For more than a couple of months now, I’ve had this sparkly, surreal feeling while being in my house. I notice it most when I walk down the stairs. I feel as if I am extremely lucky to be living my life. I get the feeling of being inside of a dream…that I live in my dream home. I find that I look over to my office as I leave the stairs and I like what I see. I see the berry pink walls and the glitter, paints and my guitar on the wall. Then, I walk through to the downstairs living room and feel as if I am so lucky to be here.

A month or so ago, I walked down the stairs (feeling this way) and I walked through the living room to the kitchen. I could see the christmas lights twinkling through the living room window. The holly bushes that surround the back side of our pool are covered with small, white Christmas lights. Last year, after years of desiring that sparkle, I placed each strand on the tall bushes. Yet, on this evening, the lights meant that Chance and Mark were in the pool. I walked to the kitchen, feeling my feet against the tile floor and noticed that everything just seemed brighter, somehow richer. I felt drawn to the back door, so I pushed it open and walked out to the pool to watch them. Chance was screaming and carrying on…something I usually hear from inside. I felt happy inside – extremely happy. He and Mark were playing and I could see their pale bodies illuminated next to the pool light. Again, I noticed how everything seemed brighter somehow. The lights were brighter. The pool light was aglow.

I walked inside and started to go back upstairs. I had the distinct feeling of knowing I had created this experience. In that moment, the memory of how this house came to be came to mind. We were looking for a new house. We had an idea of how much we were willing to spend. This house was nearly $30,000 more than that. We had passed on it after the homeowner said he would not budge on the price. We kept looking. House after house made this one seem that much more appealing. I had felt when the homeowner initially said no it was because he had a date in mind when he would lower the price. We knew it was overpriced for the neighborhood. As we continued to look at other houses, I kept feeling that Mark really liked this house. I wanted him to have what he wanted. The last house was my idea.

Finally, one day, all of this built to a climax. While we were looking at another house, a messenger said to me, “If you want that other house, you must go now. There’s another couple coming and they are willing to pay full price.” I turned to our realtor and told her we wanted to go look at this house once more. As we stood in the kitchen that afternoon, I knew what number had to be on the paper for the owner (the husband) to say yes. We worked the numbers so that they worked for us and also showed him the number he must have said he ‘had’ to have before he could say yes. I asked Mark once again, “You are sure this is the house you like?” I had felt that this could be Mark’s turn to choose. I liked the house, I just didn’t care for the living room/kitchen area downstairs…it was galley style. A lifetime of living in apartments had left me not liking galley style areas. But, like Mark, I loved the yard and I loved the upstairs. Mark agreed. We turned in the paperwork, and the offer was accepted. Three days later, just as the messenger warned, another couple from out of state arrived and fell in love with the house (we were still in the option period). They were willing to pay full price – above market value.

This feeling of being ‘lucky’ – a word I prefer to fortunate, for some reason. It has a magical quality, this feeling and the word, a feeling of safety and security. I feel as if I navigate in this energy and it is here to remind me that creation is always available…just like it was when we created this house – our home.

The surreal feeling continues and the incidences keep coming to match this feeling. Wonderful synchronicities, amazing connections and I do feel as if I have entered a surreal existence – one where anything is effortlessly possible. I am so grateful! This is a whole new level of possibility for me… I’ve always felt anything is possible. This is an effortless feeling – beyond anything I’ve felt before.

And, perhaps, the joy this brings is why I so want others to experience it, too. I can’t wait to share my latest book with you.

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I have always been fascinated by accounts people have of touching the supernatural. From meetings with angels to other messengers, I love to hear how people connect in the various ways.

In my 20s, I began to wake early in the morning and write for the angels. I wrote letters of hope to those who were facing despair. Mostly these letters went to my brother-in-law at the time, sometimes I had ideas to help people I knew of but didn’t know. Each morning was like a new present to unwrap.

I have seen how creative the angelic kingdom can be… and how earthly angels also can be sent when we need each other.

Since I have watched, researched and seen so many accounts of angels and angelic communication, I was surprised to see a new series that touched me so deeply. Country Music Television’s (CMT) new series, Angels Among Us is one of the best I’ve seen. The storytelling and editing make this series amazing. What I love most, though, is that the series shares the many ways that the angels and other messengers make contact with us. I believe it can help people to listen to their guidance… and those guiding us each and every day.

I can’t imagine a life without connection with Divine… and this series shares how precious each life is. The show also shares that we must always remember to ask for help…as there are messengers just waiting to help.

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A few months ago, I went to see Ellany, my friend and gal pal, because we planned to go get ‘makeovers.’

I can’t remember the specifics of how the comment came up when Ellany said, “I see you. When you have your make-up on, and are dressed in your girly shoes and dresses, I know that’s you. It’s SO you.”

There’s something about your truth that grabs you in the throat and heart and gut all at the same time. I blinked many times quickly so that I wouldn’t let the tears rushing from my throat to escape. I wondered, ‘Why does this touch me so deeply?’

I thought about that moment many times in the following weeks, wondering what it was that she could see and others haven’t. It reminded me of something Sonia Choquette said in one of the workshops I attended with her many years ago…I see you is the highest form of love. The truth is…I felt loved in that moment…to the depths of my soul.

It’s so easy for us to ‘see’ people’s flaws, their insecurities, their foibles, their mistakes and, sadly, I believe most people think this IS people’s truth – who they are. I know, FOR SURE, it isn’t. I have not met one person yet who doesn’t have a brimming, brightly-lit soul full of beauty and love. When we focus on people’s ‘ick,’ we energize it. When we focus on their truth, we energize it. What cuts to the negative, can just as easily cut to the positive. To see the love a person is – deep inside…that takes seeing with your heart. Looking with loving eyes.

I remember when I wrote my second book, I had many people telling me that I wasn’t this or wasn’t that. My agent at the time said I was “serious,” not whimsical and child-like like my book. She said my book was too “playful” and wasn’t “serious” enough. At the time, I was struggling to determine exactly who I was. I had been so good at being whatever I needed to be in any moment, the “me” that I am got lost along the way. My agent’s pressing words forced me to look to see what was real – what a gift!

I thought to myself, ‘Well, I can be TOO serious, but my heart, my spirit is playful. This is as “me” as it gets! I am the QUEEN OF POSSIBILITIES!!! It takes a childlike viewpoint of ANYTHING IS POSSIBLE to show up like this!’  I realized, too, that she identified with my business consultant side, which, in our experience together, had been dead serious, because her situation had required it…I showed up in the energy of ‘let’s MOVE’ because that is what the situation called for – dead serious, every moment counts, we must turn this ship around NOW!

The truth is, we all have EVERYTHING inside of us. Every facet, every aspect is waiting for us to express it, as needed. Our ‘expression’ is a blend of those facets we access most often. My entire inner (and outer) life is playing a game. If I shared how many games I have created for myself since I was a little girl, you would see that, to me, life is a big game to play. I make up games to get projects done. I make up games to clean the house. I even teach my inner games to others who just might like to play this way, too. And, just like playing a board game, the gamut of emotions are there too…serious, playful, competitive, concerned and more.

Anyone who knows me knows that I laugh a LOT…and bring a playfulness to serious things such as depression, being stuck, fear and the gamut of other human emotions we encounter along the way. I have lightened up along the way as I have discovered the game isn’t dead-serious. Do I act like I’m at the circus each day? No way – I’m playful, not a clown. One of the things I’m known for is bringing a “you can do this” attitude everywhere I go. However, I can bring a fire starter if people want it. I can bring an edge, too; however, it isn’t my preferred energy. I enjoy being laid-back, on-point and playful. Why do we need to be so SERIOUS all of the time??? Can’t we just do what we love and love the experience, including those we are serving?

That day, in the reflection of Ellany’s eyes and words, I felt that she saw me… my spirit… my truth. And, that is about as good as life gets. Pure magic! Thank you, Ellany!

Tigers…playful and yet dead-serious!

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Last Thursday, my guest did not arrive, so I was able to just ‘talk’ and ‘share’ what I’ve been seeing with clients and with myself. What came out of this deep sharing was a message to ‘Say yes.’ Is this a new message? No. Certainly many people have written about the “power of yes” and “just say, yes!” and “a place of yes.”

But to me, what felt different was what to say ‘yes’ to. I believe most people think of ‘just say yes’ in the vein of the big things that come to us. Just say yes to love. Just say yes to a new career. Just say yes to the thing that most frightens you! And, while each of these is noteworthy, I believe the little yeses may be even more important to lead us to the big yeses of life.

For me, the nudge to detox seemed innocuous enough. Like a whisper, “It’s time.” And, I would say, “Yes, yes, next week.” Or, I would say yes for a day. Or yes for a week. I didn’t say YES!

As I reflect back on many clients and how things started, it was always a little yes that preceded the BIG YES. For me, the little yes was way back last October, when I created an inspired program called Ultimate Well-being. I said yes to that, and that delivered us to an amazing level of well-being in January. The next little yes was the physical component of ultimate well-being. But that one was layered with lots of old baggage. It felt different. Then, finally, the *click* and then the little yes, and this one has opened up a lot of BIG YESES.

Violette often asks, “How do you eat an elephant?…One bite at a time!” The same goes for the yeses. One little yes, follows another little yes, and another and then bigger and bigger yeses start showing up. Today’s detox could be tomorrow’s life adventure, but if you don’t say yes to one, you don’t say yes to the others.

What I love about seeing life from this perspective is that the little yeses are managable. No one is going to be ‘scared’ of the little yeses. They are a little nudge, the little whisper, the giggle on the wind that says, “Are you ready for some fun?” They are open and welcoming. The more you say, yes, yes, yes, yes, then the YES, YES, YESes come easier, too.

I believe we each have a purpose, given to us by God, and every day that purpose is guiding us to whomever, whatever, wherever we need to be all that we are. Will you please say, “Yes?”

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Last Saturday, two friends and I hopped in the car and jetted off to a fun girls evening. As I drove, I looked over and saw two blue jays flying down and then sitting on the ground. Half an hour later, I looked over and I saw two cranes. A day later, I saw two doves sitting together under the tree. That same day, I came home and two mockingbirds criss-crossed my path as I walked to the front door. I looked over and, in the bush by my front door, there she sat, cocooned in her little nest with her tail feathers sticking in the air… our new mockingbird. I looked in to see if I could see her and I met with her eye looking right at me…inches from my own eyes.

I said something to Mark about the significance of the pairs. And he said, “Well, you notice birds all the time.” And I said, “No, I’ve never noticed PAIRS, before! That’s what is so exciting about it!”

Then he smiled and said, “Well, maybe it’s because it is reflecting how you feel…connected, in love.”

We each had repairs that needed to be made to our wedding bands. The day before I started noticing the pairs everywhere, we picked them up. My ring is a band of super clear diamonds. The diamonds are not large, but they are dazzlingly bright and clear. Mark’s band is similar.

Perhaps that is it.

For now, I’m enjoying the pairs everywhere!

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Most of you write to tell me that my stories help you make sense of your own experiences. Well, settle in because I have a wonderful story to share.

This week, I put my headphones on to get ready to meditate. I began focusing on my breath, and before long, I had a nice little bliss feeling moving through my body.

As I watched the colors in my mind (I focus on whatever colors or images ‘pop’ in while I have my eyes closed), I saw a bee hive appear in my inner field of vision. It looked somewhat black and white with a toffee-colored hue for the ‘hive.’ I saw bees buzzing all around it, and as I watched to see what would happen, I saw a bee look over at me and then it flew over and right up my nose!

As if that wasn’t surprising enough, all of a sudden, the entire bee colony swarmed out of the hive and flew up my nose! What? I’ve had so many amazing experiences with animals in my meditations…including being clawed at by a tiger, so a bee swarm didn’t even scare me! I did wonder what they were up to!

I could feel a buzzing feeling up in my sinus cavity and I wondered what on Earth had happened to my meditation bliss I had just been enjoying. Suddenly, just as quickly as they arrived, bees came streaming out of my nose and along with them, a foggy energy that looked like smoke. They then formed an arrow and pointed in a direction and I followed them in my meditation.

They took me into the hive and showed me the Queen Bee, and explained that the Queen is the ‘birther’ of many others, but she doesn’t go out. Instead, she lays eggs and births many other worker bees, so to speak. The more I looked around, the more I noticed that the honeycombs reminded me of storage bins, and the honey looked like golden cargo.

The bees continued along with their message…each person in the hive is unique and important – no two are identical or the same. The Queen could not do what she does without the many workers who guard and protect her, and neither could the workers do what they do without the many supportive bees inside the colony.

I walked away feeling that something huge had just happened, and the message has stayed with me all week. I feel I know some of it, and most of it will be understood at a soul level – a place beyond words.

The next day, I remembered that the third-eye chakra ‘sounds’ resonates with a buzzing of insects…like little wings flapping. You just never know what will come in a meditation, but you can bet and trust that the right messenger for you will find you!

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I believe I may have shared this story on a show or in a post, regardless if I have before, it’s a great story about how intuition helped us buy our current house.

I wrote yesterday about the house we had before this one. When we bought that house, the market was sizzling hot. We would rise each day, check the listings and then don our swords so we could go fight for a house. We lost house after house after house. One house was lost by just $500! At the time, Chance was five months old, I had a busy practice and was just entering, unbeknownst to me, post partum depression. I had zero patience and felt defeated each day we would spend five hours a day looking and putting in bids just to lose a prospective house.

One day, we found this lovely house, but there was something that just didn’t feel right about it. Unlike all of the other houses, this one had been on the market. We liked it, the price was right, but something held us back from saying yes.

I had a dream that night. In my dream, I saw a red car driving across the desert with a man with gray hair in the driver’s seat and a woman with black curly hair in the passenger’s seat. It reminded me of the Arizona desert. As I watched them crossing the desert in this red convertible, I saw the woman turn back and, when she did, she appeared like a skeleton! I awoke deeply afraid and scared.

At that time, I had always had great intuition, but wasn’t sure about how to decipher its messages and symbolism. I had always played this game of “If I can see it” then it must be meant to be. There had been many times when I would try to picture myself doing something and I couldn’t see it, so I would just change my course. That morning, with my heart pounding in my chest, I played the “If I can see it” game. I immediately saw a picture of Mark standing over the stove cooking eggs. I took that as the sign that we should get that house, and told him about it.

Now, looking back, I see the dream very differently. The family who sold us the house was moving to California (and would be driving across the Arizona desert). The black-haired woman represented our real estate agent at the time, who was in the car with the seller. Which, is probably why, even though the house had no offers, we could not negotiate on the price.

However, armed with my “I can see you in the house,” we trudged off and bought the house. When we got in it, we were amazed at how bad the house was. The previous owners literally had slapped a coat of paint on everything and it was pretty bad underneath. Mark described the experience as going out with the prom queen and waking up with someone else.

I began to think about the dream as a warning… remembering the feelings of fear, but my fear had driven me toward it rather than away from it.

We moved in and that was the beginning of three years of nearly non-stop renovations. It was like we were driven to update this house and had no choice in it. When we weren’t renovating, we were traveling or searching for our next home. I felt like I never got any rest in that house!

Oh, and that ‘feeling’ that didn’t quite feel right … well, it ended up being a ghost in the attic who was waiting for the girls who lived there before us to come back. The boy was the son of the first family who lived there (we were just the third family in 30 years). He had been a drug addict and stumbled out one day during the winter and froze to death at the park nearby. Though it may sound kind of scary, he was actually a huge gift to me because he allowed me to directly face him and address my fear of the spirits I could always feel around me every since I was little. When I finally got the courage to ask Mark if he felt it, Mark confirmed that he, too, was feeling the effects of the spirit… the cold, the depressed feelings, the malicious energy.

That led me to my first mentor and she came and helped this boy pass over. After that, the house felt so much better! I did, too! And, I realized I never had to be afraid again of these spirits.

I was actually away at Sonia Choquette’s Six Sensory Certification when Mark called me and told me that we would be moving. I was surprised since we all were feeling so much better. He told me he was thinking of wanting to move a wall and that was IT!, it’s time to move. That felt good to me, and when I arrived home, we started looking again for neighborhoods.

About a week later, we found the house we now live in, but I didn’t LOVE it like Mark did. The back of the house reminded me of the apartments I had lived in nearly my entire life. I wanted a house that felt like a HOUSE, not an apartment. We trudged on and continued looking. At the time, the numbers were staggering to me … were we really going to pay THIS MUCH for a house? I gulped at the thought even though I knew I could always make more, it just seemed like a lot to me.

Several days passed with us going to more and more houses, and they were more expensive, but didn’t have the things we liked nor many of the features we listed on our manifestation list. I wondered why it seemed so hard, and then I thought, Mark has never bought a house that he liked, if he likes that one, then I want him to have it. I had bought a house with my ex, and then we had the crazy house together, and my love for him wanted him to have what he wanted.

I no more thought that when I heard a voice say, “If you want that house, you must go now. There are buyers coming by the end of the week who are willing to pay much more for it.” I immediately told the real estate agent we wanted to go back to look at the house once more.

After we talked about it, and I asked Mark if he liked it, and he said ‘yes,’ then we decided to make an offer. The real estate agent asked what we wanted to offer. We knew the people needed to sell, but wanted to make a fair offer. Their price per square foot was higher than the average in the neighborhood, so we did not want to offer full price, but I did not want to go through all of the back and forth we had experienced with our last house.

As we stood in the kitchen, I heard a voice say, “He will not sign the paper until he sees the number he must have written down.” I immediately just ‘knew’ the number and knew we had to have that number written down. I suggested we offer that number and then back out $3,500 for the carpet, which needed to be replaced. We sent the paperwork over and it was accepted. We had 10 days to get it inspected and so other buyers could still come look at the house during that time.

Just like I was told, three days later, a couple from out of state fell in love with the house and told the real estate agent that they would pay more than the asking price for the house – a whopping $10,000 more! The inspection went through and we bought the house, and I can happily say that we have not spent our lives renovating or looking for another house. We have lived here and enjoy this house so very much!

This is not us, but a great representation of how we felt!

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Over the weekend, I watched some shows on HGTV about selling houses that are unsellable. I watched one where the homeowners had 52 showings for the house, and no offers. It reminded me of when we sold our investment property (our former house before we bought our current house).

That house was completely updated except for the kitchen. We had installed Brazilian cherry hardwoods throughout the downstairs, updated the built-in home office desk in the family room, painted, updated all the bathroom fixtures. Basically, everything in the house was new, except for the kitchen, which, for us, was not a big deal because we don’t spend a lot of time in the kitchen.

We listed it in March, and by the time Easter weekend showed up (the biggest house-hunting weekend of the year, by the way), we had had 20+ showings and no second viewings or offers.

The real estate agent didn’t have any solutions except to drop the price, and we had invested $50K+ in the house with all of the updates. My sense was that it was NOT the price. It felt like it was something else.

The next day, I woke up with a boost of energy, and I thought, We are going to sell this house! The pricing felt like it was addressing the wrong thing – that there was another reason why the house was not selling. I went over to the house, and sat in the living room, and said aloud, “Okay, guys, I need help. We’ve got to sell this house.”

The first thing that came to me was to upgrade the kitchen. I saw granite countertops and a new oven and stovetop. I just let the impressions flow in.

After the initial impressions quit coming, I asked, “Okay, so show me how to do this.” At the time, we were dealing with the aftereffects of the conference debacle (which was the primary reason we were selling our investment house), so my budget seemed virtually non-existent, but I knew if this is what I was supposed to do, the way would be made for it.

I heard, “Go to Craigslist.” At the time, I had heard of Craigslist, but was by no means someone who uses it all the time. I went there, and sure enough, found appliances, including a double-oven and gas cooktop and microwave in the color that matched our kitchen for $300. Next, I asked about the granite I had seen, and was guided to a builder’s surplus. We bought the granite for the entire kitchen for $400. Our real estate agent referred us to a handy man, and he charged $380 to install everything. We had a brand new kitchen for $1,200! The hardwoods were already in the kitchen and the fixtures and paint had already been updated, so with the few changes we made, the 32 year-old kitchen looked brand new (the previous owners had installed a top-of-the-line Kohler kitchen sink that matched the new granite).

Within a couple of weeks, the house sold for near the asking price!

I’m going to blog tomorrow about how intuition told me how to get the house we now live in.

When Violette was on my show a couple of months ago, we ended up talking about our connection to wild animals. I got a bit choked up as I shared how I felt so sad when our mama mockingbird left our front yard. She had been with us for years and had brought me such hope during my time of gestating and finding my voice. Many days, I would walk and she would fly along with me. Other days, I would drive up and see her sitting on our flag pole. When Mark and I would talk in the backyard, she would come over and sing, and I would feed her. Pretty soon, when she saw us in the yard – front or back – she would come.

A few months ago, another mockingbird showed up. This one, much smaller and sleeker than our little mama (so-called because she built a nest in the bush by our front door and laid eggs that never hatched – truly a symbolic reminder of my own experience, too). This mockingbird is much more courageous, coming into the garage with us and pecking at our back door to be fed. One day, as Mark and I were standing outside in the backyard talking, she walked up to eat the June bugs that came two months early this year. I looked at Mark and said, “Isn’t that amazing? She is just like the other one. Not afraid of us at all.” He thought maybe it was the same one, but I knew the other one. She and I have been friends for so long, I knew her bandit markings on her eyes and also her girth, which is not as common with the sleeker, southern mockingbirds.

When this new mockingbird showed up, I felt that somehow it was related to my longing for the one that left, and magically, our mama came back, too, a couple of weeks later! Now, they are both here nearly every day. I find it amazing how I can walk outside and they will fly right over. The younger of the two lives across the street. She took over mama’s abandoned nest, but a storm recently destroyed it. She rebuilt somewhere across the street.

Many people have told me how mean mockingbirds can be, but I have not felt anything other than a oneness with their hearts and souls. Their energy is very loving and family oriented – just like mine.

At the workshop I taught over the weekend, a woman asked me about animal totems, and I shared she can connect to her animal totem by accessing her inner soul connection and asking for the animal to meet her there. If you have a strong sense of connection to nature and animals, by all means, connect with them and enjoy this divine invitation to access energies that will activate and infuse your own energies.

Many years ago, I attended a workshop with one of my mentors who is a shaman. As soon as I reached the city where the workshop would take place, I saw in my mind’s eye a large black cat with green eyes. I could feel this animal’s massive energy as he paced around me. At the time, my orientation was to ask others what to do. I would ask, “What does this mean?” One woman in the class overheard me asking, and said, “Ask it!” That was the beginning of a grand adventure into a deep, personal connection with animals, spirit and energies in a freeing way I had never known before because of the distance I placed between my own knowingness and the experience. Today, I don’t always try to ‘understand’ with my mind, I simply enjoy the feeling I am having in the presence of the animal, the plant, the person I am with. I am one with the energies…connecting on a level of one-ness. It turns out that the ‘cat’ was a beautiful jaguar and he led me on an amazing journey.

When Violette and I talked about our experiences of becoming one with the animals that touched us so deeply (hers was a jellyfish and mine was this mockingbird), we found it hard to describe ‘what’ had taken place as ‘what’ was beyond words and had traveled into the valley of feelings and knowing.

My wish for you is that you will experience this too, if you want. Enjoy the magic all around you.

A couple of weeks ago, mama mockingbird posed for this picture. This is an ACTUAL picture of her! Her feathers have faded over the years, but she’s still fat and fluffy as usual. It’s funny. When I was little, I had birds as pets. People would often comment on how you can’t hug a bird, but, to me, I could connect with them with my hands and feel their hearts beating. I could look at them and know how they were feeling, and talk to them and they would talk back in their parakeet tweets. I believer everything is alive and talking to us. The question is… are we listening?

Mockingbird Animal Totem

Finding your Sacred Song;
Recognizing your Innate Abilities

Mockingbird teaches you the power of song and voice.
It can help you learn new languages and speak them fluently.
People with a Mockingbird totem are known for their talents, rather than their appearance.

It can also help you find your “sacred song” or your life’s purpose
and helps you realize your inner talents.
Mockingbird will help you act on it without fear.

Remember that your inner song is never lost –
if you missed one opportunity, another one will always appear.

Mockingbird also helps you flush out people and events that can hurt you
and allows to see who and what they are. 
You hear the true song of others.

Follow your own path.  Learn to take what you can and apply
your own creative imagination and intuition to it
and your life will be in harmony.

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Friday, I went to Minette’s house for an art playdate. I felt so excited because I knew we were going to do a ‘thank you’ video for Violette because her online class, Journal Bliss, literally gave us 5 months of art-full play! I highly recommend grabbing a friend and getting one of her classes (Violette’s energy gave us a creative confidence boost and inspired us!).

While we created the video, I looked over and saw one of Minette’s Zentangle gift cards. She has made many of these over the last year or so (and they are all GORGEOUS), and last year, even invited me to a Zentangle class where I was introduced to this thoughtful, meditative creative expression.

As I looked at the card, I felt myself drawn to the card itself. I liked the idea of small creations that I could start and finish and know they are ‘done.’

When I came home, I had some other projects to finish for work and I deliberately chose to take a day off from school. I felt pulled to more art, and so I grabbed my watercolors and started painting.

As I painted, I thought of those cards again. I really wanted some. I thought, I wish I had some of those cards. I painted in my watercolor notebook and thought of different things I could paint on those cards. I have always said “I wish” ever since I was a little girl. I wish works as fast and as magically for me as anything. But, last night I was not even thinking of manifesting the cards when I said it, I was simply expressing what I most wanted from my heart.

I finished painting, put up my palette book and paints, and then played a game with Mark and Chance.

As the evening went on, I felt drowsier and drowsier, so I went to bed and quickly drifted off to sleep. The cards were a distant thought and memory.

Today, I woke up and got right back at my school work, but I couldn’t force myself to get going. Instead, I wandered outside and talked to the plants and birds. I fed our mama and daughter mockingbirds as they chirped nearby. I felt the breeze on my skin as I listened to the chimes gonging in the background. I looked at the color of the sun on the surface of the pool water, and noticed the sun trying to poke through the foliage above me. I soaked up the warm rays and felt them pelting against my pale skin.

I thought I might be able to read outside, but I couldn’t. The energies didn’t match up and I felt myself wishing to just relax, to enjoy this abnormal 70s weather in May and to take time out. So I did. I put the books aside and just enjoyed the rhythm of nature complete with the smell of mint nearby.

I walked inside to get some water and met Mark’s mom coming in from the front. She excitedly exclaimed, “Look what I got for you!” And, there, in her hands were two brand new boxes of Strathmore (one of my most FAVORITE papers) greeting cards…100 cards total! I am amazed at how fast things come to me when I wish from the depths of my heart…my dreamer’s desires. She has been saying that she wants to paint and draw, and with all of this schoolwork on the intellectual plane, she has been throwing tantrums! I have been keeping my promise to her to draw, paint and play at least twice a week. Yesterday, Minette and I only had 30 minutes, so I knew more painting was in store for me. And, now, I’ll do more Zentangling, too. Thank you, Nana, for being the messenger.

I wish… Please send… I ask for… whatever way you ask, ask and expect to receive it!

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http://www.tinaferguson.com/phoenix-rising

This link provides the last ‘entry’ of my mini novella I’ve been writing about ‘letting go.’

When I arrived back from the workshop in Idaho Falls, I expected something ‘to happen’ as I had followed my intuition and felt much better, though nothing really had changed in the financial mess I was in.

What I know now that I didn’t see or recognize then was lots of ‘somethings’ were happening, but I just couldn’t see or acknowledge them. Instead, I held steadfast that I had to come up with the answer. That I had to figure this puzzle out.

I awoke a few weeks later to a steady chant that I heard of “let go” “let go” “let go” and I felt so infuriated with Spirit. I HAD let go…the credit score was hard enough! Wasn’t that proof? I have shared I have been demanding and honest with my conversations with Spirit. I yelled, “I don’t UNDERSTAND! What am I letting go of? WHAT?”

But, to speak of letting go of the ego when you are firmly married to it is like saying, Put your clothes on and let go of them.

A few days after that, I awoke realizing the ‘let go’ was to ‘let go’ of trying to figure everything out. Let go of managing the process. Let go of making things happen. Let go of kidding yourself that you are going to figure this out when you haven’t in the past year, and this whole insane circle is not going to get you an answer.

Ah, okay, but how?

Quit trying to force everything.

Ah, okay, but how?

This was the gateway to remembering my essence, my nature… yet even with this, I still had a long way to go to find solid ground and to remember who I am.

Yesterday, PJ Spur’s Soul Compass Meetup hosted Julie Loar, author of Goddesses for Every Day. I have not attended a workshop in a while that has touched me as deeply and profoundly as Julie’s did. We explored the idea of divine feminine energy, the balancing of this energy on our planet and also many goddesses from ancient times. Her teachings reflect many of the things I have found in my own search for truth, and I received great comfort from knowing we are One. I truly love Julie’s historical perspective…she knows so much!

I felt so grateful for not only Julie, but also the women who gathered in this workshop. Each one brought a wisdom, a grace, a connected spirit of the divine feminine we were all so hungry to explore. When we left, we all felt lighter knowing that the divine feminine is alive and well inside of each one of us.

My site renovations include a book of the week giveaway, and I will be giving away one of Julie’s books. Be sure you are on my list to be part of the pool I select from for a winner!

And, if you get the chance, get Julie’s book or go see her live…definitely will be an experience you will remember.

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It was a rainy winter’s day when it really ‘should have been’ snowing. I glanced out my kitchen window to my rose garden where my beloved statue of Mary patiently awaits Her roses blooming once again in Spring.

How beautiful She is in the sunlight, the snow and in the rain. Glistening droplets of rain clung to the nearby tree’s willowy branches so beautifully framing Mary’s serene presence! This moment felt somehow sacred; to preserve it, I snapped this photo.

I knew this image of Mary, so lovingly, grace-fully and peace-fully standing in the rain was a beautiful Message of Love,  though partly shrouded perhaps by the misty day. It was several days later, while reading Renata’s Rainbow Medicine Circle post, that the message Mary had silently conveyed to me that rainy winter’s day became crystal clear.

Renata wrote of the communications she had received from her friends in Japan, and how, in spite of their fear, they spoke about hope, love, care and compassion for each other. They spoke of gratitude and appreciation for life, the recognition that life is beautiful and precious, and that beauty is present even in these circumstances.

She wrote there is no anger in their words, nor confusion … just a deep sadness, but at the same time a breathtaking clarity as they live from moment to moment. They appreciate the beauty of a bird in flight, the subtle scent of a flower radiating its beauty, the love they feel for one another, and spoke of life as a beautiful dance they are dancing with one another even now.

How completely struck I am by what Renata’s friends shared and is now being shared with the World. Are we undeniably seeing that even amidst what appears to be unbearable human suffering and pain LOVE still shines brightly through the human heart to lift us up?

If so, how MONUMENTAL is that!!! Are we witnessing that LOVE in the human heart prevails over all circumstances and can never be diminished NO MATTER WHAT?

You see, to me, what shone through my stone statue of Mary, though She was drenched with rain, was Her beautiful essence of Love … Her essence of  unchanging, eternal Love. And so perhaps Mary’s silent Miracle Message of Love on that rainy day is most precious of all.

What does the silence of any life circumstance hold at the CORE? If we look into the deepest depths of Life … its most painful and most joyful moments … will we find a core  essence of LOVE in each instant?

I DO BELIEVE SO.

May our Love flow freely from Heart to Heart around our beautiful planet Earth, enfolding each and every Heart within the One Heart of Love.

Shared with You with LOVE, Beverly…

I’m often asked what we can do to restore peace in the world or what we can do after a natural disaster.

One of the things that I find most people do not know, or perhaps believe, is the power of their voice, their intention, their prayer. In this world where so many feel powerless, I urge you to use your intention, your heart to send prayers and support to those who are on the ground addressing the aftermath of this natural disaster.

Many spiritual teachers I know are already in assistance to those who have passed into the spirit realm. They do this from their homes, connecting in spirit to assist these souls to pass.

You can do the same by simply praying a heartfelt prayer for what comes to you in the moment. For me, I have felt pulled to pray for those assisting in rescue to know and find those who are trapped, for example. As I pray for these individuals to gain divine support, I assist by lending my own energy and intention. You can give this gift also.

If nothing in particular comes to mind, a simpler prayer would be, “God, I don’t know what to pray for…I just ask for you to use my prayer for the highest good of all.”

Your Presence does hold power and I urge you to use it to serve others. One moment, one voice, connecting to others…does make a difference.

Rescue organizations are also asking for donations. The American Red Cross will take your donations and do good with it. Give, if you feel pulled. Bless you.

Last week, Julie Loar and I took an adventurous ride into the divine feminine on Queen of Dream Radio. Ever since I received her book, I must say that I have been spellbound by its pages. I feel as if I have stumbled upon an ancient resource full of magic and power, and each day (the book introduces you to a new goddess each day…366 in total…thus the name of the book: Goddesses for Every Day) I show up hardly able to contain my excitement for meeting another one. The daily focus is a mix between historical research, storytelling and wisdom…thus the subtitle of her book: Exploring the Wisdom & Power of the Divine Feminine Around the World! So sensual and delicious for all levels…mind, body and spirit.

This book takes you on an odyssey into many other cultures and traditions, and it also provides a daily contemplation that grounds you in the here and now. These contemplations have touched me deeply and I find myself meditating upon them throughout the day without even trying. It is as if the energy rides along with me throughout the day. A couple recently that spoke to my heart, for example… Sometimes mystery is its own source of power, and knowing the secret spoils the magic. And another…It is wise to know where I am vulnerable and whether openness or protection is the best defense.

I realize as I am sharing these contemplations that they have less meaning by themselves than they do united with the Goddess’s story the contemplate is inspired by. You will have to get her book and see for yourself. Of course, I look at this book and am amazed at the treasures!

On the show last week, I asked Julie how she divided the goddesses into the 12 astrological signs – a task I felt would be huge and I could barely fathom what kind of time and attention it would take to research and sift through more than 1,000 goddesses to choose the 366 for this book, and then to further divide them by attribute into the cycles and rhythms of the year – wow! Julie shared that the goddesses themselves assisted and helped and she enjoyed many miraculous, magical moments in the writing of this book.

I can feel it!

Oh, and if you are in the Dallas/Ft. Worth area on April 2, Julie Loar will be here at PJ Spur’s Soul Compass MeetUp. Join her for a special Divine Feminine workshop!

http://www.meetup.com/Soul-Compass/events/16750480/ – Go here to sign up!

When: Saturday, April 2, 2011 12:00 to 4:00 PM
Where: Las Colinas Executive Suites
320 Decker Drive
Irving, TX 75062
972-822-4548
Price: $44.00 per person (includes a copy of the book Goddesses for Everyday)

I’ve known Jesus’s Presence for a very long time. Since I was three, I have known his promise…You are loved.

A few years ago, I attended a conference. This conference gathering was recommended to me by many of my colleagues at the time. I entered the hotel and the wave of desperation met me at the door. I could literally feel a suffocating wave of desperation flowing down the corridor.

Immediately I didn’t want to go in. Who wants to feel that? At the time, I knew that feeling well, but in my spirit, I didn’t feel desperate. I just had a few big challenges ahead. I can handle it. I’m sure the people in that room likely told themselves the same things. I’m sure they had no idea what kind of energy they were emitting into this seemingly huge space that all at once felt so small to me.

I made my way to the ballroom…the source of the desperate energy. As I stood at the back, trying to feel into where I should go to sit, I felt Jesus’s Presence next to me. In my mind, I could see him standing next to me with His arm around my shoulder. He leaned in and pointed with his other arm.

“Do you see those people?” He asked.

“Yes,” I nodded in the image I saw.

“Those people are looking for something,” he said. “They are looking for me. They just don’t know it.”

I felt hot tears glide down my cheeks as I realized the Truth.

The conference was all about money…how to make it and how to master it. I was there because my colleagues said it would be good for me to learn how these people marketed. After all, I am a marketer, they said. You can learn from them how to market better, they said. And, I believed them. When, in truth, my entire life I have always asked and gotten what I desired. In truth, I have always served and been served.

I felt the sting of my judgments in the hallway. Truth was, I was as desperate as they all felt. A perfect match.

The answer, they thought, was to get more money. I listened as people yelled angrily about their seeming lack of it and the promoters seeming lack of practical tools to ‘get’ it. I watched others walk around like zombies under the trance of the conference promoters. I heard still others berate themselves for taking care of their families instead of following the financial teachings of the ‘guru’ who had created the conference.

I felt hot tears fill my eyes and a burning in my stomach knowing that Jesus knew each plea, heard each desire, felt each ache and pain. He was there. But their focus was not on Him and the comfort He could provide as the Great Compassion and Comfort. Their attention was on the person at the front of the room promising the answer to their problems…and each one must have thought their answer was money otherwise they would not be there. I knew the reverse must have also been true…perhaps they had asked Jesus for help, but didn’t know how to listen to get the answers…because my truth is…there is always an answer coming back.

As God would have it, I checked out 10 movies last week to have something to watch while walking on the treadmill. Two of them had this one gospel song in it…Come Home. The movies could not have been more different. And, each time, the song just felt so sweet. We watched one last night and one this afternoon. Hearing it a second time inspired this post. Coincidence? This song reminded me of this life-changing moment…one that will never leave me…and I hope one that will inspire you to remember you can always Come Home. This song has such a beautiful sound to it, too.

Jesus has told me over the years to not worry about the religions of the world. He has asked me to help his people, indicating everyone regardless of who they are, what they believe. He has said, “I know every heart and every heart is already mine.” I get the feeling He means that He is always there…when you want to talk, when you want comfort, when you desire compassion…your heart is the bridge to that unconditional love you already are. Just turn inward and start connecting to the love inside.

To me, I don’t see ‘sinner’ in the same light I was taught in church. I see it more as a person who has lost their way…one who has lost their divine connection, one who is desperate, so to speak. And, unlike this song implies…I believe Jesus comes to us when we call. That’s what I’ve always experienced and seen. The question is…where is our attention? On the answer that is coming back or on the answer we think we already know.

(G) Softly and tenderly (C) Jesus is (G) calling,
(Em) Calling for (A7) you and for (D) me. (D7)
(G) Patient and loving He's (C) waiting and (G) watching,
(C) Watching for (D) you and (D7) for (G) me.

Chorus:
Come (D7) home, come (G) home.
(D) Ye who are (G) weary (A7) come (D) home. (D7)
(G) Earnestly, tenderly (C) Jesus is (G) calling,
(C) Calling, oh (G) sinner (D7) come (D) home.

Why should we linger when Jesus is bleeding,
Bleeding for you and for me.
Though we have sinned He has mercy and pardon,
Pardon for you and for me.

Chorus

Oh for the wonderful love he has promised,
Promised for you and for me.
Though we have sinned He has mercy and pardon,
Pardon for you and for me.

Chorus

(Often this last verse is not sung)
Time is now fleeting the moments are passing,
Passing from you and from me.
Shadows are gathering, dense night is coming,
Coming for you and for me.

Lyrics and Music by Will L. Johnson

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Yesterday, I woke up with a ton of energy moving through my body. My heart felt like it was racing – a sure sign of high vibes in an ungrounded container.

I jotted off the information coming in with the day’s wisdom…a thought for a client, a piece of my presentation for next week, an idea for a blog entry… and decided I would return to bed for just a few more minutes.

I snuggled in with Mark and he started rubbing my back affectionately, which felt good for about 5 seconds until I realized my ungrounded state was not going to allow for ANY MORE INPUT!

Ten minutes later I headed out the door for a much needed walk to get my body grounded and centered and back on track. I did not pass GO!, I did not check email…well, maybe one email … I did not eat, drink, NOTHING…my body called and I responded.

I took off like a woman with her hair on fire. I walked deliberately, in a straight line toward something I did not know I was moving toward. I walked and walked and walked. Think Forest Gump, only slower. I walked out of my neighborhood, across the bridge into the adjoining older neighborhood.

The feeling was I needed older trees. Something about their energy felt different. Who knew? Who cares? I just went with where I was pulled. I paused for a second when I came to another large street…should I keep going? My body wanted to go forward, so I followed. I kept walking and walking and with every step I felt better and better.

This reminded me of when I was a little girl…I would walk miles and miles every day.

I felt pulled to the left, so I took a turn and then another left, I took another turn. And, there it was… almost like a beacon with a halo around it. A ‘sign’ of sorts… a message for sure… FLOW. F-L-O-W in three foot letters. And, just in case I missed it…the words, Go with the flow. I stood there laughing!

Stay in the flow and everything is available in every moment!

Every moment is a divine creation between you and all of Creation.

Frog as Totem…Transformation

The frog is the totem of metamorphosis. 
It symbolizes coming into your personal power.
It reminds us not to become bogged down with day-to-day living.

It is the totem of water. 
Its voice calls forth the rains.
Emotions are associated with water and
a frog totem may be telling you to get in touch with your feelings.

People with frog medicine give support and energy
where it is needed. 
They can cleanse the negativity from an environment.

It was the first day of 2011 and many inspirational messages were ‘arriving’ on my laptop; certain of them though were wrapping themselves around me in a powerful way … those messages that spoke of releasing old ways and making room for the new … messages like … “This is a new day at the start of a new year, and I choose a new way of being. I choose to be free of the limiting thoughts of the past and to not allow outworn habits or beliefs to control my life” and “Today is a day for freedom. Today is a day to be as the bird, singing and full of joy, leaving worries, troubles and regrets far behind.”

Usually on New Year’s day snow covers the ground here in Southern Ontario, but this year, instead, it was raining, and something was beckoning to me to walk in the warmth of this unusual day.  Off I went, scarf triple wrapped around my neck, but not even thinking to take an umbrella. Well,  it was all about washing away all that no longer served me anyway. Rain could only help.

I love the little park down the road. I am so grateful for the many times over the years this small patch of wilderness has brought me peace and solace. I have probably hugged at least half the trees there.  Entering into the forest felt a little surreal … a carpet of beautiful golden autumn leaves, washed clear of snow, lay before me … no frozen-over crust of icy snow here.

I simply followed where my footsteps led … and then I saw it … glorious, but fallen … a beautiful large tree whose branches now graced the forest floor instead of the sky above. What was it that so attracted me to this amazing ‘work of art’ that lay before me? I knew it held a message.

Instinctively I bent down and lightly touched the large branch that had drawn my attention – its covering bark fell softly to the ground. What lay beneath took my breath away, for revealed under the surface was the golden glow of her wood … beauty that could never have been revealed to my eyes when this tree stood upright in the woods.

And so she had simply laid down upon the forest floor; she did not resist the new and attempt to right herself to an upright position again … her old familiar way. No, instead, she simply offered her beauty and her love in the present moment from the forest floor, and all was so very perfect.

My glance fell to the right of this beautiful tree only to see what lay beside her. It was a stone … and why might that be special? Special because it was in the shape of a heart.  It was as if this tree had said to me, “You cannot take me with you, but, please take my heart … and let it remind you of our meeting and my message to you this day … if I had not released my gnarly blackened bark, you would never have come to know my true golden beauty hidden beneath.”

May 2011 be a blessed year for all … a year in which the awesome beauty hidden beneath our  own ‘bark’ is revealed and shines brightly  and joyfully into our World …

Shared with You with Love, Namaste, Beverly…

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I love the stories I hear from people, and there’s part of me that wants to capture these and share them with EVERYONE!

This is one of those Christmas stories…given by the same woman who shared the Christmas horse story last year. She is a magical woman with many miracles around her.

Lesley, thank you for sharing your heart and this precious story!

This is the story about my cousin, David, who was a State Trooper in Bowie, Texas, who died recently.

His death was unexpected and came when he hit a cow on the road and veered into an 18 wheeler back in September. 

Since this is the first holiday season of his family’s loss, it has been particularly hard.  Lynetta, his wife, shared that David lost his wedding ring more than 20 years ago on a baseball field. As, I’m sure she was thinking of David, she told this same story two days ago when Bo, their son, came home from college. 

Last night, a friend came to the house with David’s ring!!!!  Can you imagine? He said that he had been waking up with it on his mind since Thanksgiving. He noticed it as a random thought about all the times they had shared in 36 years, but decided to go to that baseball field and just commune with David and God.

While he was there, just talking out loud and scuffing around in the dirt, he noticed something shiny and couldn’t believe what he found – David’s ring!

Lynetta said that David ALWAYS gave her jewelry for Christmas and this one would be no different!!!  She feels so blessed and so very loved and definitely in HIS presence.

Just remember… every day you have the opportunity to allow divine to work through you. You may be a special Messenger one day just like David’s friend! Are you listening?

Yesterday, I woke up thinking about Marvelous Marjorie, SARK’s mother. I had no idea why she was first on my mind yesterday, though it took me back several years to a time when I remember the e-newsletter announcing her death.

I remembered the outpouring of love, the deep loss I sensed SARK was feeling, and the unmistakable feeling of a little bit of magic in the air as people responded and shared their love.

Last night, I mentioned that I thought of her first thing yesterday (as a medium…one never knows who may ‘come to visit’) on the show. I said something to the effect of “I remember when she passed on,” despite the fact that when I wrote down or thought about this phrase yesterday it felt wrong. I would pause at the ‘passed on’ part, feeling it was the wrong word somehow.

I dismissed it, and went on with my day, and SARK solved this riddle when she shared that her mother NEVER liked any of the pat little statements like “passed on” (preferring to say … the person DIED), and shared another sweet story of one of her past boyfriends who captured her mother’s heart by throwing them all into one sentence… “kicked the bucket,” “bought the farm,” etc.

We enjoyed a little SARK party here last night, and if you would like to tap into some powerful stories for FEELING the loss and change in your life (so you can transform it), then I highly recommend you get her newest book, Glad No Matter What: Transforming Loss and Change Into Gift and Opportunity, that will hold your hand and walk you step-by-step into gifts of opportunity for healing!