesses I didn’t even know.
It turned out that I could hear all of them perfectly whether I was in the inner circle or the outer circle. Jesus came through loud and clear and I had an amazing time with Him.
When it was time to be in the inner circle with Isis, I was really scared – excited, yes, and scared. I could not believe how powerful her energy was. It was so strong and mighty is the word that comes to mind. Mighty! She came nearer and then whispered, “Come with me, let us go on a trip.” I saw this brilliant white horse and this amazing Goddess turn to move and she looked at me as I put my hand up to hers – a miniature me appeared in my mind’s eye. She took me on a trip around the stars, the sun and the moon talking about how all of these are the same, and how we are all the same, and how we are all that ever was. Soon, I let go of the fear and enjoyed the magical ride around time and space, and before I knew it I was back in my body, fully alert and sure that I would never be the same.
I’m just like you are. I used to constantly guard my competency, wanting so badly to be ‘normal’ just like everyone else. Wondering if I was making all of this up, and every time I wondered, finding myself with four or five forms of validation for my competent mind. Soon, just like with Isis, I took my hands off the rein to let go and enjoy this amazing magical ride called life in a way that I can fully feel it, enjoy it and taste it.
Now I know that everything is energy, and the many, many people who worshipped Isis added to her beingness…whether real or not real…she is an energetic power in our Universe. I am so grateful to have been able to learn from these Mother-God, Mother-Love beings (Mother Mary, Kuan Yin, Isis, Kali) that we are the creators of all our creations…created from the Creator of All That Is.
