Queen of Dreams Radio
Archive for the ‘Soul Gifts’ Category
I received an email a few days ago from PJ Spur. She shared a doggie portrait a good friend of hers painted. This doggie portrait is sooo cute. If you’ve ever loved those psychedelic cows or those other animal prints, these will strike a chord. When I opened this image, one of the dogs, in particular, really spoke to me. I could literally feel her spirit coming out of this canvas! How can that be?
But, like I’ve shared for a long time over the years, a true artist can capture the energy…the essence… of, well, anything. Sheba’s loving and excited energy bubbles forth right off of this canvas! Can you feel it?
When I went to learn about the artist who creates these wonderful creations, I found that she also creates women’s self-empowerment portraits. How divine!
If you’ve been mentally writing your Christmas list like I have…perhaps a Paula Mitchell original is the perfect gift for that special someone who has everything!
Looking for a Dream Life:
Today, as I sat outside reading a book that is three days overdue, I enjoyed the sounds all around me. Mr. Squirrel who is busy choosing acorns for his stash. The sounds of the waterfall from the pool. The birds chirping from the bush nearby. A steady hum of cars driving by at rush hour.
The stillness felt so good. The early fall temps equally as wonderful.
As I read my book, I reflected on the sidelines of my mind how my story has been so similar to the author’s. Experiences of talking to my inner child. Falling into my heart one night upon closing my eyes. A deep recognition of my inner wise woman, my moon maiden and mother. So many experiences I wonder how I would share all of this…and then right behind that wondering, the wondering of … is it even necessary to share?
The one that most speaks to me to share is entering the heart. As, this is where your desires, your connection to all is readily available.
One night, as I began to close my eyes, I suddenly found myself in a room (more like a large-ish closet) full of books. The books were not arranged on shelves like you might find in an organized and proper library, rather, they were in a heap in the middle of the floor!
I wondered, Where am I?
I heard, “Your heart.”
Oooooh, I need to do some MAJOR housekeeping! I became more concerned about the state of affairs in my heart than I was in the actual contents.
Many months later, I returned with more courage to actually look around and see what was available for me there. When I arrived this time, I saw an old-fashioned writing desk sitting in front of a bay window (kind of like the picture below, except the desk was much wider – taking up nearly the entire width of the small room). The light streaming through the bay window gave the room a glow of healthy creativity. I looked around and saw books on bookshelves, which flanked the room.
Well, at least they are more organized now! I wonder who did that? As the thought flowed through my mind, the memory of journaling one morning came to me. I had outlined 12 books that would be in nine different categories. Ah, I had organized my thoughts and my creations that morning – without even realizing it!
With the extra courage I brought for this journey, I had not a hope to be able to summon the boldness to read the books on the shelves…their spines glimmering from the gold letters etched in the leather. Deficient of this, I walked to the writing table where I saw many writing instruments. A ballpoint pen. A sharpened feather with ink well. A calligrapher’s set. A leather writing pad covered nearly the entire surface. I looked out the window, perhaps to escape the invitation, and saw wooded acreage stretched as far as I could see.
Where am I? I wondered.
Again, the answer, “In your heart.”
Why has my heart brought me here?
“To write.”
That seemed obvious, but had I made the conscious choice to do so? It didn’t seem like it. I certainly wasn’t acting like it. I had not even cracked my journal for weeks prior to this. And, though, I liked the idea of writing, I didn’t want to sit and actually do the writing. And, while I was curious which books lined the shelves, I certainly did not have the fortitude to go and read the creative works that my heart held.
Instead, I took a gift. The knowing that whatever we hold in our heart is ours to create – ours to choose to create. When, again our choice.
I drifted off to sleep without writing nor sneaking a peek of what was to come.
So many months later, I am back in my heart. This time to write… and ready to create it. 
What’s in your heart? Do you dare to sneak a peek?
Looking for a Dream Life:
Yesterday, as the sun went down, Mark and I sat in the back by the pool talking about his business, talking about my next project (at least one book about manifesting and the principles of creation), talking about marketing and what we see clients doing and also moving to a new house. The conversation was like many between long-time married couples who drift easily from subject to subject without transitions – a seeming long list of ‘to-dos’ that we will work together to create.
In the middle of the conversation, the subject of ‘we’ and ‘my’ came up. I tend to say ‘we’ for many things, and ‘my’ for ‘my projects.’ He always gives me a hrrrmph when I do that because he says it is ‘ours.’ This bone of contention ran through my business years, too, as he would say ‘our’ clients when ‘I’ was the one doing the work, ‘I’ was the one dealing with the personalities that came along with the work, ‘I’ was the one that was doing all of the administrivia and on and on. I didn’t feel that his occasional run to FedEx with me in tow at 9:45 PM to mail a client’s project ‘counted’ enough to be ‘partners’ and the business, as I saw it, certainly was not ‘ours’ though the money from it was shared willingly and freely for all those years I had it.
Yesterday, in the lap of our backyard with the blue pool at our feet, surrounded by the roses and holly berries with me maybe eight or so years wiser, I let my guard down around the subject and opened my mind to consider what he may be seeing or feeling.
I feel at ‘one’ in nearly every other area and expression in my life – Why not this one? Why is it that I feel the need to stake claim?
As we peeled back the layers, I finally said, “Well, I’m the author of this creation – that’s why it is mine.”
He replied, to what was already streaming through my mind, “Why is it that you are always fine with being about ‘oneness’ and it takes all of us to get to where we are going, and you TEACH this, but when it comes to your writing you act like it’s all yours?”
I have to admit…I didn’t know why. I just had this feeling in the pit of my stomach – a perceived truth to his words.
Then, he said, “You just don’t get it. Everything is all of ours.”
He began to give me a list of things he does to make my writing life possible. He listens. He responds to me when I ask, “Does this make sense to you?” He cooks my meals (and always has). He brings me coffee in the morning.
I can do all of those things for myself I reasoned. They are nice, but I don’t have to have them. But to write! There’s so much to do… listening and listening and gathering the drops as they come in, and the putting them on paper – actually getting them out of my consciousness and into this world! There’s work to do!
I jumped to something that came to me in my inner defense… “I have no need to claim anything you are working on. Your business is your business. I enjoy helping you and I don’t need to be considered a ‘part’ of it. I give freely.” There it was…separation. This time I couldn’t ignore it.
“Maybe that’s true, but you are. What’s mine is yours and what’s yours is mine.”
I bristled. “But you aren’t the one doing the work to write and to reflect and to collect all of these little messages that are coming in all day every day!” I exclaimed.
Then he said it. “Writing is easy for you. You write books like some people write articles. It just flows out of you like water.”
I swallowed hard because it was true – at least that part was true. And, somehow coming out of his mouth in actual words I felt like it discounted the process – the writing. That maybe it is too easy.
We drifted to another topic content to agree to somewhat disagree and somewhat to agree.
Later that night, I realized the writing IS easy for me…like breathing. I listen and follow. The structural part is more challenging. Putting myself out there even more so. The facing the business aspect from my true core as a creative soul has been the greatest challenge – even though I know what to do! I know how to run a business. I know how to grow businesses, but when I’m in my creative heart, I tend to be like other creative souls.
Our conversation simmered in the back of my mind. Something Mark said to me, “At the end of the day, Tina, you can’t be like everyone else. You can’t just forget that you have a business mind in there somewhere. That’s what makes you different, and what won’t allow you to just let things go.”
I wondered, Is that true? I remembered the feeling when he said it – solid as a rock. True.
This morning, as I ready myself to write. I see now what is at the core of all of this. Magically, it’s what is at the core of everything else around me right now, too. It’s about work. Who does the work?
Whomever does the work is the one that owns something. The belief that has been the fly in the ointment for far too long.
Wow, what an outdated notion. Puritanical for sure. A rush of thoughts comes to mind in this moment. I used to argue that an executive’s wife deserved as much out of a relationship because the person behind that person contributed as much to the creation as the one who actually goes out in the world and ‘does the work.’ So Mark is right…about me.
Funny how beliefs work. We can consciously think one thing and be running and living another.
I do believe in oneness… this is how I write – in response to what others are asking for. Yes, I’m the messenger, but the message is not mine. Like a baker who bakes a cake with flour and eggs and milk…the farmer, the land and many sun-filled days brought the flour, the chicken sent the eggs and cows lent the milk. Even those who ensured the chickens ate everyday contributed, the delivery people who took these to market… and every step in between… who sent water to the field? Who ensured the water pipes were laid? On and on and on in an infinite circle of creation… and, with me? If there were no questions for others, no desires for what I am writing… well, I would be a messenger without a message to deliver. 
I remembered how when I first started writing – back in elementary – I used to think, Is this writing? I’m just listening and writing down what comes to me. Is this cheating?
This has affected me my entire life, but until today I didn’t know why. It doesn’t ‘seem’ like work, and true to this belief that has been driving this part of me (the one who does the work owns it), how could I lay ‘claim’ to something if it wasn’t ‘work’ if ‘work’ is the only thing valued? I would, based on this belief, create more ‘work’ – ouch!
Time to let this one go.
Wow. I feel free.
Looking for a Dream Life:
Hi everyone… I’m so excited about Robert Moss being our guest host tonight on the show. I absolutely love his books, and he has a new one out right now, Active Dreaming: Journeying Beyond Self-limitation to a Life of Wild Freedom, which we will be talking about on the show.
One of the things that jumped out at me in his latest book is the definiteness of purpose that shines through it. This book is an in-depth guide to working with dreams to live consciously. I have not yet made it all the way through (I tend to savor Robert’s books like fine wine…drinking in only five to 10 pages or so at a time), and yet the reminders, the guidance, the combination of practical teachings with wonderful storytelling has given me wonderful insights already into experiences I’ve been having and have had on my soul’s path. True freedom is our birthright. This book is a guide to access it.
You all know I have highly recommended his books, I hope you will take the opportunity to be part of our intimate, live audience tonight and, if you don’t know him yet, will get to meet a true master of our generation.
A couple of days ago, I met with a friend and we talked about life and the projects we each have going on. She asked me what I am up to, and I told her I am in somewhat patient anticipation of my next ‘step’ in the world. Then I spontaneously exclaimed, “Well, that’s life in the soul lane!”
I recognize that those of us who have gone through what some call “soul activation” end up in this ‘place’ afterward where we are truly not as we were before the soul’s opening (which puts the soul in the leader’s position with the mind taking directions). It is as if we can’t be like we used to be, which for me was very driven to accomplish and to achieve ‘stuff.’ I still have retained that aspect of enjoying finishing projects, but I can’t be a slave to it again.
In moments of feeling adrift, I’ve tried – all to no avail. I am just not that person anymore.
Yet, when opening to the soul, we are more of what we know we are and what we are meant to be – truly, what we were born to be, and yet we don’t know what that expression looks like in the world. That’s the discovery we get to explore and create. That’s the fun – when we quit trying to force it.
So, life in the soul lane can somehow look like life in the slow lane. The soul is patient, wise and kind. In contrast to the ego mind, there’s no hurry up to get anywhere because now is the only time anyway. I firmly believe that we come to this life with certain qualities and characteristics that will support us on the journey. Each of these looks significantly different from the soul’s viewpoint.
I shall see as I go along… and accept… and embrace all that I am.
