I’m feeling particularly grateful this Easter. The theme of death and resurrection has been swirling around me for a couple of months now. In February, I encountered a moment of such extreme pain in my emotional body that I came home angry… demanding that I be healed from it.
“I’m so sick of this!” I cried to God. “Why does this keep happening?” The culprit… the fear of being misunderstood. Ever since I was a child I would go into a fit of extreme anguish and anger over anyone who didn’t understand what I meant by something I said.
I’m so utterly empathic I can’t separate myself from knowing that I’m being dismissed when they say things like… “I know, I know.” But they don’t. And I KNOW they don’t know. I can feel it.
But what part of me cares? As I came home, trying to unravel the parts of me that were ‘concerned’ and those that were just ‘fine’ not being understood, I realized I didn’t care…I just wanted whatever part of me that did to be healed. So that’s what I asked for.
Over the years, I’ve experienced a great deal of healing and amazing experiences with Divine Messengers.
That Friday was one of the MOST memorable.
First, I saw the Grandfathers as I call them. These shamans – there are four of them who teach me about how the Universe works…about healing…about how we are all related and how we are One with all we are in all existence. They teach from a native viewpoint – everything is alive. This is the viewpoint I most closely relate to in what I feel and have experienced in the world.
As I lay in my bed meditating…praying…receiving…I heard these beautiful chants from what felt like my ancestors. I could only feel the rhythm in my body of this chanting coming from every cell within my body, and soon I felt like my body was floating in All That Is. I saw beautiful women dancing around the fire…a huge bonfire…and it was as if I was looking at it from two feet away… as if it was in a fishbowl. The scene was very close to me and small…intense yet peaceful feelings emanating from the dancing.
Then, as I watched these beautiful dark skinned women, I saw an image of Jesus coming up from behind the fire. And in his arms there I was… my body laying in his arms and he threw me into the fire. I saw my body literally go ‘up in smoke’ – becoming a wisp of spirit – and returned to Truth.
As graphic as that might sound, I felt so, so, so much better and the fear or whatever the misunderstanding part is…has not returned. I feel that ‘I’ have died in a lot of ways – over time – the last several years. I also feel that a part of me that I feared was dead has come alive again in this ‘death.’
I heard Jesus say as He dropped my body into the fire… ‘What was old is now new again.’
Thank you… thank you… thank you… I’m so grateful!