In our neighborhood, we have a ‘volunteer’ association. This means that we don’t pay home owners association dues unless we choose to do so. One of the ‘benefits’ of donating is that you get Crimewatch emails that detail every crime that has been committed within a 10 to 15 mile radius of our little neighborhood. You also get a little newsletter that, again, highlights the crimewatch items.

When we first moved into our home, which is nestled into a little neighborhood of perhaps 60 houses total, and that backs up to a greenbelt that is lined by a creek, we signed up for the volunteer association. Back then, while I knew that old adage, what you focus on expands, I wasn’t quite as sensitive to it as I am now.

That first year, nothing seemed to make its way to us. We didn’t receive the Crimewatch emails and very rarely received a newsletter. I didn’t think much about it, and didn’t donate again because, quite frankly, I forgot and no one asked us to donate.

Then, about three years later, while I was in the middle of my own crisis, we were stopped on the street by the person who does the Crimewatch bulletin. Apparently, he knew those of us who weren’t donating. Our conversion van had been parked out front, and though I repeatedly asked Mark to bring it to the back (we have a gated back drive) as I felt something was off, he didn’t and the van was broken into and the big screen TV, DVD, and Chance’s childhood DVD collection were stolen. The man who stopped us said, “Now, maybe you will contribute to the association. Do you want to volunteer for the Crimewatch team?”

I remember standing on the street feeling a tiny bit of fear about being invaded, and then this man’s pounding energy flying at us with such bitterness.

We donated, just like we did before, when asked. To me, I don’t really think about this sort of thing. It certainly wasn’t personal. At the time, I was in very low frequency, too; a neighborhood donation paled in comparison to other concerns. A perfect match such as it was. I began receiving these emails filled with this intense hatred and agitation. I couldn’t read them … they were filled with too much energy. What I remember most was the lists of crimes and this man’s stories about how someone stole his identity and then it had happened to his brother…on and on it went.

I was sitting here about to update my bio when one of his emails popped up on my auto email alert, and all I saw was the first line… I haven’t received any crimewatch alerts. Apparently, he has passed the baton to someone not so organized as he.

Today, his presence brings me gratitude. I’m thankful I’m my mother’s daughter – the woman who left her purse in a Wal Mart parking lot and a young man returned it, complete with the $100 dollars from the check she cashed and her two checkbooks; one personal and one business. I’m grateful that even on that day when our van was broken into, I knew things would be okay; they always are. I’m grateful I’m not preoccupied with the insanity of others…and the experiences that insanity brings to others.

I’m also grateful for the man who, until today, I didn’t realize was an angel sent to me to show me how I was feeling at the time… it’s us against them. Today, I know that’s not true. And, for that, I’m delighted to send him love and hope that one day soon he knows that for himself, too.

A few weeks ago, I got to visit Italy, Canada and a whole lot of Creative Spaces from other bloggers.

One of them stood out to me in brilliant nature…A Cottage in the Woods. If you’d like to have a wonderful trip to the woods, go here and enjoy!

I’m not sure if you all ever visit creative, artsy blogs, but they have been an obsession of mine for nearly two years. I dream in these graphics and art-full things. I love to collage and find vintage treasures.

I know that spirituality and art don’t necessarily go together, but I do know that the spirit is creative. I’ll post some more faves, too, soon.

Loved Vicki’s 2 Bags Full bird style and her stories…plus the travel! Bring a cup of tea to this visit. Oh, and speaking of travel, remember that Eat Pray Love comes out Friday, August 13!

Today, I sat under the fan in our den and enjoyed the cool breeze. I had been in and out in the hot, humid air and the breeze felt like a sheer indulgence that must have been meant to be savored as it felt so delightful to me.

As I enjoyed the sensation of the breeze on my skin, I looked around the room and noticed a few things I haven’t looked at in quite a while. We have two angel prints that hang on a wall where you can’t see them unless you are facing a particular angle. I bought those and several other angel prints when I divorced my first husband. They brought me tremendous comfort as I would return to my apartment each night. I never lived alone until I was 28, and though I love being alone, going home to an empty apartment – especially one that was located at the back of an apartment complex near a creek – could be a little scary.

I remember how hard it was to make that decision to leave. I was full of fear – Would I go to hell for divorce? Would I make a huge mistake? Had I given the relationship my all? Could I make it on my own?

Now, nearly fourteen years later, I know that I made the best decision for me. I did well on my own and enjoyed it very much. Today, I am married to my soul mate and have a beautiful son I wouldn’t have otherwise.

Sometimes the simple moments– like relaxing under the fan – are full of so much more than we could have ever dreamt at the time.

Ever receive a song written especially for you? Wouldn’t it be wonderful to write a song for someone you love?

A friend wrote this song for me… all I can say is…Wow!

Today is a day like none ever known

The day when a bright light was born

Dancing through life a day at a time

Today is the day to let your light shine

Happy Birthday

Happy Birthday

Happy Birthday to you

One of the things people said over and over this year was… I’m so happy you were born. Now, maybe you have heard that all of your life, but I haven’t and each time I heard it I felt deeply touched.

Another friend sent this scrumptious art creation… Can you even believe it???

Last year, I wanted to do something special for a dear friend. I came up with the idea of sending a birthday card for every year she has been here – one for each year she was celebrating.

At first, I thought I would whip these out one a day, and I did for about a week, and then it was one every three or four days, and sometimes it was one every five days or so… MONTHS later… Let’s see, we share the same b-day, and I believe we finished around the first of the year… you do the math… July through January! LOL Good thing it is the thought that counts!

I enjoyed it so much and found myself not wanting to rush and wanting to really savor the experience. This took time and it is something I would recommend to anyone who really wants to consider how many years a person has lived… a card a year doesn’t seem like much until you start. And, that was exactly my intention… to really consider what makes a life and to celebrate my friend’s precious life in an extremely intentional way.

Do something fun, do something creative for someone you love today!

Where have the days gone? Gone with the birthday wind! That’s where! I have to say that this birthday just keeps getting better and better. More on that in another post.

I had lunch with two friends and that lunch was so joy-full! We laughed, we cracked up. We talked about teetering on high-heels. I told a story about how Oprah has five minute shoes where she can only walk from the back of the stage to the front of the stage and that’s it. One of my friends said, “I’ve got shoes like that.” And the other friend said, “Hey, I only wear 48 hour shoes.” I laughed so hard and so loud that the sound echoed off of the walls at Brio, an Italian restaurant. Now, that was funny. What a great time. We were there three hours and some change, and our little waiter never once forgot about us. He kept patiently refilling our water glasses and was SO sweet. When I opened my gift (see below), he asked my friend where she got the Miracle Worker mug because he wanted to get one for his wife. *Sigh* Can’t you just love him without even meeting him just for that??? We did!

If you like the items above, the company is MUD and you can find these at Hallmark stores. I’ve been given many MUD items and they are all amazing and unique!

Anyone who knows me knows I love roses. My mother-in-law gave me these beauties and I put them in a vase I got from Miss Debbie and the Sales Diva last year at the Dallas Sales Stiletto Bootcamp.

This year, the cards were off the hook. A friend gave me this one and I had to share it because of how unusual it was… see the fortune… it pulls out and this is what it says (bottom left): There will be happiness in your smile, joy in your step, and your path will be filled with nothing but dreams coming true. Oh yes!!

My sweet little family made me this card (see above) and stocked me up on art supplies that I’ve already put to good use. We love them and it’s nice to be loved, too.

I love sparkly things. Can you see how SPARKLY this card is? This friend also sent me a note with glitter and stars all over it.

I believe everything is BETTER with glitter and sparkle. It matches what I see inside of people.

We are all light-filled glitter balls underneath the surface.

This card just was so yum-o.

I absolutely cracked up at this card. I was laughing so hard, I had tears rolling down my cheeks. I felt like this little girl… I had been eating so many desserts and cakes! And then… our sweet Main Street Angel added her little… Of Dreams… how perfect. Thanks, Nancine!

THEN, it came at about 3 pm on my actual birthday… just the way I felt it would. My book – FINALLY – here so I could hold it in my hot little hands! How cool… and I’m so excited about sharing it with you and the world! Happy Birthday to me… to you too… and the world as well.

Thanks to all who shared my b-day… more on some very cool, very unusual gifts this year… I hope you are inspired to do something special for others, too!

An Honorable Mention! Hey everyone, not sure if you are familiar with the boutique publisher, Skirt!, which is dedicated to women and topics they care about.

After writing my heartfelt Independence Day email to you, I serendipitously ended up at the Skirt! site and noticed they were having an essay Freedom Challenge. I copied and pasted what I wrote for all of you, and just got an email saying that it earned an honorable mention.

Check out the other essays… the winner and runners up!

I haven’t entered an actual writing contest since Mr. Reed, my creative writing teacher in high school, threatened to fail me if I didn’t enter my short story in the TCU writing contest for high school students! Though I won first place, it has taken many years to actually believe that writing what I want to write can be a significant part of my life. Perhaps this is why that essay just flew right out of my heart. I believe I can live my own dream life now at a level that is so palpable it is hard to describe. With that belief, the prison door has opened and I’ve walked right on out!Whatever your dream…you can live it and know what it truly means to be free – mind, body and spirit!

Here’s my essay… in case you missed it in email.

To Be Truly Free, Let Freedom Ring!

The Stars and Stripes, American patriotism, Betsy Ross, the Constitution, the Declaration of Independence…all hold a dear place in my heart, and have for nearly four decades. The Fourth of July has always been one of my favorite holidays

I never was quite sure why before. But, now I believe I have an idea of what it is that makes me so indescribably happy when I think of this country and what it stands for.

I realize that in our country many of us have never gone without water, most of us take for granted that we can walk down the street without fear and certainly, we aren’t concerned about dying for speaking our truth. We have so much freedom; we are literally drowning in a gift we can barely recognize. Instead, many of us who have grown up in this amazing country have switched to another type of oppression: self-imposed oppression. In this, one can’t live freely because the constraints are self-directed and built within the chamber of the mind, written on the heart with fear, apathy and self-loathing.

For many years, I read about and studied immigrants who came to our country with their hearts open and their minds full of possibility of what America has to offer them. They do not know anything other than what the dream has told them is possible… You can create anything in the land of opportunity. There’s this place called America where anything is possible! You only have to be willing to work and you can have anything you dream of.

They board boats and airplanes by the millions to come to experience freedom and to be truly free. They come to enjoy freedom of creative power; the type of freedom Americans have been born into and are not even aware of because we are too busy building our own internal prisons!

These immigrants sacrificed everything they have ever known – comfort of family living nearby, money saved over a lifetime, a network of colleagues and friends – to experience the American Dream in the Land of Opportunity. They still believe in the dream America has to offer. Many create fortunes in record time as they are not handicapped by our Americanized handicapped thinking and built-in limitations. They literally walk into our country free in body, mind and spirit to create and be ANYTHING they dream of.

I have felt intimately connected to this country and its forefathers…men who were willing to die for freedom. My highest value is feeling free and feeling good. Freedom is so important to me that every moment that feels constrained feels like an eternity spent in prison. I cannot imagine the strength or conviction it took for Nelson Mandela to make peace with his incarceration. Freedom is a feeling, state of mind and knowing all wrapped up in the expansiveness of possibility.

Our country’s visionaries were willing to give their lives to what they believed was true. They were willing to take action on what they dreamed of for themselves, their families and future generations. I often imagine what it must have been like for them. There was NOTHING here waiting for them. They would come to this land with nothing but their dream in hand and a few supplies for the journey ahead. Just like immigrants today. What appeared to be nothing was a land full of everything they would ever need for their dream. And, so much more than they could have ever imagined when they first set forth with only a vision in hand.

‘What must that have been like? What were they thinking as they dove into the unknown,’ I have wondered since I was a little girl. In the past, I often focused on how hard it must have been. I would think, ‘Oh, I’m so lucky to be here in my lifetime.’ I’ve been grateful for their vision and our country, and yet I thought, ‘Oh, I could never have done what they did. How courageous they were!’

Today, with a newfound sense of freedom in my heart that has come with my own visionary dream, I imagine that they were excited. I imagine that they weren’t focusing on the hard work. I have the sense that they enjoyed the journey of following their dream – no matter where the journey took them. Today, I KNOW they were ALIVE in every part of their beings with a dream that was ablaze in their hearts. Just like immigrants today. Just like I am today.

Freedom is a gift that rings from within first, and flows out into the world to others who want to believe it exists, too. It is the sound a heart makes when it is in tune with the bell bearer’s dream. Some of us can’t hear the bell ring anymore, but that doesn’t mean it doesn’t ring for those who have already responded to its call. Our forefathers rang a bell 234 years ago that can still be heard around the world in the hearts of immigrants who want to believe anything is possible.

To be truly free, our hearts, minds and bodies must move and love as one. That’s when we can hear the call of our heart, which delivers us peacefully to the freedom that has always been there waiting for us.

Last week on Queen of Dreams Radio, I talked about being the flow, living in the present and soaking up the amazing-ness of life. I have floated around on birthday dreams and wishes for more than a week now, and I wanted to share with you some of these.

I thought about this… and a remark someone made, actually, about someone else is what made me think… this isn’t about me and my birthday, this is about gratitude for those who make my life rich… with their creativity, with their Presence and with their loving kindness.

Yes, life is sweet! I wanted to share the love with you… to inspire you to create something for someone you love.

Can you see the quote? I arise in the morning torn between a desire to improve the world and a desire to enjoy the world. This makes it hard to plan the day. – E.B. White Remember E.B.? He’s the guy who wrote Charlotte’s Web, Stuart Little and the little guide book every writer MUST HAVE… Elements of Style by he and his pal, William Strunk, Jr.  It wasn’t lost on me that E.B. came at a synchronous moment…as I have been pondering the intersection of the two…to both improve (or contribute to it) while also immensely enjoying it. I believe we each have an intersection in our hearts for experiencing that.

This is the first birthday card of the season… Miss Debbie and I have a big PLAY DATE planned next week, so this little card arrive in the mail with this little card tucked inside.

I went to lunch with another friend, and we had a scrumptious lunch at Houston’s (one of my favs) and then head over to Celestial Park, which is one of her favs. Now, one of my favs, and this is something no one has ever done for me – ever – on my birthday – thank you! And, yes, it is still this green here in Texas.

See that oblong shaped plaque? My friend stood at one end and I stood at the other and she sang happy birthday to me. The echo was beautiful and I felt like the Queen of the Stars! Those round plaques are the phases of the moon. If you match up the phases, then you can talk to each other across the open area.

Here’s the entryway to the upper deck area where the plaques are. Each one of the stairs has poems about the stars. This park is so special and starry!

The next day, some friends came over and brought this yummy cake… Italian Wedding Cream… can you say, “Forget the easy weight loss!” LOL So yummy.

One of the best things about this birthday has been the magic quality surrounding it that has persisted, I believe, because of where I’ve been living myself. These dear friends shared with us a project they were working on a couple of weeks ago. That was fun, cool and totally exciting, but then they asked… “Do you want to go with us? On tour?” I felt like, “How fast can I pack my bags? Oh yes!!” More details to come on that, and I can’t even wait for you to hear all about it because YOU will love it, too, and come do it with us. Shhhh, don’t tell, but it’s all about you, your dreams and getting the link up to anything that’s possible!

More tomorrow on this amazing birthday… full of love. Happy Birthday to you, too!

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Last Sunday, our world enjoyed a solar eclipse. These events happen about every 18 months, and usher in all kinds of energetic gifts. I really have never known much about how all the star gazing and that stuff worked until I followed my insatiable curiosity about this solar eclipse to watch a special on the National Geographic Channel.

I’m fascinated by Quantum Physics and astronomy…I’ve written about this many times before – GO TO YOUR PLANETARIUM if you ever feel overwhelmed here in the world – you’ll get a huge perspective shift! Our universe is vast and filled with so many gifts!

This special teaches how these eclipses affect our world and how understanding them better allows us to also understand our own world. Here in North America, the eclipse wasn’t visible, but Easter Island was the place where it could be seen easily (that’s why they called it The Easter Island Eclipse).

Check out these spectacular photos… And, don’t forget, you can see these photos daily at the NASA Photo of the Day site.

Wow, the other day, I wrote an entry that took me to this site because when I went to search for an image, I typed in “grace.”

Something on the site drew me in and I looked closer and this GRACE is actually a NASA project that measures the magnetic field of our little planet. I thought you might like to see it as it appears that Peru is in one of the hot spots. Of course, we all know there are some areas stronger than others, but Peru and others are really ‘hot’ so to speak.

As I looked at the maps and noticed the energy of the hot spots, I felt so much compassion for our little Mother Earth. How beautiful she is!

Oh, and NASA also has a picture of the day… these are amazing! If you haven’t visited a planetarium lately… highly recommended as you will get to see how vast ‘the Universe’ truly is and how amazingly mysterious it is too. It’s like falling in love with creation.

Look at these… amazing! So different from day to day!

The third photo from the bottom is a time-lapse image of ‘star trails’… isn’t that tremendously hypnotic? Now, look at the last one…from the day of the solar eclipse. A time warp.

Kids who love space would enjoy these so much. I felt magnetized to their beauty. Wouldn’t this be an awesome gift to send a link to someone on their birthday? You could even send one for any occasion. Sweet!

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I haven’t posted about biz in quite a long time. I’m working out how this is going to emerge for me, but I felt inspired by two ladies who make my heart sing and wanted to share.

When I was a marketer, my ‘specialty’ was helping companies grow very fast. The truth is… I wasn’t really a marketer per se, I was more of an aligner. I just helped people feel good in their business and then their businesses would take off. I didn’t know it back then, but I do now. Not sure what I’ll do with this info, but it seems important as it keeps making appearance after appearance!

One of the things I notice about people who love their businesses is that they love the people they serve. Not only do they love the people they serve, but they also love themselves enough to be true to who they are. In all that they do, you can see ‘them’ in everything. Here are two examples I thought you would like to see (below). There’s no disconnect between what you see and what you get. For me, Tracy Porter has been my model for being true for a very long time. She definitely marches to her own drum! What a love she is.

If you’ve never met Tracy… she used to be a model and appears in all of her catalogs alongside other members of her beautiful family…she has four boys (that are amazingly adorable), her sisters, mom and dad, and of course her sweet husband.

Everything Tracy does is romantic, lovely and inspiring. Ultimately, everything Tracy does is very her – very True You! These goodies (above) are what you receive when you order something from her company.

The I Love You gum box is full of Chicklet type peppermint gum. Her radio show… Inspiring Women to Be True to Themselves… to me, Tracy has been a shining light for me to do the same. I often would say, “If Tracy can be fully all that she is, silly, zany, creative and successful… so can I!”

This gives true meaning to Marianne Williamson’s quote:

“And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.”

Tracy has written in the dedication one of her books, Dreams from Home, “For my brother, Danny, who assured me ten years ago that my paper, scissors, and glue would never fetch me a career. (KMA)” She added a little heart to the KMA, but when I saw that… there was something in me that awakened… Yes, I can!

Tracy, you have inspired me to let my own light shine because you shine so brightly – thank you! I realize now how powerful it is to be a living example of what we most value and believe in. I’m there!

I received this envelope a month or so ago. How yummy would this be to receive in your mailbox? Violette’s little picture with bubble saying, “Hi Tina!!” felt like a treasure dropped off by the heavens. Inside, I found this wonderful postcard (see at the top… with the cover of her book).

Inside, the book was tucked into a cellophane envelope with this stamp on it… can you see what it says? Art heals…Play More Have Fun… Oh yes, I was delighting in it so much. And, yes, I’m just like you… I have so many crafty, creative ideas and then it takes me a month to take the photos to put them up here! So what… better now than never. I am constantly writing in my head, so the writing is done, it’s just catching up with my inner artist here in the world.

Violette’s artwork is so ‘her’… even the lettering is her. This book rocked my inner artist. Violette’s passion for creating spoke loudly to a part of me I had not been playing with fully in a very long time. Since I received this, I’ve created three paintings and I am creating some more as gifts. Thank you, Violette, for inspiring me and other women to unleash our inner eccentric!

Here’s the back of the postcard for her book. I bet if you order a book from Violette’s site, you might receive a love-filled envelope, too.

Thank you to my darling husband who resized all of these photos for me so it would be super easy to plop them in here! I keep telling him he needs to do a blog class! Once I embraced blogging, then everything got infinitely easier! Oh, and more tools showed up to make it even easier! Such a deal! If you want Mark, a.k.a. Disco, to teach you how to blog easily and effortlessly… let him know at mark [at] tinaferguson.com.

My birthday is this Friday, but the birthday celebrations have already commenced! Mom, a.k.a. Dusty Rose, gave me my first present (she says she has another one that she really is going to wrap) when I met up with her at the Cowgirl Paper Ball a few weeks ago (yes, I’m just like you, it has taken me two weeks to take the photo and actually get it up on the blog – no one is living in illusion here!) – see below.

She handed me this: And, said, “Hey, how do you like my gift wrap?”

I could feel wild anticipation that she wanted me to open it RIGHT AWAY! I giggled at her joke and then opened it. And, Voila!

Oh, yes, there are not many artsy things I love more than a good, sharp X-acto knife and a curing mat (these are the mats that you can cut over and over again and they always look ‘new’). When I went to her house a month or so ago, she had a set kind of like this one and I nearly slobbered over it I wanted one so much. Her’s had six or seven different knives and tips. THIS one has 56 pieces! Oh, and it has magnets to keep everything in place! Plus a sharpening stone! What???

LOVING it. Though not sure what I’ll do with all of them. LOL I use my X-acto like most people use scissors. I have had one ever since my days in journalism in Junior High when we produced the entire school newspaper old school style on an old printing press. Yes, really, with the old indigo plates and everything! It wasn’t that long ago, but I bet kids these days probably do everything fancy and digital.

Hey, wait a minute, I just thought of something. Maybe this is why I love the paste up craft of collage art and also crafting cards old-school-style. Hmmm, I don’t know, but I do know I LOVE these and thank you mom for a beautiful present, gift wrapping and all!

Have you eaten any cherries this season? I can’t even believe I never even tasted a fresh cherry until last year at the age of 41! I have never liked those sugary kind so I thought I didn’t like them at all.

There’s something so yummy and satisfying about cherries. You pop the stem out. Then slip one into your mouth, you bite into it, the pit pops out and then you get to crunch down on the firm outside with the juicy inside squirting all around your mouth!

Then the process starts all over again.

It’s almost addictive how yummy they are! Isn’t that how we would love to live life every day? With that kind of juiciness where we can’t wait to bite into another day? I’ve been feeling this and enjoying it so much. It isn’t as predictable as cherries and pits, but equally as satisfying!

Yes, your life can be a bowl of cherries!

This is an actual photo of a bowl of cherries I ate… so goooood. Aren’t they so pretty? I was thinking that God is the best product packager ever!

Oh, and I’ve been talking about this Wonder Woman mug for-ever, so I thought I would share this too. So cute. Who can resist Wonder Woman? Who would want to? LOL

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Love to color? Ever melt down crayons? What about sculpting with crayons?

I’m always fascinated about what other people see when they look at things. Most of us know that our filters ‘filter out’ ideas and opportunities based on beliefs and such, but what about how artists look at the world? They seem to filter through their medium… enjoy!

Artist, Herb Williams, sculpts magnificently with crayons. His work reminded me of two other sculptors who use everyday items in their work: Ann Carrington (if you watch the show 9 By Design – love them! – on Bravo, you can see Ann on a couple of the episodes) and Page Hodel’s Monday Hearts for Madalene. If you’ve never heard this love story, it’s one sure to touch you! Oh, and who can forget Mr. Toothpick?

Original artwork by Herb Williams

Mark and Chance like to watch the show, Wipeout. I just cringe when I see these contestants fold like pretzels as their heads shake like bobble heads as they impale themselves against the rubber, water-infused obstacle course! They recorded Wipeout and put it on while I tried to read and escape what appears to be a ‘fun’ torture chamber.

I happened to look up when I heard Rick and millionaire. It was good ol’ Rick Radditz! I met Rick last November when he spoke at Michael Angier’s SuccessNet conference, though I’ve read about him, read his newsletter for years I had not had the chance to meet him. How fun to see him on Wipeout.

For those of you who have read or explored any of the information marketing online, you probably know Rick. He is the creator and co-founder of AudioGenerator. Rick strikes me as a guy who likes to have fun. That’s what living life out loud is all about!

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It’s been three months exactly from my first post on easy weight loss. So much has happened! I wanted to share some of what has been going on, what I’ve heard from others who have been sharing their results and some thoughts I’ve had in between.

On the subject of feeling…I remembered back in high school when I used the ‘feelings’ (energy) of others to lose weight. At the time, I had no idea what I was doing, but now I know exactly what I was doing and why I got the results I did. Back then, I was a very overweight 13 year old. I wanted desperately to wear cool clothes and to be part of the ‘in’ crowd. One day, the idea to ‘pretend’ to be like one of the ladies I saw who was really thin (fit never entered my mind, I wanted to look thin!) popped into my mind.

What I was doing energetically was connecting to these women as a collective. The more I tuned in to their energy, the more my behavior changed. That was the summer I became anorexic, but I really wasn’t ‘consciously’ doing it…I was simply following the energy and doing what came to me. The energy of the collective was controlled. I remember wanting a candy bar one day and this constraining feeling came to me instantly…control, resisting = good. The more I tuned into control, resisting and the feeling of achievement with being these, the less I ate. The less I ate, the better I felt. Remember…control, resisting = good. I lost 80 lbs. in just over 3 months. I mastered my body in the most destructive of ways. Whew! That’s when I also tuned into the compulsive exercising energy, too. Let’s put it this way… no one should be working out 11 hours a day – ever.

Alas, I have vowed to master and commit to my physical in the highest way for all parts of me this time – once and for all!

So far, this is what has happened:

1. I have really felt intense love for my body – flaws and all. I had a photo shoot and really had fun! Mark and I did our first video that was equally as fun. I just really don’t have the desire to judge my body at all. I appreciate how adaptable it has been and how strong it is. Others have sent emails saying that they are also feeling more love for their bodies – where they are, right now. The journey doesn’t feel like a competition with time, it is just a trip to feeling good physically, emotionally, spiritually and mentally. Isn’t that cool?

2. At some point in the last three months, I had an epiphany around shifting from the inside-out. The point is to let go of all of the ‘trappings’ of the external reference point that affect the internal. These include anything that feed the part of me that habituates to ‘keeping score’… the measuring, the results, the getting to a destination… all of these energize the part of me that has helped me be very successful, but has also created an unhappiness that keeps me from being me. I let go of measuring through scales and measuring tape (an old friend). The clothes sizes…the noticing is as it happens… I’m not focused on them, they are simply part of the experience.I’ve gone down two sizes in my shirt size. My oversized workout t-shirts look like night shirts now. It’s almost time to go shopping for new under garments. VS…here we come! It’s like praise of any sort… nice, but not necessary.

3. The day I remembered my experience from 13 years old, the memory literally just popped into my mind. I thought, ‘Well, I don’t want to go that far again…but I could definitely tune into a ‘fit’ energy and work from that flow of what is best for me.’ So, I’ve been doing this (not regularly like I did before), and it is fascinating how wonderful it is to have a boost. There’s a flow to eating what I want (including chocolate cake and pie) or what I’m craving, and cutting back in other areas without ‘thinking’ about it. It’s been fascinating. I have the most incredible urges to work out… like I used to. I’ve done it once. Now that the book is put to bed, I’ll spend some time exploring how I want to work out now. Walking is always a welcome way to connect with my body.

4. I also noticed that there’s an energy or feeling to truly desiring something intensely. At 13, I intensely wanted to change my body that I didn’t like. At nearly 42, I simply love my body and want to enjoy it in every way I can. I don’t have an intensity to change like I did before. I don’t loathe myself. Surely there’s an intense desire I can connect to now. I keep going back to that free wheeling image I got at the start of this journey… cartwheels in the backyard. There’s absolutely the yummiest, free feeling associated with it. The childlike feeling I’m experiencing internally is a match to cartwheels and jumping on the trampoline. That feels good. I’ll keep you posted if new things come up.

5. Noticings. I’m not sure what this one means, but I’ve been noticing how small people’s shoulders are. We watched Back to the Future (the first original movie) and I noticed how tiny the people were in that movie. I’ve been noticing this in other situations as well. We watched Father of the Bride and the people in that movie appeared to be even smaller. I never noticed this before. As I’ve been noticing their smaller shoulders, I’ve also noticed my own. Wow, isn’t that interesting? I’ve also been noticing athletes. Perhaps my inner athlete is waking up. Isn’t this so much easier?

One last thing. During the last two weeks of getting my book to press, and as I relapsed into my old achiever ways, I noticed that I ate unconsciously and ravenously. I would reach for coffee and tea like old friends, and keep going. The sharp contrast between my joyous creating of the weeks before with the pressure being applied (errors in the graphics and a deadline of announcing the book’s arrival) brought back unconscious old habits. I noticed these, and vowed to set a schedule, work environment that uplifts me and allows me to love myself. Life really is too short to live any other way.

Send me your stories…letters[at]TinaFerguson.com I’m collecting these for my book that will share this process and share with others how they can do it too!

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Dreamers united today for the first day of Dream Camp. Ever since Velma, a.k.a. The Queen of Joy, and I dreamed up this little soul get together, I’ve been getting all kinds of inspirations for the campers. I knew that we would be going high, high, high up into the ethers, but I had no idea how HIGH we were going to go! It’s actually, not high, like up in the sky, it’s more out…into other dimensions – the creation plane, to be more specific. Call it The Field, Zero Point, Unified Creation, whatever you want… we had so much fun today!

We connected to our dreamers and the surprise was that each one was not at all what each person thought it would be. Now that was fun! More like magical, inspirational…transformational!

You can still join us…come with us as we still have five more weeks of dream camp.

This week, it was back to basics…next week, it’s all about finger painting. Yes, you can do this too. Dream camp is for the child inside that already knows how to dream… it’s more of a reacquainting with the dreamer and an undoing of all the things that keeps you from believing anything is possible. Dream camp is where you can too comes to life!

What would you dream if you knew it was impossible to fail? Or…only possible to create? That’s what we’ll be experiencing in Dream Camp! Join us…

I have seen cotton candy clouds in my visions for a long time (even had a reading with someone who was taken to Candy Land – the game was significant for her), but I never thought I would get to see these visions up close, personal and for real in this world! I kept seeing Katy Perry’s new song California Gurls (featuring Snoop Dogg) and thought, ‘I’m going to have to see what that’s all about!’ Well, I did, and am SO glad I did. The video is sheer summer fun and imagination. PLUS, Cotton Candy clouds!! Thank you, Katy, for bringing such whimsy and fantasy to our world. You rock our world in the wildest way. Thank you!!

I first saw Katy’s outfit (daisy dukes with a cupcake halter – yes, with cupcakes on each breast – see below) a few weeks ago, and thought, that is just the cutest thing I’ve ever seen… how playful and fun! Little did I know there would be so much MORE creativity…but what else would we expect from Ms. Perry?

The entire video is more of this silly, playfulness I’ve completely loved about Katy for years. This is a girl that is about f-u-n. The set is Candyfornia (A Candy Land life-size set) complete with cotton candy clouds. Sensuality and sexuality is such a delicious part of our experience here…a way to connect at a very deep level with those we love. This video has an irresistible vibe that will take you back to a time when life was a breeze… just like California Dreamin’. Mark and I enjoyed date night last night that felt very much like when we first met…this vibe is contagious! It’s like a ride in a convertible wrapped up in a blanket of Yes! with a sprinkle of Oh yeah, baby! So de-lish!

The embed function is disabled, but you can see the video here. Oh, and for Austin Powers fans, the video has a bit in there that is very Elizabeth Hurley (when she turns into a Fembot) except that Katy’s are whipped cream cans! So cute… and playful. I can see why this is the most popular song in America – four weeks and going strong! Enjoy California Gurls, Katy and Snoop!